Having a Soulmate
by NutellaNinja101
Summary: A day in the life of platonic soulmates Sam and Dean. No slash.
1. Having a soulmate

_Author's note: There will be no slash, just strong platonic love! Hope you like it!_

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters nor Supernatural

_There is a reason that having a soulmate is so special__._

Sam and Dean had been going through too many near death experiences. After a while, it can make one rethink how they are living their lives. For the brothers, they started thinking of how to fix the whole hugging-or-acknowledges-of-love-only- after-a-near-death-experience.

The whole, more physical touching, acknowledges of love, and lack of personal space was new, if you had to ask them when this started, the answer would be around the time Sam was able to cure Dean from being a demon. The fact that they both could have lost each other made them see things differently.

In between hunts, Sam took his chance to speak to his brother. "We're soul mates, Dean. If we are going to make our relationship better, we need to stop having to die for us to show each other that we already know…that we love each other."

Dean looked at Sam with an expression that he wanted to look in disbelief mixed with slight disgust but it really had more affection in them than any other emotion. "Sam, we really don't need to have this conversation, I-" He looked almost as if the word would cause him pain. Ever the macho man. "Love you, and I know you love me-"

"Exactly." Sam interrupted. "I need- _want- _to do things for you, just like what you've been doing all my life. And I want you to _feel_ how much I love you, instead of just knowing it."

And it was true. Though they never said it out loud, they both feel a need to be with an arm's length of each other at all times. They love each other, it was an unspoken fact between them, in other people's views, their codependency would seem gay, wrong, or disgusting, but this wasn't romantic or sexual, (no absolutely not,) this was something more. This was more pure.

And yes, there used to be some part of Dean had always wanted an apple-pie- life, but in absolute truth, he'd never pictured it without Sam being close by. The same was for Sam, even during his college years, there was always a big part of him that just felt wrong with Dean not being there with him.

Because, choosing between a normal, safe life and being with their brother? They didn't need to think twice.

It did not take long before they both agreed to try acting more like "soulmates". The cuddling thing had started recently. Even after they both had started trying the random hugs through the day, the "I love you" when the other hasn't said it in a while, and the quick kisses on the head, the cuddling thing didn't start right away.

It was on the anniversary of Jess's death. Early in the morning Dean heard it. Small, muffled sniffs that Sam was trying desperately to hide. Unlucky for Sam, Dean is just too attuned to Sam's distress. Dean tried to pretend to be asleep for Sam's sake, wanting him to grieve in peace but after about fifteen minutes of Sam being close to sobbing Dean couldn't take it anymore.

Dean started pulling Sam by the shoulder, and Sam jumped slightly at the surprise contact, forgetting momentarily that he wasn't alone. After seeing it was Dean, Sam relaxes but looks questioningly at his big brother. Dean doesn't wait long before he's pushing Sam again, wants him facing the other way, to which Sam doesn't waste time doing. Although he was still confused.

What happened was something he didn't expect. Which was for Dean to push himself up against Sam's back, wrap an arm around Sam and lay his hand on Sam's chest. Dean rested his face on Sam's shoulder, body curved like the shape of Sam's body, and Sam smiles in the dark, slightly thanking Dean for this, and closes his eyes as he settles in, smelling the unforgettable scent that's exclusively is his brother's. Neither of them understanding before how much they _both _needed this until that moment.

It didn't take long for it to become a regular thing. Because this was something that made them both more loved then Sam's years with Jess or Dean's with Lisa. This was more-they didn't know how else to explain it-loving.

Back in the present, Sam was listening to Dean's heart, his head on brother's clothed chest. Dean was gently rubbing is thumb over Sam's hair line fondly while his other hand lay on Sam's back. Sam had his hand loose on Dean's bicep, gently clutching the arm (even though the shirt was in the way of skin-on-skin contact,) in a slightly possessive hold.

Dean's heart beats steady in Sam's ear, and Sam closes his eyes to feel it with his whole body, feel the rhythm of air flowing in and out, the rise and fall of Dean's chest beneath him. Dean raked his fingers through Sam's hair from the scalp and Sam damn near purrs.

Sam looked up to see Dean from his position of lying On Dean's chest. Dean's eyes opened slightly. "Your bony chin is stabbing me." He mumbles jokingly, shuffling his body to sit up against the headboard before letting exhaustion get the best of him. Sam give a small laugh and playfully hits Dean's chest. But he still sinks in close to Dean's side, relaxing. They both know that they have a hunt today, even if their relationship has changed for the better, their job hasn't.

Sam knows they need to get a head start if they are to find this wendigo even if he can't bring himself to leave just yet. That feeling happens often. The reluctance to leave the other's side. When one of them is in a really good mood after a night of sleeping in the same bed or just simply talking all night, he'll sit up and bend down and kiss the top of his brother's hairline, a smile on his face that clearly says, _I'm so glad that I get to stay with you._

The hunt went as expected: painfully.

Sam's stupid, selfless jerk of a brother just had made sure Sam was pushed out of the way of the crazed Wendigo's path, leaving Dean with the bloody claw marks etched on his side. It's not too bad, but it was enough for Sam to have to clean and stitch the sin back together; he then wrapped his brother's waist in bandages, and gave Dean one of his hoodies to go over Dean's clean shirt. It was something he always done when Dean was hurt.

When he was done helping Dean, he hooked his arm around Dean's back and pulled him close, kissing Dean on the top of his hair as Dean leaned into the embrace happily, his head resting against Sam's chest. This was something that was also nice. Dean secretly agreed that having a soulmate was amazing, especially if that soulmate was his brother and best friend. Though god-forbid someone heard his girly thoughts.

Later that day after Dean agrees to rest and Sam goes off to see what other hunts they have near them, Sam heard noises and makes his way into their kitchen to the sight of Dean making coffee. Sam makes it over to his brother and wraps himself around Dean from behind, chin down in Dean's shoulder. Dean looks over his shoulder, then gives him an affectionate smile and rests his hand on Sam's head for a moment, ruffling his hair, knowing what the hug meant. _I love you. Please don't put yourself in danger again. Be safe. Don't leave me._

Dean understood. But something that Sam didn't understand that no matter what, if Sam is in danger, all that matters for Dean is making sure Sam is safe, it will never matter who else gets stuck in the crossfire, even himself. But Sam will makes sure that his brother is safe. Neither brother could function in this world without the other. They tried to move on when the other was gone before, but it wasn't real. It wasn't home. They know better now. They've seen what life would be like alone. They can't live in a world where the other is gone.

Having a soulmate, is just the best feeling in the world.

_PS: Author's note: I love writing platonically married characters. Thank you for reading! :hug:_


	2. I believe in you

_Platonic soulmates are my weakness. I love these boys. _

_Enjoy!_

Disclaimer: I do not own these character nor the show.

Sam yawned, his eyes half closed as he started to make some tea before he went to bed. Dean was sleeping already, thank God. After all that was happening with the Mark, Sam was grateful when Dean had a good night's sleep.

It was more often than not that Dean would go through the night with a nightmare of his time as a demon. He would wake up gasping, he whole body shaking, clutching at his little brother's arm. Sam, now always lying next to him, would gently pull Dean back down on the bed, whispering how he was safe, that he was loved, and that Sam wouldn't let anyone take him away again. Even if it was time for Death to take him away, he would just have to bring Sam with him.

Sam sighed, rubbing his eyes harshly with the palm of his hand. It was hard, for the both of them. Dean was in pain, both emotionally and physically. Dean had spent most of the morning coughing up blood. After it was over, Dean had avoiding Sam's alarmed gaze, muttering that he was fine.

An arm wrapping around Sam's waist surprised him for a moment, before he relaxed. He intertwined his fingers with Dean's as they rested on Sam's stomach. Sam sighed contently.

"You okay?" Dean asked, hooking his chin over Sam's shoulder.

Sam wanted to roll his eyes. Here Dean was, miserable and full of anger about himself, and he was more concerned about Sam. "I'm fine, just tired." Sam said truthfully, turning his head to plant a quick kiss to Dean's temple. Dean nodded, his smile proving he was content with the answer and he then moved away from Sam to take his usual place at the kitchen table.

Sam walked over to the table shortly after, carry two mugs of hot tea, and carefully setting them down. Dean eagerly pulled his mug over, which caused Sam to raise his eyebrow. "I've kinda grown fond of green tea." Dean admitted sheepishly, giving a half shrug.

Sam held his mug, enjoying the warmth that set into his hands as he carefully cupped it. Dean, however, ignoring the scorching heat, gulped half of it in an instant. Sam eyed his brother for a minute before blurting out "How are you doing? Really?" Sam asked anxiously, hoping Dean wouldn't go for his usual line of "I'm fine."

Dean tensed, setting his cup back down in front of him. His lowered his gaze down to the tabletop, refusing to look at his brother. Sam waited patiently, knowing Dean would answer in his own time.

Letting out a long sigh, Dean raised his tired eyes back to Sam's empathetic ones. "Not really," He said, cupping his mug forcing his hands to stop trembling. "I mean-The Mark's not better but it's also not worse so I guess we can chalk that up as a win." He let out a bitter smile to go with his sarcastic tone. Seeing Sam's troubled eyes, Dean sighed. "I'm sorry Sammy."

Sam hastily admitted he understood, not wanting his brother to get angry at himself. He has every right to be frustrated. Sam had the feeling Dean wasn't just apologizing for the snide comment.

Knowing his brother was still mad at himself, Sam reached his hand over the table to rest it on Dean's, his thumb gently rubbing reassuring circles on Dean's knuckles. Dean moved his other hand to rest it gently on Sam's, bringing their intertwined hands up to place a kiss on Sam's fingers. Dean lowered his head, having his forehead rest on their connected fingers. Sam didn't move, just looked at his brother with adoring tenderness.

"It's just that," Dean started, placing both their hands back on the table. "It feel that there isn't anything I can do to get rid of this." He gestured disgustingly to the Mark, anger seeping through his tone again. Unexpectedly, Dean rose up from the table, to which Sam hurriedly followed suit.

"This," Dean harshly gripped his arm holding the Mark, his nails digging into the Mark and his flesh, his expression proving that he wanted oh-so-much to rip it off. "Is what lead me to becoming a monster, a demon, this is what made me almost kill you and more innocent people-"

"Dean," Sam implored. "Listen to me! You were a _demon_, it wasn't you! You didn't do anything wrong-"

"I almost killed you!" Dean repeated angrily, not at Sammy but himself. His expression held pain, his eyes pleading for his little brother to understand. He didn't deserve Sam, he didn't deserve his undying devotion. "As a demon I could have killed you! What if the Mark continues to make me worse? What if I can't control it? I can't do this," Dean whispered brokenly. Sam's heart broke and the shake in his voice, wanting nothing more than to wrap Dean in his arms and protect him, keep him safe, kill everyone that would even _dare _hurt his brother. Just like Dean has been doing all his life. "I can't keep fighting-"

"Yes you can." The answer was quick, no thought or logic or reason put into it. Just fact: Sam couldn't have a world with no Dean. Dean would never stop fighting for Sam. He would kill, die, sell his soul, _anything _as long as he didn't have to live in a world where his soulmate was gone. Dean would die first. And Sam vows to do nothing less.

Dean frustratingly ran his fingers through his hair, before sliding his eyes over to Sam's unwavering gaze. "Why?" Dean asked, disbelief but also fondness in his voice. "Why do you still believe in me?"

Taking a stop forward, Sam let out a small smile, his eyes growing wet with emotion. "You're my brother Dean, I never _stopped_ believing in you."

Sam, now close to Dean, cupping the back of his neck and gripping the nape of his neck almost possessively. "I promise, we will find a way to help you. _I promise_." There was conviction in his voice, conviction that said that there was no way he would leave Dean's side, _never_.

Dean never broke eye contact during this, and after a few seconds his perfect, half small smile returned. Green eyes with the same conviction told Sam what he wanted to know: that he was going to keep going, keep fighting, all for his Sammy.

Sam pulled Dean closer, resting their foreheads together, both of their hands on nape of the others neck, their breathing in sync.

"You better go back to bed, you look like crap." Dean pulled back, however, their arms still gripping the other's forearms. Ni ether one willing to abandoned this connection.

"You'll come with me?" Sam insisted, imploring his brother with his hazel eyes.

Dean scoffed, his loving grin betraying his goal to look annoyed with his little brother. "'Course I will." He affectingly push back some of Sam's rebellious strands of brown hair, fingers lingering slightly on Sam's cheek. Sam brought his own hand to cover Dean's, smiling fondly at his big brother.

"Okay come on, no more delaying, we're not getting any younger here." Dean cleared his throat, moving his hand away from Sam's cheek only to gently pull his moose of a brother down to plant a kiss on his hairline.

"Now who's delaying us?" Sam teased. Dean ignored his quip, smiled, and headed back to their room. Sam grinned and followed immediately after.

_I hope you have a wonderful day!_


	3. Valentine's Day Part One

_ This image for the profile for this story is not mine. I do not own it._

_ I hope you like this! _

It was a bad day.

Being Valentine's Day you wouldn't have thought it would be a bad day, yet here they were. Sam and Dean, collapsed in exhaustion in the middle of a blood covered dining room, surrounded by the bodies of the demons and the demon's victims. It was sick how the blood seemed to match perfectly with the blood red streamers and heart balloons that was decorating the once nice looking restaurant.

Neither brother said a word, the only sound in the room was their heavy breathing. The room only an hour ago had been full of happy couple and groups of singles was unrecognizable. The demons had their fun before the brothers got there.

Groaning, Dean put a hand gently on his ribs to protect them from his movement to get up. "You okay Sammy?" He called to the opposite side of the room, eyeing his fallen sibling with concern. Sam gave him a thumbs up, yet failed to get up, still panting. The smell of fresh blood starting to get to him, making him want to puke.

Dean walked over to Sam, his one hand still covering his side, and with his other hand firmly yet gently hooked his arm around Sam's back, gripping his shirt to carefully pull him up. The younger sibling clutched to Dean's shirt. His forehead resting for a moment on the other's chest. The demon had cut him on his side, he hadn't seen her come out with the knife. He did, however, he did see his enraged brother come up to stab her viciously through the neck, the smirk Dean gave her broken body did not go unnoticed from Sam.

"It's not too deep," Dean said honestly, even though his voice was terse with anger at the dead demon. "I'll have to give you stiches when we get home."

"Okay." Sam breathed, his head still resting on Dean's torso, enjoying hearing Dean's heart beating in sync with his own. "Whatever you say."

Dean said nothing more. Completely forgetting his own wound, Dean had one arm wrapped securely around Sam's back, his fingers hooked through Sam's jeans belt loops to keep him study, the other hand laid flat against Sam's chest, making it so he didn't fall forward.

"What about you?" Sam groggily asked. He may be in pain but there was no way he wasn't still observant when it came to his brother.

Dean gave a small smile at Sam's attentive eyes. "It's nothing. Tis a flesh wound." He drawled. Noticing Sam's genuine worry over his well-being, Dean said honestly "It hurts but nothing that can't be fixed. Just some future black and blue marks."

"If it starts to feel worse, let me know…" Here Sam was, in pain, bleeding weakly, and yet his whole world revolved around Dean. Dean had to look away from Sam's devoted gaze to hide the slight blush that hinted his cheeks.

Finally making it to the Impala. Dean gingerly set Sam in the passenger seat. Soothing back some of Sam's hair, Dean planted his lips gently to Sam's forehead. Pulling back a second later, Dean gently cupped the back of Sam's neck, making it so Sam and him could make eye contact.

"You're gonna be okay." Dean said earnestly. "It's not bad, the moment we get home, I'll fix you right up. You won't even have a scar to show off girls next time we hit a bar." He added with a smile. He was thankful Sam was more tired from the hunt that in pain, but any time Sam was suffering, he felt sick.

A tired laugh escaped Sam without his permission. "I know I'll be fine." Sam said honestly. "I have you."

Dean couldn't hide the affectionate smile he gave. Clearing his throat, he buckled Sam in the seat securely, and sat in his driving seat. He then called the police as an anonymous tip the hung up. It would most likely be thought of as a serial killer's doing. Dean started the car, his mind thinking about the family's who would learn about what happened today as he drove away.

Dean sighed tiredly, his heart going out top the victims relatives. Noticing his brother's sadness and knowing exactly what it was that he was thinking of, Sam moved his hand to lightly clutch Dean's thigh. Knowing Dean would understand it as _It wasn't your fault. You are so brave. I love you._

Dean turned his head for a quick glance at Sam. "Love you too." Dean said sincerely.

Sam's hand never moved away the whole trip home.

Yeah, days like this sucked. Hunts like this sucked. But it was having someone who was there for you at the end of the day that made it worth it. Someone like a soulmate...

Maybe it wasn't such a bad day after all…

_Happy Valentine's Day!_


	4. Valentine's Day Part Two

_This is a little follow up from chapter 3. :) __I want to give out a hug for all who have favorite and reviewed this story! Your encouragement has made my year! Thank you all! *hugs*_

Dean carefully wrapped his arm around Sam's waist and cautiously walked them to their bunker's living room. Sam had to bite on his lip to keep from groaning in pain, no need for Dean to feel guilty about this.

Gently setting Sam on a couch, he patted Sam's knee. "Be right back." He said. "Don't get blood on our couch." He joked. Pleased with Sam's weak but genuine smile, Dean rushed off to get their first aid kit and some towels.

Hurrying back, Dean had his hands full and immediately started mothering henning Sam. Sam said nothing during the process of cleaning and stitching the wound, but he couldn't hide the few grunts of pain that escaped his lips, to which Dean would look up and give Sam a sympathetic look. "It's okay Sammy. Almost done." Sam bit back a groan. "I'm fine." Sam said, smiling at Dean. "Feeling better already." He added honestly. When it was over, Dean carefully grabbed Sam's hand and placed it between his own hands, gripping it protectively before bringing Sam's fingers to his lips. "You okay?" He asked, his gaze never leaving Sam's face, looking for the slightest sign of agony Sam could be hiding.

Sam nodded, bring his other hand to intertwine with Dean's fingers. "Tis but a scratch." He said, mocking his brother. Dean paused for a moment to shake his head in pity. "If you're gonna steal my jokes, do it properly." Dean gently shoved at Sam, who just laughed. "I've lost a lot of blood, I'm allowed to steal your crappy jokes." Sam responded, rolling his eyes. Sam then scooted more into the couch so there would be more room for Dean to sit on the edge, something Dean wasted no time to do to be closer to his brother.

Dean smoothed away from of Sam's floppy hair to feel his forehead. "Yeah well, if you get a fever, you're taking care of yourself." Dean spoke absentmindedly, gently feeling over Sam's face, looking for any more bruises or cuts that may have escaped his previously examination.

Sam softly grasped Dean's hand away from his face, clasping their hand together again, resting them in Dean's lap. He did this half because he wanted Dean to see that he was fine and the other half was because he wanted this connection with Dean. Sam smiled tenderly at Dean's still protective gaze. What did he do to serve such an amazing big brother?

"I'm fine." Sam said solemnly. Dean looked down at their entwined hands, letting out a sigh. "I know." Dean answered sincerely. "Just-just be careful, please?" Dean rose his eyes to look at Sam pleadingly. "I know you aren't _trying _to get hurt-of course you're not-but-" Here Dean cut himself off, his words failing him. Sam squeezed Dean's hand softly. "What?" Sam prompted gently, lowering his head to look properly at his brother. "You can tell me." Sam vowed, promising no judgment. Just love. Just like Dean has done for him.

Dean took a deep breath, than rose his eyes, a strong protectiveness emanating from him. "You are everything to me." He said, no trace of teasing. "I will do everything in my power to protect you."

Sam couldn't (and didn't want to) hide his grin, affection in his eyes. Sam brought his hands up to place them both on either side of Dean's shoulder, then gently started pull him down. Dean gave no resistance, now lying on his side, his back to Sam's front. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, bringing him closer. "I know." Sam said, bringing Dean even closer. Dean wrapped his fingers around Sam's wrist. Sam placed a kiss in Dean's hair. Resting his cheek on the top of Dean's head, Sam whispered."You're everything to me too."


	5. Insomnia

Dean didn't want to say anything. He _really _didn't want to make this turn into a problem.

He figured he would just get better on his own. He would have simply said nothing, carried on like nothing was the matter, but… but this was Sammy he was talking about. They both promised that the lies would finally stop. All lies did was hurt them. And Dean just didn't want to lie to his brother anymore. He didn't deserve that.

Sam suspected something was wrong. Being in tune with each other, both brothers could tell when one was suffering. Of course, seeing that something was off with Dean wasn't that difficult to see. Dean had been getting dark circles under his eyes, he was starting to look half asleep lately. Later in the evening, Dean sat down on the edge of his bed and told Sam he needed to talk to him. Thus proving to Sam that something was desperately wrong.

Dean stayed quite for a few moments, his anxiety having him crack his knuckles. Finally, he started. "It hasn't been long, but…Sleeping has been…a problem as of late." Dean confessed.

"How long has this been going on?" Sam asked, torn between keeping a calm attitude and pulling Dean into a tight hug.

Dean let out tired sigh, leaving Sam leaning towards the tight hug idea. "'Bout three days." He answered, giving a one sided shrug and started looking down at his hands. He didn't carry on.

Sam stayed silently on the side of the bed. Unwearyingly, he waited for Dean to continue. When Dean didn't, Sam gently reached over and cupped Dean's chin, lightly bring it closer so they could make eye contact. "Do you know why? What started this?" Sam asked, his eyes holding no judgment.

Dean sighed again. Taking a deep breath, the older brother continued. "It's-It's just that…the nightmares have gotten more realistic. They've been getting worse."

"What are they about?" Sam prompted, removing his hands and folding them on his own lap. "Just…dream and some memories of when I was a demon and…" Here Dean paused again before swallowing thickly. "Things that could happen if we can't find a cure to the Mark."

Sam nodded. "I see." His mind went into overdrive, thinking of all the ways he could find ways to help Dean. He would do whatever he could to help Dean.

"It's not a big deal Sammy." Dean interrupted, he could tell Sam was ready to whatever he could to fix him, something he didn't want Sam to be troubled with. "Really. I'm just being stupid."

"That's not true Dean." Sam interjected, irritated for Dean being hard on himself. "Dean, please you don't-"

"No, really Sam, I know, but I shouldn't made you feel like this is your responsibility, this shouldn't be your burden."

"Hey, you telling me that you want help is never going to be a burden, _you _are _never_ a burden."

Sam didn't want Dean to feel guilty, he just wanted to know if there was a way he could make Dean feel better. He just wanted to help him. Sam gently brought his hand to lay on the back of Dean's neck. Dean instantly relaxed under Sam's touch, his hardened look of responsibility lessening some. Sam leaned Dean close enough so Dean's temple rested on Sam's. With his one hand, Sam brought his fingers to Dean's cheek, caressing it softly.

"It's okay Dean." Sam said softly.

"I'm sorry Sammy." Dean mumbled, his eyes downcast.

"No, Dean really, this isn't your fault. I promise. It's okay. We're going to be okay." Sam said earnestly. Of course he was going to do everything in his power to help. How could he be okay when Dean wasn't?

"What is wrong with me?" Dean said softly, talking more to himself than to his brother. "Why am I constantly screwing thing up? Why am I so _broken?_"

At the last question Dean turned to Sam, his eyes pleading for Sam to know what was wrong with him, to know how to fix him. Fix him so he could be there for Sammy.

Sam couldn't take it anymore. Reaching for Dean, Sam pulled him into a deep embrace. The action took Dean by surprise for one moment but he promptly returned the embrace, his hand gripping Sam's shirt. He then rubbed soothing circles on Sam's back, like he was the one who needed comforting. The gesture made Sam hold on tighter.

"You are not broken Dean." Sam said honestly. "You are Dean Winchester, my brother, my _soulmate. _You are the strongest person I know." He gently let Dean go, yet still held him at arms' length. "Please, let me help."

Dean stared at Sam like he was the most amazing sight he has ever seen. Letting a small smile take place, Dean nodded. "Okay. Okay Sammy."

Slowly, emotional exhausted, they both sank comfortably on the bed.

"Hey," Sam says, lovingly. "You're safe."

Dean rolls closer to face Sam, resting his head in between Sam's neck and the crook of Sam's shoulder. After he knows Dean is comfortable, Sam drapes his arm around him, his hand flat against Dean's back. Sam's chin hooked comfortably over Dean's shoulder.

"I love you," Sam whispers in his ear. "I've got you, Dean."

Dean laid there quiet for a long moment. Just when Sam thought he may be asleep he heard a whispered "Love you Sammy."

Sam kissed the top of Dean's head, and the both of them awaited the morning together.

_I hope you all have a lovely day!_


	6. Who will catch you when you fall

Dean hadn't been doing well.

Sam knew that between his insomnia, his time as a demon, the Mark, it had been a rough couple of months for Dean. Dean was emotionally drained, and he had every reason to be. Sam knew without doubt that Dean didn't want to talk about himself with Sam not because he didn't trust Sam but he just didn't know _how_ to tell Sam. Loving Sam, trusting him, protecting him, those were emotions Dean would allow out and show to Sam every day, but feeling about his own inner self, they took work. Sam understood this. And he knew Dean would eventually tell Sam, but in his own time.

But the hunt just pushed him over the edge.

It was supposed to be simple. Just a lone werewolf. They thought it wouldn't even take a day to finish up. It was a werewolf had made its way to a small town and broken into a family's home, mom, dad, and two sons. At first it looked like the family had been lucky, no one was hurt, or at least, it was what they had said. Sam and Dean had found and killed the wolf before they figured out the wolf had fresh blood on him coated on its teeth but no one had come out with being attacked.

It was a day later before they put the pieces together. The older son had been bitten, but hadn't told anyone.

Sam and Dean did not find out until it was too late. They had gotten back to the house only to find the family lifeless and their son currently in his bloodied wolf form. Sam was frozen, so distraught in coming back too late he didn't have enough time to see Dean approached and shot the boy in the chest, his face expressionless.

With the mess of the bodies and the torn up house, the only way to hide the werewolf attack was to burn the house. Dean told Sam he would do it, not taking no for an answer.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked his brother later, after the house was destroyed and the sirens were within earshot of them.

Dean said nothing at first, his eye fixed on the road before he finally drawled out "Just a hunt Sam. I'm fine."

And if that wasn't Dean Code for "I am hiding my emotions to protect you so good luck getting them out" Sam didn't know what was. Sam reached out his hand to grab his brother's. Dean squeezed it reassuringly but it was clear he was only doing so to make Sam feel better.

When they pulled into the driveway of the motel they were staying at, Sam turned to talk to his brother but Dean had already rushed out, slamming his Baby's door behind him. Sam ran out of the car rush to his brother's side, and together they walked in sync, just as they have always done.

"Gonna take a shower." Dean muttered and was gone before Sam could say a word. Sam wanted nothing more than to grab Dean by the arm and slap him upside the head, then quickly pull him into a bear hug, but he knew Dean needed space after a hunt like this, and Sam would give it to him, but he was not going to let Dean's unnecessary and misplaced guilt over not saving this family hurt Dean. He couldn't and wouldn't let it happen.

Dean stepped out of the bathroom a half hour later, fully clothed and to anyone else, they would think that there was nothing unusual with Dean's demeanor. Anyone, except Dean's brother.

"Hey." Sam said, looking up from his laptop. "You hungry?"

Dean shrugged then jerked his head up in an unenthused "sure", and turned his back to Sam, reaching for a cup in the cabinet. This just made Sam suddenly get up from his position. Placing his hands on either side of Dean's shoulder, he forcefully pulled him into an embrace.

Dean stiffened, but only for a moment. Returning the hug, Dean guided Sam's head to place him on his collarbone, running is fingers through Sam's unruly hair. Sam resisted a sign of content, clutching the fabric of Dean's shirt.

"I'm fine Sammy." Dean assured, pulling away. Patting the nape of Sam's neck, Dean gave a sall smile and returned to his earlier task.

No. This was too similar to before. Before when he didn't see through Dean's lies, when the both of them had missed the subtle signs of the other's suffering, not wanting to hurt or worry the other. No he wouldn't let that happened, not again, and not to Dean.

"It was not your fault." Sam said bluntly, surprising himself and Dean. "There was nothing you could do. If you are going to blame anyone blame me!" Dean scoffed at that. Clearly Sam wasn't the one Dean was blaming. "I was the one who insisted that the hunt was over, I was the one-"

Dean stared at his little brother with an almost disgusted look, not at Sam, but at himself.

"I should have been there faster!" Dean planned on denials or jokes, something he would have used to distract Sam, but he would _not _have Sam be feeling this weight, he didn't deserve this. "I should have figured out why my gut was telling me this hunt was not over! This was my fault, Sammy! Mine and mine alone!"

"Why?!" Sam took a step closer which only made Dean take a step back, not in fear of Sam, but in fear of showing emotion. Things were different between the brothers, yes, but Dean couldn't allow Sam to see his guilt. _Please Sammy, please wait until tomorrow, when I can hide it better, please, please Samy don't see how badly I've been failing all these people_\- Sam took a deep breath, forcing himself not to have Dean think he was gaining up one him. "Look," Sam sighed. "Please just-just listen to me: There was _nothing _we could have done for them. Okay? Dean please, don't blame yourself, please-"

"Their son killed them." Dean's voice quivered but it didn't break. "Their oldest kid, the one who was supposed to protect them got them all _killed. _He failed them, and it just is- I fail _everyone,_ always, I get them killed or I fail them." Dean was fighting to get the words out, to tell Sam but his body was betraying him, his eye started to sting with tears and his voice wouldn't hold steady. "He got them all killed." He whispered before turning his back to Sam, roughly rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Dean wanted to push Sam away, make him not see Dean in this state, wanted desperately for Sam to see him as strong as he was when he was Sam's hero. There was no way Sam would think that anymore. How could he be Sam's hero, this weak, pathetic, worthless man?

Sam gently rubbed his thumb in a soothing circle, guessing what Dean was thinking, and Sam wanted nothing more than to prove him how wrong he was.

"Dean…" Sam started, looking at the back of Dean's head. "You are my brother, my best friend. I don't _ever _want to you think that I want you to take this blame, to be in pain." Dean turned around, drinking in every word of what Sam was saying. Sam continued. "I would never hurt you, I would die first."

"Sam…" Dean couldn't look away, didn't push back the hands on both of his shoulders, his eyes fixed on his brothers face. Dean's own arms were wrapped around himself in a protective matter, like he was afraid of falling apart.

"I don't want to fail you, okay?" He whispered, looking down at his feet, not wanting to see Sam's face change with pity or disgust at Dean's vulnerability. "I'm so…so _scared _that I will mess up and leave you alone or worse, get you killed." His eyes rose up, his green eyes full of love and devotion for Sam, always for Sam. "I don't want to leave you."

Sam and Dean loved each other, there was no denying it; they just don't have to say it out loud for the other to know. Sam needed Dean to know that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for his brother, the same goes for Dean.

"You're not going anywhere Dean." Determination, devotion, and love laced through Sam's voice. "Not without me. I promise." He tighten his hold on Dean's shoulder, never broke eye contact with him, showing him that he was telling the truth. Dean hung his head down, hiding his face.

Sam heard the shuttering sob escape Dean's throat. It was a heartbreaking, agonizing _real _sob that made Sam's chest tighten, but he refused to allow himself show emotions until he heard the second sob. And when it did come, it tore him to the core. Slowly, Dean uncurled himself from his position of practically holding himself together, and slowly leaned towards Sam and rest upon his chest.

Their arms wrapped around each other as Dean pressed himself more fully to Sam. Sam tilted his own head to the side, allowing Dean to rest his forehead against Sam collarbone. Another sob broke its way through Dean and soon his sobs were rushed and painful, as if all the tears he had refused to shed were all coming now. Both brothers ended up pulling each other closer until they were curled into a tight embrace, Sam's chin resting on Dean's head; hands grasping and held onto each other's shirts like a life-line.

"It's okay. It's okay." Sam repeated, uncaring that his own tears were falling upon Dean as he gently rocked their bodies.

Sam felt almost dizzy, with Dean absolute trust in him, his trust that allowed to him show "weakness" to the one person he wanted to keep thinking he was unbreakable. Dean still clung to Sam, his sobs died down and his eyes were dropping shut against his will. Sam pushed back Dean's hair out of his face. He pressed a tender, light kiss on his brother's forehead.

Sam smoothed Dean's hair back gently while murmuring "It is okay Dean. I'll be here when you wake up. Promise. I'll never leave you. I'm not letting you go." _I can't let you go anymore then you could let me go._

With Sam's permission, Sam could see the complete faith in his big brother's eyes. He watched as Dean lost the battle of the eyelids and leaned fully into Sam, his fingers still holding Sam. Sam chin resting against Dean's head while Dean's forehead rested on Sam's collarbone.

"Thank you Sammy…" Dean whispered.

Their bond was strong, it was resilient even before they choose to try their Acting Like Soulmates, but because of that choice, their connection had become stronger. Because this was a stepping stone to fully understanding the pure love and understanding they had. Their connection, their bond, it wasn't about strength, it was about their faith in each other. Sam smile into Dean's hair.

And he knew they would be alright.


	7. I need you here

"…Is this a date?"

"No, it's us having a day off."

"Looks like a date."

Dean had walked into their living room to find the sight of beer and junk food on the coffee table, _Tombstone _on the TV, ready to play, and a hopeful looking Sam sitting on the edge of their sofa, looking at Dean like an eager child waiting for his parent's approval.

"Did you wreak my kitchen?" Dean squinted at Sam suspiciously.

Sam let out a sigh. "No."

"Did you break something?"

"No, Dean."

"Did Cas break something?"

"No."

"Are you dying?"

"No!"

"Am _I_ dying?"

"Dean," Sam couldn't stop a laugh from escaping his lips. "Nothing is wrong I promise, I just figured we deserved a break. No hunt, no leaving the bunker, just us relaxing." Sam insisted, gesturing to the empty seats.

That was his excuse, but one of the real reasons was that Dean always did everything for Sam, he always put him first, and as much as Sam appreciated his big brother's love, he always wished that he could do something in return; he wished that Dean would just let Sam could play big brother every once in a while, so that they could take care of _each other_. This was just a little way of Sam saying thank you to his brother.

Dean gave out a scoff. Looking back between Sam and the TV, Dean shrugged one shoulder, still smiling at his little brother. "Alright, tell me what you broke later." Sam shoved Dean's arm but his grin was real.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Dean could see that Sam was paying more attention to him than the movie. The not-so-subtle glances Sam spared his way every five minutes were not as sly like as he thought. But when Sam said nothing, Dean choose to ignore it, expecting Sam to say something soon. Although after they spent over an hour of watching the film with a still silent Sam however, Dean reached over for their remote and paused the film.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently, his turning his body to face Sam's.

Sam was quiet at first, his head hung down, absentmindedly cracking his knuckles. He deny nothing, which Dean knew was a good sign of him telling Dean what was the matter. Taking in a breath, Sam raised his eyes to meet his brother's loving ones. "I just wanted this to help." His usually clear voice sounded small, more like a child's voice.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, genuinely confused. When Sam stayed silent, Dean reached his hand over, affectionately resting it on Sam's knee, a quiet way to encourage him to continue.

Sam sighed, but placed his hand over Dean's hand, squeezing it kindly. "I wanted to help you. You've always been helping me, all my life. I just wanted to do something, even though this is a small thing, I wanted it to help you." Seeing that Dean still looking confused, Sam searched for the right words. "Each second with you is a gift Dean," Sam implored his brother to understand. "And I won't take any of this for granted. I just wanted this to help you forget all that has been happening. With...everything." Sam finished lamely, unsure how to talk about all that has happened to his brother in the last few months.

Dean said nothing, he just looked at Sam with understanding. After Dean started caressing Sam's hand in assurance that he understood what his brother was talking about, Sam pressed on.

"I don't know what's going to happen to us with this lifestyle. I want us both to die of old age, not getting ripped apart from a monster or from a demon. Look, I know we can't just up and quit now with all that is going on, but I wish that later, many soon or maybe in the next few years, we could…well, just take a step back. We can hunt, but we don't have to travel God knows where all the time, we could do what Bobby did. Stay in one place, help out other hunters. But we can be safer. We can be _together_."

Sam stopped speaking, but he looked at Dean with a hopeful expression, praying that Dean understood. Reaching over and grabbing Sam's hand gently, Dean tried to pour everything into that touch.

"I don't know what's going to happen Sammy." He started, leaving his eyes on their connected hands. "I don't know how this will end, I don't. But what I do know with complete certainty is that I love you, little brother. I do. And I'm never going to be ready to live a life without you."With that, Dean raised his eyes, his eyes never looking away from Sam's. "So whatever happens, we _will_ stay together."

Sam had and always would be his anchor. Without Sam, Dean would be adrift, would have no purpose. His brother was everything, and he didn't want to go trough life without him, not again, _never_ again.

Sam reached over to rest a hand on the back of Dean's neck. Without a word, he brought him closer and Sam brought his own lips to plant a kiss on Dean's forehead. There didn't need to be anymore words. Sam leaned against Dean. After a while, he let his head fall on Dean's shoulder as they played the movie, feeling himself start to fall asleep. He felt hands wrap around his own wrist, gently caressing them.

Before he fell asleep, he felt Dean place his lips against his temple. "Love you Sammy."

Sam smiled, and soon fall asleep.


	8. The witch's curse Part One

_Thank you all SO much for the favorites, follows, and reviews! You all are the best!_

They didn't expect this.

Well yeah, some witch-y bitch did throw something that sounded a lot like a spell at them before they fried her, but nothing happened. College Boy Sam said he had never heard of the curse. Maybe it was just some desperate yells of a dying witch. They thought when they didn't turn into frogs that they were safe. But, ever the Winchester luck, they were wrong.

"Witches are the _worst _things we've faced, really?" Sam asked skeptically, sitting in the passenger's seat of the Impala.

"Not the absolute worst," Dean drawled, glancing at Sam before turning his eyes back on the empty road. "Just one of the top three."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "And just how do you figure that?" Sam asked disbelievingly.

"Humans, man." Dean answered simply. "Out of all the things we've faced, humans are usually the most nasty ones. And witches are _nasty, _man." Dean let out a fake shudder to emphasize his point.

Sam gave an exasperated sigh but said nothing, although his smile revealed his amusement.

Pulling into their driveway, Dean was about to mock Sam for his lack of response to Dean's flawless argument, when a deep cough caught him by surprise. Dean stopped the car, another cough taking place. Concerned, Sam reached over his seat to place a hand on Dean's chest, gently rubbing circles while Dean was trying to clear his throat.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked. The worry was evident on his face.

Dean cleared his now sore throat. "I'm okay." He mumbled, looking at Sam with assurance before stepping out of the car. Sam followed him closely, eyeing him with uneasiness. It could just be that Dean was sick but what with _everything _that has been happening to Dean in the last few months...well, Sam was just being cautious.

Later, when they were settled down in their home, Sam in the kitchen making tea and Dean in the other room looking for a new case while the TV was on, Sam could hear Dean's muffled hacks from their living room. They were sounding more and more painful as time went by.

Sam was just about to go to Dean to check up on him, when his brother came in.

"Hey." Sam said lightly, holding out the cup of tea for Dean. Dean smiled his genuine thanks and carefully grabbed it, forcing his coughs back as he sipped it. Dean faced away from Sam, glancing at the TV that was still on the news station. Sam noticed now Dean's other arm was gently wrapped around his own waist. His coughs must be painful now, affecting more than just his throat.

Dean set down his still full mug, the force of his coughs too much for him to swallow. Setting down his own cup, Sam walked over to his brother. Wrapped his arms around Dean from behind, his chin down in Dean's shoulder. "You sure you're okay?" He asked quietly, holding Dean tenderly. Dean entwined their fingers, settling them on his stomach. "I'm not sure." He said honestly.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

It was later that night. Dean only coughed a few times in the evening, reassuring Sam that he most likely was just getting sick. Sam nodded , agreeing with Dean. It was probably just a cold or something, Sam hoped. But he was still going to check for some sort of curse that could do this, juts to be one the safe side. Besides, if it was Sam who was like this, Dean would do the same. The thought assured Sam.

Sam left the room for a while, looking through his laptop for some further research. Dean was engrossed in a book at the time, so Sam left without saying anything, knowing he didn't want to be too far from Dean. Before he had even fully started his task, he heard a thud from where he left Dean. Sam didn't even think about the fact that he let his laptop fall to the carpet, or the act that he didn't know what had created the noise, all he could think of was to rush over to where his brother was.

Dean lay on his knees. Wide, glossy eyes looking back to Sam's terrified ones. Dean's arms were wrapped around his body, failing to contain the shakes that now went through his body, like he was freezing.

Scrambling forward, Sam caught his brother. Sam held him tightly to his chest. "What happened?" Sam demanded, his voice shaken. He refused to abandoned his hold. Dean clung weakly to Sam as the coughs erupting from his body, he could feel Dean's harsh breathing on his neck as he continued to hold Dean.

Sam gently pulled Dean away from him to get a better look when he felt his own heart stop. Blood. It was dripping from Dean's lips. There was pain etched on his features. Helplessly, Dean raised his green eyes to Sam. "I don't know." He whispered, his voice could raise no higher.

Sam grunted as he wrapped an arm around Dean's waist and hefted him to his feet. "Can you walk?" Sam asked, still grabbing on. Dean lightly shrugged him off. "I'm fine." He muttered. Taking a single step forward, he felt nausea overcome him again. "On second thought…" He mumbled lamely.

Dean leaned heavily on his brother. If it wasn't for the near death grip on Dean, Sam was sure his brother would land flat on his face. Both brothers slowly made it to their couch that was settled in their living room.

"Sam." Dean's voice was weak, shaky. Sam turned to look at his brother and before he knew it, Dean brought a hand up to cover his mouth when the coughing fit hit him again, interupting whatever it was he was about to say. Abruptly, blood sprayed through Dean's fingers that covered his mouth, leaving a gagging big brother with blood slowly dripping down his fingertips.

Wasting a second he didn't have in terror over this situation, Sam forced himself out of his shock and made a grab for a garbage can. Sam pushed it in front of Dean's mouth, his strong hand placed on the nape of Dean's neck, messaging the tense muscles under his fingertip.

"It's okay." Sam muttered shakily. "I got you. I've got you, I'm here." Deep, sick bouts that shook Dean's whole body, leaving him unable to respond to Sammy. Sam placed his other hand on Dean's back, at a loss of what to do.

SPNSPNSPNSPSNPSNPSPN

Dean's shiver racked his whole body and his own bed as he stayed curled on his side, almost folding himself in half. Sam was sitting next to Dean on the bed. He couldn't help but look up from his laptop that rested on his legs as he would stopping his frenzy research of a cure to see how Dean was doing. The sharp intakes of breath and painful exhales would that left Dean in agony were slowly getting more frequent. He was trying to fight off the pain but Sam knew he was not getting any better. He rubbed a hand up and down Dean's arm comfortingly, hoping to get him to look up, but Dean's eyes were unfocused and he continued to shake, his teeth chattering.

Sam never moved from his source of research and his brother, but still, no change for the better in either one.

Shifting closer to Dean, Sam took on hand away from his laptop and rested it n Dean's head, pushing back hair from his forehead. It wouldn't help with pain of course but at least Dean would know that he was not alone. And sure enough, Dean's small whimpers died down somewhat, comforted in the presence of Sammy.

After a while Sam noticed Dean's eyes started to close. Sam leaned over and place his lip on Dean's temple. "I'll be here when you wake up." He promised as he pulled back. Dean was sleep before long.


	9. The witch's curse Part Two

"You still with me?" Sam asked desperately, his fingers unknowingly gripped Dean's thigh, his entire focus on getting Dean to breath normally. Dean had woken up suddenly, his coughing spam was much worse than before. Dean didn't answer his brother, all he could do was just lightly reached over to softly grab Sam's shaking hand, hands that were still holding onto his brother. Gently Dean had their fingers interlink. Delicately, like he was afraid of making Sam upset.

He didn't want Sam to worry, not over him…Semi-conscious and barely breathing, yet the first and only thing he focused on was Sam. Same as always.

Unexpectedly, a wave of unsteadiness overwhelmed him, leaving him thankful he was lying on his bed already. Sam stayed in his position by Dean's side, waiting for him to speak. Clearing his throat, Dean let out a throaty "I feel like a puked a lung out but it gets better once the cough stops." Dean tried to assured Sam, but they both knew he wasn't getting better.

Dean closed his eyes until the dizziness passed, resisting the urge to vomit for the third time in that hour. "Do you think you're gonna be sick?" Sam voice sounded close to breaking, something that was never a good sign in Dean's mind. Whenever Sammy was upset, he wanted to comfort him, protect him, not lay here like a dying man. Dean groan angrily. If he survived this, he was going to dig up that witch's bone and burn them _again_. Just for making Sam upset.

Sam tried to keep under control for his brother, tried not to wince in sympathy when Dean let out a pain-filled moan, but Dean being in pain never was something Sam could be or act indifferent to. Dean was shaken, and Sam knew this. There weren't many times Dean was thrown into a situation that he had no earthly idea how to get out of.

Dean shook his head at Sam's question, something he quickly realized was a mistake because he head now felt like his head would implode. Sam rested a hand on Dean's shoulder, his grip firm but still gentle enough. Sam leaned forward to get a better look of Dean's face, mentally taking note to all his symptoms.

Sweat was now plastering his hair to his forehead. Sam could feel the cold clammy skin when he grabbed his brother's hand. Every minute that passed, Sam was sure Dean was getting worse, yet he said nothing to Sammy, didn't want to worry him. Sam placed himself further up on the edge of the bed, like a protective bodyguard. "You okay?" Sam whispered, still holding the towel by Dean. Dean let out another cough before muttering "Been better." Sam took in a breath and chewed on his lip, obviously distressed for Dean. The sooner he found Dean a cure the better.

Sam took note to the dark circle now showed under Dean's eyes, there was fresh blood that was stained his lips from the recent attack on Dean's lungs. The coughs were taking the life out of him, each gasp was like a punch in the gut. Sam took the wet washcloth from the bowl and tenderly started wiping away the redness away from Dean's face. Dean never moved from his position on lying on his side. He was panting now, his breathing was quick, like he wasn't getting enough air. Sam was about to see what was wrong when Dean suddenly reached out and grab Sam's arm, still gasping. That's when Sam understood. He couldn't breathe. His brother couldn't breathe.

Thinking quickly, Sam cupped Dean's face. His brother offered no resistance when Sam pulled him closer and pressed his brother's head against his chest. "Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that." Dean was still gasping, trying to suck in as much air as his body would allow. But nothing would happened, his vision was fading. all he could head was chant of soothing words.

"Breathe Dean." Sam soothed, running his fingers through his brother's short hair, resting his chin on the top of Dean's head. "C'mon Dean. It's okay, everything will be okay. All you have to do is breath. Just breathe. Breathe for me, okay?"

For Sam? He would do anything.

Gulping in fresh air, Dean clung to Sam's shirt, his fingers held renewed strength in keeping the air in his lungs. His panic died down some and he was able to distinguish where he was again. Slowly, his eyes fluttered open. Letting out a relieved sigh for his breathing ability. A hand lifted his chin up, the blurry image of long brown hair and a worried face cleared up to reveal Sammy.

"Thanks." Dean exhaled, putting what little strength he had into giving Sam one of his true smiles. The smile that said _I love you it's okay I'm so sorry this has happened I'm not going to leave you _all with one gesture. The smile had brought a relieved grin upon his little brother's lips.

Sam reached out smooth away Dean's sweaty hair from his face, caressing his cheek. Dean breathed shakily. He leaned into the touch, enjoying the warmth, the presence of his brother. When Dean laid his head peacefully onto Sam's lap, Sam started to massage the back of Dean's neck, relaxing him as the pain started to subside somewhat. Dean gave a small sigh, his fingers finding their way to his brother's knee, relaxing in the fact that he wasn't far away.

This was Sammy. His Sammy. He was all that matter in his world. What they had, no one, not demons or angels would ever understand, nor have they seen such a bond as the Winchester brothers have. Yes, Dean would keep fighting. Not for himself but for Sam. Always for Sam. His brother. His soulmate. His Sammy.

TBC...


	10. The witch's curse Part Three

_Hi! I'm so thankful with all the positive reviews! I can't help it, I love writing hurt Dean and protective Sam, it's my weakness. You all make my day! (HUG!) Without further ado, here's part 3! I hope you like it!_

Sam looked over to the side of the bed Dean rested on. Sometime in the last few minutes Dean had fallen asleep, looking peaceful for the first time in almost two days. His chest rose and fell weakly as he struggled for breath. Sam rubbed Dean's back to help somewhat with easing his brother's troubled breathing. It didn't do much but the wheezing noises fell silently for a few minutes, giving Sam the impression that it was somewhat helpful.

Looking back at his laptop, Sam was about to continue his search when suddenly he froze. He found it. He found the cure. In some long lost book that was in their library, and it was just an incantation. What luck was this?

"Dean! I found it!" Sam turned his head to Dean, joy clear on his face before he noticed.

Dean wasn't breathing.

No.

"No, no no no, Dean!" Sam shouted, moving in front of his brother on the bed, landing on his knees. Sam grabbed his brother's shoulders and shaking him. Dean's head fell forward, landing on Sam's chest, lifeless. Sam grabbed Dean's face, pulling his face so they would be level with each other. "Dean!" But still, no response.

Laying Dean back down, Sam ran his eyes across the book that lay on the side of the bed where he dropped it after seeing Dean. Reaching over to desperately grab it, Sam started chanting the spell out as fast as he could, he spoke the last line and turned back to Dean…but nothing happened. No movement from Dean, no breathing, no anything...

Oh God. The cure wasn't working. Was it even the right cure? Had he messed? "Dean, no please, stay away. Come on buddy, wake up, please, wake up for me!" Sam was screaming now. This wasn't right. Dean wasn't supposed to go, not without him.

Sam pulled Dean close, so the first thing he would see when he open his eyes was Sam. "Dean, come back." Sam begged brokenly. "Please, I can't do this alone, I don't want to. Dean I need you. Please come home."

But nothing happened. Sam was alone.

"Please wake up!" Sam begged, whatever had held him together before had gone, leaving him desperate to simply breathe.

Without Dean he had nothing left. Without him, it was like he was walking a thin line without a safety net. Dean was always there to protect him, accept him, love him…no…no he would not accept nor live in a world where there was no Dean. They were brothers. _Brothers_. No bond could be stronger than that. Having a brother meant that no matter how hard things got, no matter how much they may annoy the other, that bond would always be there, still as strong as ever. Sam wasn't ready to give that up. He would never be ready. If Dean was truly gone, well, he would go right after him. They were soulmates. When they died, they would find the other right next to them, just like how it was in life.

And just like how he reacted in life, Dean would do anything to help his brother. With a sobbing Sam clinging to his prone body, Dean suddenly opened his eyes, gasping for breath.

Sam looked at him for a long moment. Then...quicker than he had ever moved in his life, Sam took Dean into a tight hold, ignoring the fact he was crying, ignoring how he felt not even a minute ago like his whole universe had been blown apart, just focusing on Dean. Always Dean. "Sammy…" First thing Dean said, using what little strength he had to hold Sam just as desperately.

Sam hands were on quickly his face, cupping Dean's chin and holding his head high to examine him. Sam gave a smile but Dean had a feeling it was mainly to hide his tears. One of Sam hands reached out to settle on Dean's chest, holding his brother still. "You're okay." Sam breathed, looking at Dean like he was the best, most wonderful sight he had ever seen. Dean reached his hand over to hold onto Sam's wrist, his smile as big as his brothers. "Course I'm okay." Dean said, giving a frail grin. "It's a big brother thing." He added, pleased with the smile it brought upon Sam's face.

He buried his face in Dean's chest, letting his tears overcome him. Dean wrapped him arms around him, shushing him gently. Promises left Dean's lips. Promises like _I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm okay now. Please don't be sad Sammy. I've got you. I love you. _Dean fought death to come back to his brother, as long as he could help it, Sam was never going to be alone.

Sam raised his head to look at his brother. His eyes red with tears. "Don't _ever _do that again." He practically growled.

Dean raise his eyebrows, amused. "You mean almost die?"

"Exactly. Never die on me again, got it?"

"That is one of my new year's resolutions, so yeah, I'll try to keep it."

Falling back on the bed, Sam placed his head lightly on Dean's collarbone. Wrapping his arms around Dean like a child, he scooted closer to him, making it psychically incapable of getting any closer. Not that either brother had a problem with the closeness. It was exactly what they needed. Dean did the same. There was no way Sam was letting Dean out of his sight, probably for a month.

Later that night, they both stayed in the same bed, Dean had put his head on Sam's shoulder and had swung an arm around Sam's waist, Dean was breathing softly, leaning into Sam's neck. Even this closeness wasn't enough for Sam because he simply pulled Dean in closer after a few minutes.

"Dean?" Sam whispered, sensing Dean wasn't asleep yet.

"Hm?"

"When the time is right, when we have no demons or angels bent on the apocalypse…Can we retire?"

Surprised by this random thought, Dean looked at his brother but there was no joke his Sam's eyes. Dean was silent, lost in his thought over the possibility. Quit hunting? It was a subject that they have talked about, more so than usual in the last few months. Yes, hunting was all he knew, and he couldn't see himself doing really anything else but...did he really want to continue this lifestyle? A lifestyle that would end with him losing his brother? No…no this idea was starting to sound more and more like a reality...

"…That…doesn't sound like a bad idea." Dean gave Sam his smile and Sam knew that for now everything was okay.


	11. April 1st

_I'm _so_ sorry about the super short chapter! College has taken over much of my life at this point in time. I'll try to update soon! Thank you all again for the wonderful reviews! You are amazing!_

Oh yeah, he was going to kill his brother.

No joke.

Sam was so _dead._

Dean knew it was partly his fault, come one, how did he _not_ think of the fact that today was April's Fool's Day? True, they didn't really do pranks on this particular day, but with the near death experience with the witch, Dean guessed Sam wanted to get his brother's mind of it. That thought was nice...

But _this_ was too far.

The Impala, his _baby, _was pink. The color completely _covered_ the car, not one inch of his baby was spared from this barbarous punishment. God help Sam if this wasn't washable...Dean fell down on his knees in front of his car with an expression similar to someone who just watched a loved one die.

Thankfully, Dean was a big brother, and big brothers have a habit of planning ahead...

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME DEAN?"

Sam didn't know how long he stood there in his room, fuming over this evil deed. It was close to making Sam sick with the view of the One Direction and Justin Bieber posters taped on almost every inch of his wall. And placed in the pillow of Sam's bed was the note _Samantha, I figured this was what you meant when you said you didn't want the kitty poster. -Love Dean. _...and Sam smiled in glee. Only ten in the morning and two pranks in? Oh this was going to be a good day for the Winchesters.


	12. Pre-Chapter One

_So I had a request to further develop exactly how the boys come to this "soulmate" stage in their platonic relationship status. I hope this is what you wanted! :D I hope you all like it!_

_Pre-chapter 1_

This whole soulmate thing was different for Dean to wrap his mind around. Well, his brother wanted to do this, so _of course_ he was going to try, but this was just so...different. But he couldn't complain, because it was actually kinda...nice...

Oh God, this is the ultimate chick-flick moment.

When it first started, he didn't know what to make of it. It had been in between hunts. Sam had been crying, Dean didn't know why until through Sam's broken voice, he tried to explain.

"I need- _want- _to do things for you, just like what you've been doing all my life. And I want you to _feel_ how much I love you, instead of just knowing it.

What was Dean to say? After finding a teary eyed Sam in their bunker, he asked what was wrong, and to suddenly find out it was because Sammy wanted to act more like soulmates? This was new.

Dean nodded slowly, kneeling down in front of his brother who was still sitting on the chair, Sam's head bowed, still sniffling. Dean rested his hand on Sam's knee. "It's okay," Dean started. "Sammy. It's going to be okay." But Sam interrupted.

"No, it's not okay," Sam said, shaking his head desperately and looking into Dean's eyes. He leaned forward and cupped Dean's face in both his hands tenderly but desperately. "I love you. And I've lost you so many times…too many." Here Sam's voice broke, a shuttering gasp escaped him. Dean gently gripped Sammy's knee with both hands on either side, waiting. Sam let out a shaky breath and moved his hands away from Dean's face and placed them on Dean's hands that were still on Sam's knee. Sam continued.

"I've done so many bad things, and no matter how hard I try, I always ended up hurting you, the one person I want to protect. The main reason I didn't look for you in Purgatory was because I was afraid I wouldn't find you. Or I'd find you and it'd be too late. And it would feel like losing you all over again. And not looking was one of the worst thing I've ever done, and _I _was the one whostarted the apocalypse."

Dean almost smiled at Sam's small attempt at making a joke but he saw how heartbroken Sam was. He pulled Sam into his arms, feeling the salty smell of his brother's tear that stained his brother's cheeks, Sam's hands clutching the back of his shirt like he was terrified that letting go would mean losing Dean. "Please, I don't want to lose you, please don't make me lose you. I can't-I won't-" Sam trailed off, his sobs getting the best of him.

"I'm so sorry Sammy." Dean soothed. He would do whatever Sam wanted, _whatever_ he wanted, he meant it. Screw not having chick flick moments, Sam needed him to be strong right now. He needed Dean to be _Dean_. "I'm so sorry. You're okay. We're okay."

Dean waited until Sam's breathing slowed down to a normal level before he said "You know I forgave you for all the messed up stuff that happened before, right?" Dean asked, needing Sam to understand him.

Sam looked up at him, wanting to believe it but unsure.

"We're past that. I'm not going to drag our old life into the one we got now. It doesn't matter, Sammy. It doesn't." He insist when Sam looked at him with shame and guilt. "All that matters is who you are now. I trust you. I love you."

Sam's eyes filled with new tears.

"I love you Sammy." Dean grabs a fistful of Sam's shirt and pulls him into a hug. Sam wraps his big arms tight around his brother and closes his eyes.

soon after, Dean could feel Sam loosen up and Dean knew Sam was falling asleep. As carefully as he could, Dean gently wrapped and arm around Sam's waist and pulled him up, talking him back to his room.

After some carefully maneuvering, Dean got them both safely into Sam's room. Tacking him in comfortingly, Dean turned to leave when Sam's hand shot up and grabbed his brother's wrist. "Stay?" Sam whispered tiredly. "Please?"

There was no way Dean could say no.

Next moment Dean was pressed right up close to Sam, so that they were laying back-to-chest. He wrapped an arm firmly around Sam's waist and Dean could honestly feel Sam's sigh of contentment at the contact. Dean couldn't help but let out a content sigh as well. Placing his hands on above Dean's heart, Sam soon fell asleep.

Having a soulmate…huh. It feels pretty good.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

The hugging had been…different. Usually it happened due to near death experiences, so this whole just doing it because they _wanted _to…well…it was just...different. it was the only word Dean knew how to describe it.

It was the day after they had their talk and the first thing Sam had done in the morning was find Dean and pull him into an embrace.

It took about a minute for Dean to fully relax into the hug, for the tension to leave his body. And the whole time Sam made sure he kept a tight hold of Dean, wanting to make this last as long as possible. He was so absurdly scared that Dean would back off or and get all awkward and say to Sam that he didn't want this.

But when Dean finally relaxed, Sam felt himself falling easily the embrace, leaning his head on Dean's shoulder and letting his brother be in control of the hug. Dean started nervously running his hands soothingly up and down Sam's back, his movements unsure, until his actions became more affectionate and he ran his fingers through Sam's hair.

Dean could actually feel the tension leave his own body as he started breathing peacefully, in and out. This felt _so_ comfortable, like he could like this all the time, like they couldn't get close enough.

Okay, hugs were absolutely going on the Do-More-Of list.

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Hand holding?...no. No. No way. Uh uh. Nope. Nein. Just-NO.

Well that's what Dean _originally_ thought.

Sam, however, was not really the kind of person to say no to something unless he tried it first. So it was going to happen sooner or later, Dean was sure of it. He just wasn't sure of when it would happen.

He didn't need to wait long.

It was right after a long and draining hunt. Dean collapsed on their couch, with the intention to never moving for the next week. He rested his neck and felt his head hang off the back of the sofa, his eyes closed. He felt the seat next to him shift, knowing that Sam was sitting nearby. Dean was near sleep when he felt a warm hand slip into his own, sliding their fingers so that they intertwined.

It wasn't a surprise to open his eyes and see Sam's fingers tangled into Dean's. Raising his head up, Dean's curious eyes rested on Sam's nervous ones. Unsure how Dean would react. They kept the other's gaze for a moment, before Dean squeezed his hand and gave Sam a smile, letting him know this was okay. Better than okay.

Sam's beam was worth any manly prize Dean would lose after this.

Yes, this was different, and yes, this was new, but this felt so _right. _It just did, there were no words for how this new step into their relationship made them feel so much closer than they had ever felt before.

And Dean didn't mind it at all.

_I JUST REALLY LOVE THESE PLATONIC SOULMATES, I CAN'T GET ENOUGH_

_Have a wonderful day! *hug*_


	13. The Angels Fell

"I was wondering if you could do a one-shot based off 8x23 where sam talks about his greatest sin, that scene broke my heart and I would love (if you wouldn't mind) some brotherly comforting." _I hope I didn't disappoint you! _

"They're falling…" Dean repeated, watching in horror as the sky was full of heaven's angels crashing to the ground. How did this happen? Cas needed to be here, Dean needed Cas to help Sam. "Sammy-" Dean turned to his brother, but only to find Sam's head hung low, his body slumped against the Impala…and he wasn't moving.

"No..." Dean whispered in dismay before violently grabbing Sam's face, Dean rolls his brother's limp head so he can see Sam's, the face he knows better than his own. "Sam?! Sammy, please open your eyes, please!" But nothing happens. No loving reassurance that he was fine, no weak joke about personal space. Just...nothing. Just the heaviness of the head he has cradled in his hands. The eyes he would recognize anywhere were closed. "No..." Dean growled out, fisting his hand on Sam's shirt and shaking him, needing him to move, to do anything but not this. With his other hand Dean held the back of Sam's neck, pleading with him.

"You can't go!" Dean nearly sobs as he gets no response from Sam, as his Sammy stays too silent, too still. No…no he can't go, not with him. Dean can't accept it. He won't.  
"You don't get to go, not without me!" Because one brother leaving the other to live a life without him? Unacceptable. Together or not at all, dean would not accept it any other way. "I'm not letting you go!" Dean vows, his voice hoarse. Swearing at his brother's lack of movement, Dean moves his hand away from Sam's shirt to place it gently on Sam's neck, not caring that he was begging. "Please_..." please don't leave me. Please stay. Please stay in the god awful world with me because I can't lose you again. I need you Sammy…I love you._

Sam suddenly starts moving from under Dean's possessive hold, suddenly arching his back from the ground. Gasping for breath, he blindly reaches out, needing Dean. Needing to know he was safe.

Dean grabs Sam's arm and pulls him up, practically shoving Sam towards his chest. He clings to his little brother like a lifeline, wanting, wishing he could hold on to him forever. Sam wheezes but he's breathing and for right now that's good enough. Dean could feel Sam's fingers tangle themselves into Dean's shirt. The hold was weak but it was proof Sam was alive.

Pulling his brother away from his chest so that he could look at him, Dean slips his hand to the side of Sam's neck, and gives a gentle squeeze, running his thumb across his brother's tear stained cheek. "Everything is going to be okay Sammy. I promise." Dean couldn't (and wouldn't) stop himself from placing a thankful kiss on his Sammy's forehead, thanking God and whoever for not taking his baby brother way from him.

Sam's pain filled eyes looked at his brother, not with doubt, but pure, absolute trust. Dean is here. Dean is safe. That was all Sam needed. And with that thought in mind, Sam felt himself fall into the black.

_I'm really sorry it's so short. I hope you all have a wonderful day! *kiss*_


	14. Rough Night

_Hello everyone! I'm ever so grateful for all the lovely reviews, honestly, they motivate me to write more! You all are the best!_

Sam and Dean agreed that hospitals sucked. But right now, Sam couldn't remember it being this bad over something so small.

Okay yeah, maybe being thrown headfirst by a vengeful, pissed-off spirit right into a very hard, very _study_ wooden shed wasn't the best for his body. That could be bad for most people, but Sam wasn't "most people"…Then again, "most people" didn't have a protective big brother like Sam did.

He wasn't that seriously hurt, he knew that. He had told the doctors and Dean repeatedly that he felt fine, but they all insisted he stay the night just to be sure, and there was no way Dean would take Sam home from the doctors unless he was sure his little brother was okay. The blood made the injury look worse than it really was, but when it comes to big brothers, the injured little brothers had no say as to what they wanted.

After glowering at the doctors for a good half hour, Dean felt that they were actually sure of how to properly take care of his brother. Dean stayed by his brother, never leaving his side by the bed. He sat on the edge, his hip by Sam's knee. "Sammy, are you _sure_ you don't need anything?" Dean asked, his hands resting gently on Sam's leg, by his knee. Physical comfort now became a big thing for both brothers, it became a sign of worry, love, concern, comfort, or just a simple code for "I love you." And Sam loved it.

Sam smiled comfortingly, moving his own hands to rest on his brother's. "I'm sure." Sam promised. "But seriously Dean, I'm good."

"So you're saying that having your head almost cracked open is nothing?" Dean drawled.

"It was not." Sam pouted, resisting the powerful urge to cross his arms. "The stupid ghost threw me into a shed, it was _nothing_." Sam emphasized the last word.

Dean raised his eyebrows skeptically. "And if it was me who was thrown, you would just leave me alone, right?"

Sam opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. Damn.

Dean smirked, knowing he won this argument.

"Come on," Dean said gently, trying to act like he wasn't still worried over his brother's condition. "We'll leave the moment the docs give the okay, promise."

Sam sighed. He knew Dean was telling the truth, but Sam didn't want to be here. Yeah, his head did feel like it was going to break in half, but it wasn't _that_ bad.

Dean reached his hand over to ruffle Sam's hair playfully. "Come on, it won't be that bad. We'll leave before ten in the morning, I promise." Dean kept his hand on the top of Sam's head, caressing his hairline comfortingly. Sam leaned into the touch, sighing happily and his brother's contact. Sam had to fight the urge to purr. Black and blue bruises had formed over Sam's cheeks and forehead. Dean hid his growl of pleasure of being able to destroy the bitch that did this to Sam. It didn't matter if she had near killed him or gave him a splinter, _no one_ hurts Sammy.

"Mr. Hamill?"

The brothers turn in sync to the sound of the older doctor who has been helping Sam.

"I just wanted to say that you are going to be fine." Dean didn't bother to hide his sigh of relief. "And that we are going to keep you overnight." Nothing either brother didn't know. "I also wanted to say visiting hours are over." He said it gently, but the simple words leave Sam and Dean with panicked looks.

The doctor did not notice the similar looks on each brother's face, and he left the room to see other patients.

Okay, so to anyone else, the situation would seem obvious. Dean would leave and go to the bunker, and pick Sam up in the morning. Simple. And yet it was not. The brothers hadn't slept separate in months. It seemed like they had been doing this for years and years, and to stop, even for a day, seemed almost impossible. Each brother looked at the other, at a loss of what to say.

Sam was the first to speak. "So…um, I guess-is there any way you could get another bed in here?" Sam knew he sounded five all over again, begging for his big brother to stay in his bed, to be near him before he could go to sleep since he was always unable to rest without his brother, but he didn't care how he sounded. He didn't want Dean to be far.

Dean shook his head. "No, they don't allow visitors to stay in another bed unless the patient is in serious condition or something." Dean knew from experience, and so did Sam, even though Sam was hoping for another opinion.

Sam nodded slowly, unsure. "Okay. So you'll go home, and pick me up-" He was swiftly interrupted.

"No I'm staying." Dean's tone left no room for disagreeing.

"No, it's okay, I'm fine-"

Dean smiled softly. "You're not getting rid of me that easily little brother."

Sam didn't even try to hide his happiness. Dean leaned down to place a feather-light kiss to Sam's forehead. "Good night little brother."

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPSPNSPNSPN

Sam couldn't sleep. _Literally_ couldn't. But Sam knew exactly what the matter was. Soon after they started acting like soulmates, they started sleeping in the same bed. Dean had been unsure of the thought, since this would forever end his "manly" stance forever. But Sam wanted it, and quickly Dean allowed it, what he did not expect was that he himself would love it as much as Sam did.

Without the feeling of resting his head on Dean's chest or being able to wrap his arms around Dean's waist or feeling loving, familiar hands running fondly through his hair, Sam was just miserable. Yes, this would be weird to anyone else who heard of two grown up brothers sleeping in the same bed but this _wasn't_ weird. This was _special_. There was no other word for it. It just was. Their bond made it so. Sam wouldn't have it another way.

It was hard to turn with the IV sticking in his arm. Sam was used to lying on his side, with Dean pressed against him, holding him, keeping him sane. Sam gave an annoyed huff and scooted himself up a bit against the headboard of the bed. He hated this. He hated being here. Even though Sam knew Dean wasn't far, it wasn't the same. He wanted his brother.

"Sammy?" Came a quiet voice that Sam would know even if he was semi-conscious.

Seeing his brother standing by the doorway, Sam found himself unable to take his eyes away, couldn't look away from the most precious thing, like he was afraid that Dean could slip past his fingers if he moved away.

Dean said nothing, he just stood there at the doorway with new found concern over Sam's expression. He had originally come in the room after slipping past some nurses to see how Sammy was doing, but Sam's miserable face made him stop in his tracks.

"Sammy?" Dean questioned worriedly. "Are you feeling worse? Do you want me to call the doc-?"

Sam shook his head urgently. _Don't leave, Dean. _"No! Please just-just stay? Please?" Sam couldn't stand it. He needed his brother.

Instantly, concern was on Dean's face. Rushing over, Dean took the empty seat next to Sam's bed and put his hand on Sam's forehead. "Do you feel worse?"

"No I'm the same but- can you-I mean-" Sam struggled to find the right words. But thankfully for him, Dean understood. Dean silently leaned over his brother, pressing his lips to his Sammy's forehead. Sam closed his eyes shut at the touch. Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, he looked up to his brother. "I'll stay right here. Promise." Dean vowed softly.

Neither one cared about how the nurses would react to knowing Dean broke their "no visitors allowed" rule. Sam sighed in relief at the warmth of the hand that was gently gripping his own. Before falling asleep, he was sure he heard Dean humming.

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Sam was awakened by the sounds of hushed voices. One of them was definitely his brother's voice. Groggily opening his eyes, he saw Dean with his arms crossed over his chest, listening intently to whatever Sam's doctor was saying. Noticing Sam move from his sleeping position, Dean snapped head up, looking away from the doctor and towards Sam, leaving the doctor in the middle of speaking to make his way back to his proper place by his brother.

"How you feeling kiddo?" Dean asked placing his hand over Sam's, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over Sammy's knuckles.

Sam grinned at Dean. "Better now." He said honestly, not taking his eyes away from his older sibling.

The doctor seemed indifferently to Dean's interruption and slowly left the brothers to their privacy.

"So I'm assuming I have no brain damage?" Sam asked in mock concern.

"Well that's debatable, but you're as good as you'll get." Dean shrugged. Sam gave Dean a good-natured shove, laughing at the jibe. Dean beamed, his eyes betrayed his emotions: relief, tenderness, love. Sam felt all of them. "Come on little brother, let's go home."

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam felt warm, he felt like his whole body was covered in the source of this wondeful warmth. Sam could hear a soft, steady rhythm in his ear, like he was listening to someone else's heartbeat, and he was almost sure that he could feel a hand running slowly through his hair. He opened his eyes and gave a sleepy smile at the person he was with. His arm was wrapped around Dean's waist, with his head resting gently on Dean's chest, enjoying this comfort from his big brother.

Sam scooted to his side, gently pulling Dean with his arm to have his big brother do the same so they both would be more comfortable. Sam reached out for Dean so that he could pull him closer before going back to lying on his chest. Eventually they loved so that their bodies were lying on their sides, Sam's chest against Dean's back. Sam wrapped an arm firmly around Dean's waist and pulling the blankets around the two of them. His face was close to Dean to be able to nuzzle into the back of Dean's neck, enjoying the feeling of Dean's soft hair brushing against his face.

Sam was aware of how comfortable it felt to be lying in bed like this with Dean so close to him, holding his older brother in his arms.

Man, would it ever be hard to explain to anyone else how Sam would love to always sleep by Dean's side every night, but he didn't care. As cheesy as it sounded, as long as Sam had Dean and vise versa, they didn't care about what people thought. They were happy, they were going to put that above everything else.

"Night little brother..." Dean mumbled, placing a soft kiss on Sam's temple and resting his hand gently but firmly over Sam's fingers, intertwining them. And soon both fell asleep.

_*jumps around happily* Supernatural tonight! So excited! :D I wish you all a lovely rest of the day! *hug*_


	15. Birthday Boy

_I'm REALLY sorry this is so short, but I only just realized what day it was. Dean Winchester would be so disappointed in me. *lowers head in shame*_

"I'm just saying that I am a bit sceptic ever since the new ones with young 'Ani'." Sam say, shuttering in mock disgust over saying the dreadful name. He looked back into their binoculars, still searching for any sign of a spirit haunting the abandoned school. They hadn't been there long. Sam couldn't say how they had gotten from talking about the hunt to the newest Star Wars film that was coming out, but, here they were.

"Yeah but now they know what the fans want!" Dean answers his brother eagerly. "They wouldn't mess up again that bad…right?" He added the last word uncertainly, but still sure that the films would be better then before…hopefully.

"I think it's best if we don't get out hopes up, that's all." Sam said reasonably, in a tone close to a parent trying to calm their child down.

"But…Lightsabers! Force! Leia!" Dean randomly pointed out the best things in Star Wars, hoping to get through to his brother.

"Jar…Jar." Sam drawled not even looking at his brother, knowing the simple words would win the argument.

Dean spat back the horrible name angrily. "Jar Jar…"

Sam hid his grin from his brother.

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The brothers got home after midnight, the hunt a success but not painless.

Sam winced in sympathy as Dean groaned while cradling his wrist. Sitting on the edge of Dean's bed, Sam grabbed the first aid kit from on his brother's nightstand. "It's not broken but it'll hurt for a day or two." Sam offered as he gently wrapped his brother's wrist.

Dean shrugged at the news. "'Fraid of that…" He mumbled. Sam let his fingers linger on his brother's wrist, absentmindedly stroking the fingers that belonged to his big brother. Sam brought the fingers up to his lips, placing a tender kiss on the bruised fingers. "You okay?" Sam asked, knowing the answer but needing to hear it anyway.

Dean smiled softly, and nodded at his brother's question. Dean resisted the powerful urge to pull his brother into a fierce hug and never let him go, he loved his Sammy with his whole heart, and he knew that feeling would never go away.

"Hey, got ya something." Dean said suddenly, bending down to reach a hidden object from underneath his bed. Sam's eyes widen in surprise when Dean placed a poorly wrapped object on his knee. "Wha…"

"Happy birthday Sammy." Dean said softly, a hint of red on his cheeks. He and Sammy hadn't really done birthday gifts for a while. But they hardly ever did birthdays anymore. Neither knew exactly they stopped, but they did. That was going to change from now on though. Throughout the years they would find something that they knew the other would love, give it as a small gift. They loved watching the other's face when they opened the random present. The way their eyes lit up. The smile that would happen was the best way of showing that they loved it.

Shock was still on Sam's face when his bright smile arrived on his face and he reached over to pull Dean into a loving embrace.

"You didn't even open it yet." Dean laughed before returning the hug, tightening his hold on his most valuable gift.

Sam said nothing, but he did pull Dean closer.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Both brother enjoyed Dean's gift that night, Sam wasted no time to rush over to their TV and start all three of the original Star Wars trilogy on DVD. It was clearly a present that would forever be appreciated. Later that night as they were half way through The Empire Strikes Back, Sam felt Dean's head come to rest on his shoulder, a soft snore escaping his lips. Sam let out a small laugh and moved his head so that his cheek rested on Dean's head. "Love you big brother." Sam whispered.

"Love you little brother." Came a tired sigh.

Sam's smile grew even bigger.

_I hope you enjoyed it! I hope you have a lovely day!_


	16. The Aftermath

_WARNING: MAJOR SPILERS TO SEASON 10, EPISODE 21. DON'T READ UNLESS YOU'VE WATCHED IT! I don't want to ruin it for anyone!_

_I'm really nervous about this chapter. I hope I don't make the death of the character we've lost seem pointless. I love that character so much, so I am really in suspense that I do gives the character justice. Well, without further ado, here's chapter 16! I hope you enjoy!_

She had been gone three days.

And it still felt like only moments ago they had seen her, alive, smiling and full of life. She was such a gift on their lives...And now…

Both brother were in denial. She couldn't be gone. She was their little sister, she was part of their family, just like Cas.

But she was gone.

Dean hardly had spoken a word in the past three days. While both brothers were grieving, Sam knew Dean was suffering the most. He blamed himself, if he didn't have the Mark, Charlie would still be alive. Charlie would be _alive_. It was his fault, his stupidity that got her killed, and now, because of him, they had lost their little sister.

But as much as he blamed himself, he blamed Rowena the most. The Mark demanded blood and Dean was having a hard time finding a reason not to find her and slit her throat. He wanted her _dead_. And he didn't see why he couldn't do just that.

"It's getting worse, isn't it?"

Dean snapped his head from the laptop he was aimlessly researching on to see his brother, looking at him with an empathetic gaze. Dean said nothing at first as he stayed seated on his bed. Sam hadn't spoken much in the past few days, and Dean saw no point in trying to force him to talk.

He wanted to shrug, mutter out the insincere "I'm fine" card, but Dean couldn't lie to his bother. "It's stronger now…" Dean confessed. Sam nodded in understanding…It was logical after what happened to…Sam couldn't even think her name without feeling the tears coming. He missed her. God, he missed her so much. He knew Dean was blaming himself, and Sam wanted with his whole being to save Dean from that.

"I don't see how you can help me Sammy…" Dean muttered, apparently reading Sam's mind. "I don't see how anything can."

And Sam hated that. Hated that Dean was quick to allow himself to be cursed like this if it meant not hurting anyone else. His eyesight now growing blurrier, Sam wanted to shout, scream to anyone he could find that this was not Dean's fault, but he remained silent as he watched his brother's walls that he had built against Sam for the last few days slowly come crumbling down.

The next words were more of a whisper. "I don't want to die, but I don't see how I can live like this Sammy…"

Sam couldn't handle it. Dean was so _good_. So _valuable_. So much so that Sam wanted to scream from the rooftops until Dean believed that he was priceless, irreplaceable, and show that Sam would do anything for him. He _needed_ Dean to see this.

Sam bent down slightly to make eye contact with his brother who still laid on the bed. Sam reached out to place a study hand on his brother's shoulder. "Dean look at me! The Mark is not your fault-"

"Not just the Mark, Sam. Me!" Dean pushed Sam's hands off him, but then grabbed them in his own hands, gripping them like a lifeline. Communicating through their connection, needing Sam to understand. "I get people hurt, or worse. I've gotten _you_ killed." Here Dean's voice gave the barest hint of breaking. No one would have noticed it, but Sam did. He spent years with his brother and could tell what he was feeling by the tone of his voice and the micro expressions on his face.

"And I spend every day wishing that I could take back all my mistakes, get rid of all the pain I've caused. People have died all because of me, and I can't have you be one of them. I _won't_ let that happen Sammy. I _won't_ hurt you again. I _can't_ hurt you anymore." Just the thought of losing the most precious thing in his life made his eyes water, his heart feeling like it would break. "We've lost Charlie, I can't lose you too. I won't lose you too." He let go of Sam's hand, limply, like he had no more energy left. And Sam felt his heart crack.

Sam plopped down on the bed, landing next to his brother's legs, needing to be near him. But he needed more than _just_ being near him. Sam reached out to place his hold on Dean's ankle, not wanting to be even an inch away from him. Their connection made Sam feel alive. Having someone like Dean in his life made him feel like there was an actual purpose on earth for him. Life without his brother would be worse than all the years he spent in the Cage.

"Sammy." Dean breathed. Sam continued his slightly possessive hold at his brother's whisper. How was Dean able to show so much love and protection in just one word? Sam didn't know, but he knew he loved him so much for it. Dean was so loving, so kind, and he had no idea how treasured he is, how needed he is. Not just to Sam, but to everyone he saved. He is a hero and Sam is going to show him that whenever he can, because Dean is too important to not know how much he has effected people's lives for the better. Especially him.

"You have taken care of me my entire life. You raised me. Not dad. Not even Bobby. _You_. It was always you. You are my brother, father, best friend, and _soulmate_. You're mine. And I'm yours." The last words were so similar to what Dean had told him years ago.

Dean licked his lips before pressing them firmly together, so many drills and years of training from their dad made him feel that showing emotion was weakness, was a disappointment to his family, but only for himself. Never Sammy. Sam was the one and only exception to all his and Dad's rules.

"You've always protected me, carried me when I couldn't…please, let me do it now. It's my turn to take care of you." Sam pulled Dean's hand to his chest, pressing it to him chest so that he could feel his heartbeat. As Sam stroked Dean's knuckles softly with his thumb, Dean raised his eyes to his little brother, and could see nothing but love and care for him. "I meant what I said when I told you I couldn't lose you. I _can't_. I don't want to do this without you."

What did Sam mean by that? That he couldn't hunt without Dean? That he could live without Dean? He guessed Sam was talking about the latter, and it scared him. He didn't want to lose Sammy, Sam should be able to live out his life, go away, get married, a husband and become a lawyer, a father and grandfather-

But that's not what Sam wanted. No, at least, not anymore. Sam told dean he wanted this as his life now, he loved it, and this life meant being with Dean, and that's all he wanted. To be with his brother. And God help him, Dean didn't want Sam to go. He wanted his brother here, with him. People could call him selfish, call him a freak, call him a terrified little boy, but Dean didn't care anymore, he just wanted his brother.

They would never forget Charlie, they would always love her. She was so special, she was the little sister they always wanted. They would never stop loving her. But, just for right now, they needed to focus on how to save Dean. That's all Sam could think of.

"We will find a way to get the Mark off you, I promise." Sam's tone held no doubt, no lies. He would do whatever it took to protect his brother.

The death grip Dean's teeth had on his bottom lip to keep from tearing up was starting to fail.

God, how did he get blessed with Sam? What did he ever do to deserve him as his soulmate? His little brother brought their intertwined hands up to press a gentle kiss on Dean's knuckles. "I love you." Sam said. The words weren't even needed, Dean could tell just by how Sam looked at him that he loved him.

Dean reached over suddenly and pull Sammy into his arms. Sam seemed to have melted into the hug, wrapping his arms over his brother in desperation. This. This is what made their bond so special. Their love for each other. It was like they were more like equal now than they ever were before.

Dean decided it was the perfect moment to place a soft kiss to his brother's forehead. To remove the lines of anxiety and concern from his face. It was something he'd always done was a way of offering comfort, but also as a way of promising his brother that he was still here, that he wasn't going anywhere without Sam. "I love you Sammy." Dean whispered, pulling Sammy closer.

'I need you. I'm never going to stop needing you." Sam vowed, resting his head against Dean's.

_Same to you little brother._

_*peaks though fingers* I really hope I did this chapter correctly. In minor news, it's my birthday today! I'm 20! I'm so excited but I also can't believe it, it feels so weird, like it's not really happening *shrugs* I hope you all have a lovely day! Love you all! *hug*_


	17. Always There For Each Other Part One

_If you ever write a Weechester chapter this story would be perfect_ _I hope you like it! I actually never have written a Weechester fic but I deeply enjoyed it! Thank you for the prompt! I hope I don't disappoint you!_

Twelve year old Sam waited patiently for his dad and big brother home safe from their hunt. Dean had left him with some food he had made for him in the fridge. Both men had said they would try to be home before twelve that night. The clock hand had just turned to midnight and Sam was worried.

Dad had wanted (more like ordered) Sam to come with him and Dean to hunt a werewolf that night. They had spent a week trying to find it and found out who the poor soul was that was the creature. However, Sam was adamant in staying and studying for a test he said he had tomorrow. The truth was that he honestly just didn't want to go. He hated being with his dad and he _hated_ hunting.

And it didn't help matters that John had forbidden him from going to a camping trip with some friends just because he wanted Dean to show Sam how to shoot with a rifle. Sam knew that his anger towards the situation may be childish, but he wasn't going to allow John to treat him like that. He was go so angry very easily when it came to their dad. Dean joked that it was puberty but Sam knew that Dean would never have been like this. John had trained him to move past his emotions and never think about himself. Something that Dean never wanted Sammy to do. (Dean always wanted Sam to think for himself, to be able to make his own path in life, to not be a disappointment like himself.) Sam was about to lose the battle between him and his father on whether or not he was going when Dean stepped in.

"Dad," Dean started calmly, stepping between the heated argument and standing in front of Sam like a protective mother. "Sammy needs to study for this test, the teacher only just told the class about it today and he has to read almost the whole book." Sam's eyes widen at his brother's rescue, looking from his father to Dean, hopeful. _Please let me stay, please don't make me go. Please listen to Dean, dad. Please. _"Just let him study, it's a two man job anyway, he can come with us next time."

Sam would have pulled Dean into a hug right then and there if he could have. Thank God for Dean. His brother was his amazing big brother, with Dean, Sam felt like there was nothing Dean couldn't do.

Their father looked displeased with Dean defending Sam but he said nothing more on the subject, he only grunted at Dean to hurry up so they could leave while there was still light. Sam was too busy being able to get away from hunting and his dad for a few hours that he didn't notice the tired, worn-out expression on his brother's face.

That had been five hours ago and he hadn't seen them since.

Sam sighed nervously, his patient demeanor failing him as he started to leave his sitting position on the dining room chair to pace around the small kitchen. Sam was so easily angered nowadays, he just wanted to scream and shout at his father for never listening to him, for never letting him make his own choices. His dad never cared about how he felt or what he wanted to do and it made him so fuming. It felt like John and he spent more times in a yelling match then talking like normal human beings. Dean usually had to step in between the two of them and keep things from becoming physical. Dean always looked so worn and exhausted with all the fighting but Sam was too angry to notice most days and when he did he was overcome with guilt at the burden he and John were constantly putting on him.

Worry and remorse plagued his thoughts. Sam shouldn't have lied, he should have just gone on the hunt. Sam looked once again at the clock before he shook his head. No, they were better hunter then him, especially Dean. His big brother was the best hunter around Sam thought with pride. But more importantly, he was the best person Sam had ever known.

But also with the pride lay deep regret. Dean, the best person he knew, was forced to grow up too fast. Going from a child who was obsessed with cars and baseball to having to worry about his alcoholic father and baby brother. He didn't deserve that. Sam never knew of the "normal" life, but Dean had that, if only for four years, and Sam wondered what was worse: Having it and losing it, or never having it at all.

Sam breathed uneasily as he kept turning his head to look at the wall clock, immediately afraid at his choice of staying. He didn't want to be near his dad but he didn't have to put Dean in harm's way. God, he made a mistake, he needed to be with Dean, he should have gone with Dean. He should be out there, having his back like Dean has been doing all his life, and he stayed because he was pissed at their dad? God, how could he be so selfish? Sam's mind warped into overdrive, fear of what could have happened to make them be out so late still. They were the best hunters, better than Pastor Jim, better than Bobby, they should be done by now. What if one was too injured to move without two people aiding? What if they _both_ were hurt? What if-

Sam was snapped out of his worst imaginations when the motel door banged open. Only to reveal an image that stole his breath away. Something that made his heart stop. Something would plague his nightmares for years to come.

John was panting outside the door he had kicked open, nearing doubling over if not for his valuable cargo. He was carrying, bridal style, Sam's too still, too pale, and covered in too much red big brother.

And he didn't seem to be breathing.

"No!"

Sam had no concern for their father's "be quiet" rule for motels, all he could think of was rushing over and pulling his brother out of John's dangerous hold and into his own arms, to protect him, to protect him from their father's crazed hunts, from the monsters that were waiting, from anything. Sam didn't care what it was, he just needed to save Dean.

Sam wasted no time to run over to the two men and place his hand around the nape of Dean's bloodied neck, ignoring his father's panicked eyes that were still looking at his oldest son's pale face. Sam let out a loud sigh of relief at the pulse he felt, tears springing to his eyes. Sam turned his furious eyes to his father. "What the _hell_ did you let happen to him?" Sam growled. It didn't matter that this was his dad he was talking to. John wasn't there to protect Dean and for that he was to blame for the state he was in. _Just like me_.

John was in no mood for this. Pushing past the youngest Winchester, John placed the blood-covered boy on the couch, sliding off his dark jacket.

"Your brother was hurt, he-" Here John faltered. Clearing his throat, John kept his gaze on Dean's still form. "He pushed me out of the way. I didn't see the wolf. He's not bitten but we need to stop the bleeding."

"Who cares of he was bitten?!" Sam yelled furiously, grabbing the first aid kit from their suitcase, setting off to grab some crappy towels in the motel bathroom as well. "Dean is hurt, and you're worried about whether or not he was bitten?!" Sam shoved the first aid in his father's hands before using one of the towels to push against Dean's bleeding side. Dean moaned in pain, his hands weakly pushing against the hands responsible at increasing his agony. Sam paled at the sight of his big brother's blood, but he needed to get the bleeding to stop. But it didn't mean it made Dean's whimpers any easier to hear.

"It's okay Dean." Sam soothed. "It's okay, you're safe now, you're home. It's gonna be okay, I'm going to help you be okay." Dean didn't seem to hear him. He bit down on his bottom lip to keep from screaming in pain, his teeth stabbing down hard enough to draw blood. But still, he did not make a sound.

John reached into his jean pocket and pulled out a whisky flask with one hand, his other one still positioned over the wound. "Hold him down Sam." John ordered, flipping the lid open with his teeth. Sam's eyes widen at the sight, knowing what his father didn't saw aloud. Quickly he looked down at his brother. Dean's eyes were opened slightly now. Tears slid down his eyes and left a wet trail down to his dirty cheeks, against Dean's permission. "Sa-Sammy…" Dean whispered, reaching with his hand to grip Sam's, knowing that more pain was coming. He wanted Sam to be near. Thank God he hadn't been on the hunt with them, what would he do if Sammy got hurt? That could never happened, not while he was still breathing.

Sam looked helplessly at his brother before positioning himself over Dean, his arms holding him down, leaving his wound open for John.

"I'm so sorry Dean." John whispered so lowly that Sam wondered if John knew that he had spoken out loud. Sam let out a small whimper at the knowledge of what was going to happen to insure that the slashes would not infect Dean and make him worse. Bending down his head, Sam placed an affectionate kiss on Dean's forehead before resuming his position, nodding to John to let him know that he was ready.

John poured the alcohol on the wound.

Dean screamed.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam stayed by Dean's side after John had finishing sewing up the injury. John assured Sam that Dean would be fine soon. Sam nodded yet said nothing. John saw it as the closest thing as forgiveness he would get at this point. His boys…they had a bond unlike anything he had seen before. Maybe it was unhealthy, but they were the only things in each other's lives that they needed. John knew, deep down, if Dean ever had to choose to save one of them…he had no doubt it would be Sammy. And he was alright with that. They needed each other, and John would insure that they would never have to be separated. Silently, he left Sam alone with his brother.

Sam gently smoothed Dean's bangs away from his sweaty forehead, caressing the lines on his brow with his thumb. Dean hardly ever let something like this happen, letting himself be taken care of. He had given up everything for John and Sammy, but never allowed himself to be cared for. Sam knew this, and he vowed to do whatever it took to make Dean understand that he was too important to lose.

Sam jumped slightly as Dean let out a painful gas, jerking himself awake. His green eyes popped open and he moved, trying to get up before gasping in agony and instinctively putting his hand over his wound. "What…" Dean muttered confused, looking down at his chest. Pulling up his freshly clean shirt, he saw that his stomach was covered in bandages.

"Lie back down Dean," Sam moved forward and wrapped his fingers around Dean's forearm, gently pushing him back down on the couch. "Please. Before you reopen your stiches." Sam quickly announced, letting out a small laugh of relief at seeing Dean awake. Dean groaned, but allowed himself to rest his back against the couch. Neither brother said anything to the fact that Sam still hadn't let go of Dean's arm. "You okay?" Dean asked suddenly in fear, noting the blood on Sam's shirt. Sam looked down on his bloodied shirt and looked up to his brother anxiously. "It's your blood."

"Oh." Dean breathed a sigh of relief. "Was dad hurt?"

Sam bit back his anger at the fact that Dean was more worried about him than himself. Why did he have to be so self-sacrificing? He was more important then himself. But that was an argument for another time. "Yeah, he's fine, banged up but nothing serious."

Dean nodded. "Good…"

There was a peaceful silence that lingered for a few moment. Both boys breathing peaceably in the presence of each other. Sam clinging to Dean's arm still while Dean wordlessly brought up his other hand to rest in on top of Sam's fingers.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." Sam whispered with tortured eyes, bowing his head in shame. "It was my fault. I-I should have been there. I was selfish and I got you hurt Dean. I'm so sorry-"

Dean's eyes widened at the statement. "Whoa, what? You think this" Gesturing to his bandages. "It your fault? It's nobody's fault. I was just too slow to get out of the way, if it's anyone's fault, blame me."

"You don't have to be strong all the time." Sam said lightly, needing Dean to hear it. Dean was so strong, all the time for his family, he didn't have to be. He should be able to live his life without his family being the center of his universe. If he remained that way, Sam was terrified that he wuld one day die for them…and they would lose him forever. Sam couldn't let that happen. He'd rather have a selfish Dean then a dead Dean.

"Yeah, I do." Dean argued gently. "It's my job."

"No, you don't have to!" Sam pleaded. "Your job is to be here! With me! That's just what dad tells you to do, to be a hunter, but you don't have to. What if you get hurt too badly next time? Are you going to leave me and dad alone?"

"That's not going to happen." Dean insisted. _Dad may have made me a soldier, but he didn't make me this protective over you. _Dean thought to himself. _You're _my_ kid Sammy, and I will do whatever it takes to protect you._

"Dean just-just please, don't be so quick to allow yourself to get hurt. Please, if I lost you…"

Understanding what Sam didn't say, Dean moved his hand to grip the back of Sam's neck. Bring him closer, Dean rested his forehead against Sam's. "As long as you and dad are okay, then I am okay too." Dean licked his lips, slightly uncomfortable with being so open, so vulnerable, but this was Sammy he was talking to. "I can't lose you either…." Dean whispered truthfully.

Sam bit his lip, trying in vain to keep tears from falling down his cheeks. He nodded against Dean's head and allowed Dean's hand to fall down to his lap, still weak from last night.

_If you had died I would have too. _Sam thought to himself, surprised at the thought but at the same time knowing that it was the truth. Dean Winchester is Sammy's hero. He always will be.

Happy eyes still fixed on Dean, exhaustion overcame Sam as well and he gently laid his head on the crook of Dean's arm, his fingers clinging to Dean's forearm. After a few moments, Sam felt strong fingers start to gently card themselves through his brown hair. Sam felt safe knowing they belonged to his brother.

TBC

_I'm so worried over the newest episode tonight! The Mark is hurting both the boys! Thankfully we know that no matter what happens, even if the writers make the boys have a stupid, pointless fight, they will always love each other. Sam and Dean are soulmates and we know that the writers will always insure that their bond will never break, just become stronger. :)_

_Have a wonderful day! *hug!* _


	18. Always There For Each Other Part Two

_Sam walked around in the old motel room that was now called "home." He couldn't remember why he was so terrified, but he knew that there was something he was forgetting, something important…_

"_Hello?!" Sam called out desperately. Where were Dean and his dad? Why was he alone? "Dean!" Sam screamed. He needed his brother. He couldn't remember why he needed him right then, but he felt like his heart was going to break unless he had Dean within his sights. His brother's name ran through his head like a cant, his breathing becoming difficult the longer he was without Dean._

_Sam ran throughout the small motel, calling frantically for his family. Nothing made sense, he didn't know why he felt like there was something that he needed, something he had to do…It was his fault…whatever it was, it was his fault. Someone was hurt, in pain because of him. But who was it?_

"_Sammy…"_

_Sam spun around to the source of the voice and felt his heart stop._

_Dean was standing by the doorway, gripping onto the doorknob with one hand, and trying to keep his insides from falling out with the other hand. Blood gashed through his fingers, his hands doing no good as to stop the bleeding. Sam would have sworn time slowed down as he meant his brother's tired gaze. "Sammy…" Dean muttered again before his strength failed him and he fell to his knees. Sam rushed over and grabbed his brother's shoulders, pulling him against his chest._

"_No, no, hey buddy." Sam whispered, resting his head against Dean's, his breathing quick and panicked, pushing his hand against the wound. He needing the bleeding to stop. He needed to stop the blood._

"_It's okay Sammy." Dean whispered against Sam's ear. "It's okay to let me go, you can't fix me…can't save everyone…" Dean added dully, like dying was no problem. He was ready to go._

_But Sam wasn't ready to let him._

"_I don't care about everyone, just you!" Sam shouted, holding Dean tighter. "No, not ever…I can't lose you…please Dean, I can't…"_

_Sam waited for a reply, waited for his brother to vow to keep on swinging,to keep on fighting the good fight, to be protective, to be strong, to be Dean… but nothing was said. "Dean?" Sam whispered, terrified of the silence. Sam hastily moved Dean away from his chest to get a better look at him and received a cold, blank stare from Dean's usually bright green eyes. Dean didn't move. Dean didn't breathe._

"Sammy?..."

Sam woke up with a scream ready at his lips, barely keeping the sound from escaping his lips if it wasn't for seeing Dean's alarmed gaze on him. Gasping for enough air, Sam looked up and saw his pale but breathing brother. Concern and fear was etched on his face for his little brother. "Sam you hurt?" Dean demanded worriedly, pulling Sam off from lying on his forearm and brought him closer to his face, expecting him for any injures he must not have noticed. Was he somehow hurt from last night? Logically, Dean knew that there was nothing that injured Sam recently but protective brotherly instincts overcame logic.

Sam pushed Dean examining fingers away and practically leapt into his arms, wrapping his arms around Dean's collar and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Dean bit back his inhale of slight pain that the contact caused his wound, but it wasn't important right then. Sam let out an exhale of relief. He needed to be near him, confirm that he was real, that he was really there. He needed this to wipe away the stain that the cursed hunt had left, to set as his reality. It was only a dream, a nightmare. Dean was fine, Dean was safe.

Relieved tears leaked through Sam's eyes and he buried himself closer to Dean uninjured side. Grabbing a fist-full of Dean's shirt. Dean was baffled by the sudden reaction but scooted himself higher on the couch to make more for Sammy. Pulling the pre-teen onto his lap, Dean moved Sam's head to lay on Dean's collarbone, running his fingers through his hair to sooth him down. Once his breathing resumed back to normal, Dean rested his cheek above Sam's head, waiting for him to calm down before questioning him.

Sam beat him to it. "I thought you were gone…" Sam whispered, his voice muffled by his brother's shoulder, biting his lip to keep from crying even more. "When-when dad brought you home, I-I was-I thought-" He couldn't continue, instead he held on to his brother even more tightly. The other boy nodded, his arms still wrapped around the younger boy. "Well I'm here now." Dean said simply. He couldn't leave Sammy alone with John, John was a leader, not a father. He couldn't be there for his youngest son in the way that Sam needed. Death was never an option while Sam still needed him. "I'm not going anywhere Sammy, not without you." Dean promised softly.

Sam nodded his head violently from under Dean's chin, still fighting to keep his tears at bay. The image of Dean covered in his own blood because he wasn't there to have his back was going to be seared into his mind for a long time. It didn't matter that Dean said it wasn't his fault, Sam wasn't there to watch over him and Dean was the one punished for it. Dean would never want Sam to feel like that, in Dean's mind, Sam was allowed to make mistakes, to have emotions, and be thoughtless at times, he was only human. Though Dean was raised that his own mistakes would end up hurting everyone he loved, one moment of thoughtlessness could be his undoing. So he was never allowed, could never make a mistake. Sam hated that. Dean was protective over his little brother, but he needed to learn that the feeling went both ways.

As both brothers clung to the other, they both had the same thought running through their head.

He needed his brother. He was never going to stop needing him. And he was going to do whatever it took to make him see that.

The End

_I hope you all are safe and well! I love you!_


	19. I Am My Bother's Keeper

_MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 10.23: BROTHER'S KEEPER. Sadly, my TV somehow got turned off, so I missed how the Mark was taken away, so like the oh-so brilliant person I am, instead of looking it up and watching it before I wrote this, I just typed down what I wanted to happen, so I deeply apologize for this. I hope you enjoy it!_

"Forgive me." Dean whispered to his baby brother. Even with the Mark, he didn't want to cause Sam pain. This had to be done. It was the only way. Sam would understand.

Sam gave a watery smile to the man he loved more than another human on the planet. There was so much Sam wanted to say, needed to say...But Dean knew how he felt about his brother. He loves him, he always will.

"_It's okay Dean." _Sam thought to himself, trying to convey all he wanted to say with his hazel eyes. "_I'm ready to go, it's not a life if you're not in it. I love you Dean. Like I said before...You'll never hear me say that you are anything but good. I'll never give up on you. You would do the same for me Dean. I died to save the universe...I'm more than willing to die for you my brother."_

Sam closed his eyes.

Sam heard the whoosh of the blade and squinted, waiting for the painless death...Only to feel nothing. He flew his eyes opened to see Dean, with the scythe impaled in Death.

"_They can help you remember what it was like to be good…what it was like to love." _The words of his Sammy rang through his head like a chant. Sammy. His Sammy wasn't begging for his life, he just wanted to protect Dean, to let him do whatever it took to save him, even at the expense of Sam's life. Dean would have done the same in a heartbeat…

_D__ean_ couldn't kill him. He couldn't. Sam was the only reason he stuck around in this crazy, painful life. They were the reason they still could survive, even when they felt broken. His brother was worth breaking the world.

Death disintegrated with the same bored expression he always wore on his face. Dean hardly spared him a glance before turning back to his Sammy. Holding his hand out, Dean grabbed Sam's wrist and gently pulled him up.

"You okay?" Dean asked, true worry etched through his voice. The Mark was still there, yet he was concerned for Sam.

"I'll live." Sam answered honestly, looking at Dean like he was the best thing he had ever laid eyes on. "You?" Sam added, looking Dean over for any injuries he may have missed.

"Fantastic, although I think I just killed Death..." Dean looked over at the dust that was now Death's body in slight worry. Sam hardly gave the sight a second glance, eyes only for his brother.

Dean was here, he gave up his only chance to protect Sam. Sam knew this was his true Dean, the real Dean was still in there, and Sam wasn't going to give up on him.

Just as he finished his thought Dean gave a shout, clutching his forearm with the Mark in pain. "What-" The Mark shined bright, temporarily blinding both men.

"Dean!" Sam shouted, rushing over and grabbing Dean in his arms. When the light suddenly faded, Sam quickly pulled Dean into his eyesight. "Are you hurt?" Sam asked, cupping the back of Dean's neck and kept him at arm's length as he searched for any new injuries that could have occurred from whatever that thing was.

Dean opened his mouth to answer before looking down at his forearm. "Sam…"

Sam looked down to where Dean was looking and his eyes widen in shock. The Mark was gone.

Dean raided his eyes to look at Sam and a huge grin took over his face. "It's gone Sammy." He barely finished his sentence before Sam started suffocated him in one of his Sammy Signature "Can't hold on enough" hugs. It didn't take long for Dean to return the fierce embrace with the same amount of force.

_It didn't matter what was going to happen._ Sam though, pulling Dean even closer. All that mattered was that Dean was here, as himself, the _real_ Dean was here. They would face whatever this Darkness enemy was. They could face it, side by side, just like always. Sam and Dean…against the world.

_So SO sorry this is so short, I have my last final today so I kinda rushed it. I really hope you like it! Have a lovely day!_


	20. Boys Day Out

"Come on Dean!' Sam pouted like a toddler, his brows lowered in fake irritation. "Tell me!"

Dean aimed a grin to his brother but kept silent, keeping his eyes only on the busy road and purposely not his glowering brother who sat in the passenger seat. Although he couldn't stop himself from laughing at Sam's expression. He never did like not knowing about things. Something that forever amused his older brother.

"Just tell me where we're going!" Sam laughed, shoving Dean's arm, caught up in the enthusiasm that was radiating from his brother. "Hey watch it!" Dean said in mock anger. Caressing the dashboard of the Impala delicately like it would break under his touch, Dean gave a quick horrified glimpse at Sam. "Do want me to crash the Baby?" Dean grinned even more when Sam rolled his eyes, still beaming.

Sam had been woken up by the older Winchester early in the morning of that day, a to-go cup of coffee was pushed in his tired hands and the deed was followed by an enthusiastic big brother who announced that they were going on a short trip. Dean ignored his groggy brother's questions and simply left the room saying he would wait in the Impala for him. Where, however, was the question.

Dean hadn't answered any of his inquiries and just gave a smirk whenever Sam threaten to jump out of the car until he told him what his plan was. Truth was, Sam was thrilled at whatever it was that they were doing, Dean's cheerfulness was contagious. Ever since they were kids, Sam was never able to stay mad when his brother was in a good mood.

"Dean, we've been driving for over an hour! Aren't you going to give me a hint?" Sam said with something akin to fond exasperation in his tone. They had been driving for less than that but Sam was trying to get a response that would at least hint where they were heading.

"Nope." Dean said, smiling smugly at his own brilliantly thought-out answer, letting the car fill with silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, they were too comfortable around each other for that. Sam snuck another glanced at his still beaming brother, and felt his heart swell in happiness. It didn't matter where they were going, as long as his brother was by his side.

"Okay, we're almost there." Dean said proudly, his excitement was obvious from his tone and facial features. He was gripping the steering wheel so that his knuckles were white because of his anticipation. Sam's bright smile grew even bigger at the sight of his big brother acting like a child.

"I'm glad we're doing this." Sam said softly, laying restfully against the passenger seat, staring at his brother with a look that said "I love this dork."on it. He leaned it backwards and closed his eyes, hearing the radio of AC/DC and the small sound of his brother humming along to the songs that he knew by heart.

"You don't even know where we're going." Dean said, stopping his humming and taking a glance over at his brother.

"But I know it's with you." Sam said lowly.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"Who even plays zitch dog? It sounds like an illness."

"It's a real game Dean."

"You look for dogs and yell out 'zitch dog', how is that a real game?"

"I dunno how, people play it!"

"Have I ever played it?"

"No."

"Then it's not a real game."

"Oh, well that makes perfect sense."

"Come on Sammy, I made up better games then that when we were traveling with dad when we were kids!"

"I'm not disagreeing with you there."

"'Cause I'm right."

'You said think of a game and I did!'

'I meant a real game!"

"Fine, then make up a car game until we get there, just to pass the time."

"You can't rush art Sammy."

"I can't believe we're related."

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam felt his mouth dropped open at the sight.

Dean had pulled into the almost full driveway of a beach, the sight of which neither brother had ever seen in person. It was beautiful. The sounds of the ocean, the sight…it was just beautiful. Sam had never knew what it be like and he just assumed that it was something that he would never know about, not with the life they lived.

Sam turned to his brother in complete shock. Dean's eyes were hopeful as he stared back at Sam's surprised expression. Dean reached over to the backseats and pulled out an overnight bag that was hidden under the seats. "I got some bathing suits last week when you were too busy geeking out about the new myth book at the thrift store." Dean answered Sam's nonverbal question. "Sand between our toes, Sammy." Dean reminded him of his words from months ago in a small voice, looking to Sam with hope that he made a good choice of "we time."

"We have no new hunts, nowhere to be, and Cas said he'd call if there was a problem. So I thought it would be a good idea to…you know." Dean made a vague gesture to the water like it would perfectly explain what he was trying to say.

Sam's mouth was still opened in astonishment. Slowly, his grin returned. "Sand between our toes." Sam agreed, remembering the words his brother had said, back when the thought of going to a beach was just a fun idea that would never be a reality. But Dean made it so. Dean knew what he wanted, understood that Sam wanted this, and made sure that Sam got it. Sam looked at his brother with so much fondness, so much adoration, he didn't even care about their destination.

Reaching over the seat, Sam swung an arm over Dean's back, pulling him closer so that his temple rested against Dean's. He closed his eyes, wanting this moment, right here, to last for as long as it could. For a moment, he completely forgot where they were, he only thought of Dean. "Thank you." Sam whispered moving his head to rest against Dean's collarbone, putting all his love and appreciation in those two words. Dean moved his head lower to plant a kiss on Sam's forehead. He allowed his lips to linger there for a few more moments (Sam would never complain about that, loving the feeling), loving so much that he had Sammy here, that he was so _blessed_ to have him here with him. "You are welcome, my little brother."

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"Oh you are so freaking dead!" Sam laughed at his brother's for sending a huge splash of the ocean water at him, completely soaking him completely from top to bottom.

"You're waist deep in here, what, did you think your hair would get out of here without getting a little water on it?" Dean taunted, holding his arms wide to gesture to the beach. "What, does your hair have supernatural powers? Will getting it wet make us lose our seemingly endless WiFi?"

Sam waded over and started to reach over so he could splash his brother, which caused Dean's evil grin to fade and he cursed under his breath. He did his best to try and evade his Sasquatch of a brother, which of course, he failed at doing so. As Sam tackled his big brother from behind, grabbing his waist, he yanked him up in midair to which feet had to dangle in the air, much to Dean's displeasure.

"You're not allowed to do that, I'm the oldest here!"

"I'll believe it when I don't have to look down to see you."

"Oh you are _so_ going to regret that Moose…"

They spent the rest of the day there, not a care in the world, knowing only of the love they had for each other, and that this was only one of many days to come when they would be together like this, no weight of the world on their shoulders, just them, being each other's soulmates.

Just like it should be.

_I haven't been to a beach so I'm not exactly sure how it would be or what one would do there, I would have put more details in it but I can only trust so much of what movies say about the water. Well I hope you enjoyed it! Love you! *HUG!*_


	21. Kid's Day Out

_I apologize if this isn't as good as I thought. I literally dreamed this idea and woke up at three in the morning to write it while it was still fresh in my mind. I hope you enjoy!_

Dean was reluctantly awoken up from a very comfortable, very _deep_ sleep, and gave a groan in disappointment. He wanted so much to burying himself deeply under the covers and not have to be out in the surprisingly very cold summer until it was a warm out there as it was in the bed.

He could feel Sam's arms still circled around his waist and soon Sam scooted closer to the physical connection. Dean could hear Sam's movements and knew that he would soon be awake as well. Dean sighed sadly, not wanting to get out of the bed but knowing that they both had to get a start on the day. He felt Sam hook his chin over the crook of Dean's shoulder, bringing his hand up to cover over Dean's sprawled out fingers.

Dean looked down at Sam's hand and frowned slightly to himself. Okay, either he was _really_ tired or Sam's hand somehow grew smaller overnight…

Wait…why was Dean's hand having the same problem?

Dean tiredly turned his head over to Sam the exact moment Sam groggily opened his eyes. And both brothers froze.

"Uh oh." They said in sync after a moment of dead silence.

Sam had opened his eyes to see his big brother Dean…looking like the ripe old age of ten years old. His shirt was hanging so loose on his torso it probably would be down to the top of his knees when he stood up later.

Dean stared open mouthed at his now six year old brother, looking at him with an expression that he suspected he was also giving to Sam.

"Curse?" Sam sighed.

"Curse." Dean agreed.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

It was near impossible to get clothes to fit. They had to fold the sleeves of their shirts and the legs of their jeans upwards over three times until their feet and hands could be seen and be able to function properly. They made their way to the kitchen to start research over their situation, even though it was difficult to function in their now _really _big kitchen that required the boys to need to stand on chairs to get anything out of cupboards. Coffee and beer was now out of the question (Dean was near tears when Sam told him) leaving it so that they needed to focus on _what had happened._

"But how _did_ this happen?" Sam asked exasperatedly as he rolled up his sleeves once again, his now six year old bottom lip now in a pouting form. Both boys sat at one of the many tables, resting on their knees to be able to see past the wooden tabletop. Sam had in his small hands a huge book on spells and magic from their library while Dean was searching for anything on "de-aging" curses on their laptop. Neither had found anything useful for their plight.

Dean shook his head as he shrugged one shoulder pointlessly, which then lead to his shirt's collar to slide down past his shoulder, revealing his pale and freckled skin. "There are so many possibilities" Dean grumbled "...A witch, a trickster, _Crowley _even if he's in a bad mood…"

Sam nodded in agreement. "This is going to be a long day." Sam young voice lamented, slamming his forehead down on the huge book. Dean reached over and started patted his now smaller little brother's skinny arm sympathetically, unsure what else to do.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Dean urgently poured over every book he could find, and next to him Sam did the same. Yet nowhere could either boys find anything about a "de-aging" spell that would make sense since they had not been near any witches in the last month, and they haven't found any hex bags in the bunker. Trickster seemed more likely than some sort of spell, but they hadn't met a Trickster in years, not since Gabriel.

Ten year old Dean grumbled heatedly and turned his head to look over to his baby brother who did the same.

"This is just ridiculous." Sam nearly whined, looking over at Dean before crossing his skinny arms over his chest. Along with being younger, they also seemed to have developed their younger behaviors.

"Tell me about it."

"According to Bobby's old books, if it is a Trickster, only they can take the curse off."

"Awesome." Dean glowered at the useless book in his hands. "Just friggin' awesome." Sam bit the inside of his cheeks to keep from giggling at his little big brother's adorable looking scowl.

"Okay." Dean went back to resting on his knees to be able to feel somewhat taller while still sitting on the chair. They had done all they could think of. Calling Cas unfortunately had done nothing, he didn't have enough angel mojo to fix this. Cas was concern for them, and had asked if he could help, but they had said no, as much as they loved him, if he couldn't fix them. He sadly wouldn't be much help to them at this time, plus it wasn't something that they really wanted anyone to see them like this. "So, what we need to do is simply keep looking for a cure." Dean said thoughtfully.

"That's the only plan?"

"Compared to the no plan we have now, it seems like our best plan yet." Dean answered sadly. "What about you? Any ideas?"

"Just a question." Sam said, his tone utterly solemn. (Well, as solemn as a six year old could sound.)

Dean leaned closer across the table to hear his brother.

"Am I the only one who feels a pull towards the TV?" Sam asked, his tone seriously even as a small grin was placed on his lips.

Dean grinned evilly. "I'm _so_ glad you said that."

Both shot up from the table and started shoving each other as they tried to beat the other from getting their first.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"I think it's safe to assume that whatever this is it's affecting our behavior." Sam said monotonously as his eyes stayed glue to the mind-numbing cartoon they were currently watching.

"I would say you're right." Dean agreed tonelessly.

"We need to stop." Dean added.

"Yep." Sam agreed in the same tone of voice as his brother. They both continued to stare intently at the TV.

"Like right now."

"Yep."

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"How did we watch over four hours of a talking sponge?"

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"We should totally stay up past out bedtime!"

"Dean, we don't have a bed time."

"EVEN BETTER."

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"When did we get a box of brownie mix?"

"We have brownies?"

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"Well, that could have been handled better." Dean's voice was muffled by Sam's brown, floppy hair.

Both brother laid collapsed on their couch, the television still on. Night had arrived and yet neither brother had learned anything new about their _little_ problem. Throughout the day their behavior had gotten more and more like how it was when they were younger, although both brothers didn't mind this matter nor did they really find the situation a problem. _"That might be because of the sugar rush." _Sam thought to himself since they had the brilliant idea to make any dessert they could find in their kitchen.

Sam shrugged against Dean, his eyes still closed. He was gripping his brother's waist, lying his head on his brother's now small chest. "Didn't feel like a waste." He muttered drowsily, moving closer to Dean's side.

Dean positioned his chin to rest on top of Sammy's head. "We'll look for a cure tomorrow." Dean mumbled sleepily.

"Tomorrow." Sam yawned in approval, absentmindedly rubbing circles on Dean's arm.

They feel sleep to the sounds of the other's breathing.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"But why would someone, or something, curse us like that and just fix us the next day?" Sam asked, not bothering to hide his confusion.

Both brother had woken up the next day, still clinging the other but now close to falling off the small couch since they had somehow overnight grown back to their original sizes and ages.

Dean shrugged. "Maybe we were not worth it to them."

Sam nodded, but wasn't buying into it. "I'm gonna lose sleep over this one." Sam yawned, stretching his arms over his head as he walked towards their room.

"I hear ya." Dean approved, following suit. Sam looked over to _his_ proper sized Dean and grinned. Swinging his arm round Dean's shoulder, he pulled him closer. "Come on to bed. We'll worry about it tomorrow."

Dean shared his smiled and leaned over to lay a kiss under Sam's hairline. "Sounds like a plan."

Away from the relaxed Winchester brothers, standing outside of the bunker and leaning against Baby was a familiar figure.

"I forgot how much fun they are." Sighed an entertained Gabriel. Without another word, he turned and left, thinking of other ways and another day when he would once again have the Winchesters amuse him.

_Have a wonderful summer day! And hopefully it isn't as cold outside as it is here. Love you!_


	22. Bobby's Journal

Sam groaned as he searched through the box of Bobby's books, examining for a book on spells for protecting themselves. He could have sworn Bobby mentioned having one years ago. Dean had been the one to pack the "few" items that belonged to Bobby when he passed. They had stuffed them in their dungeon months ago and still hadn't had time to read them all.

"God, you were a real pack-rat, Bobby…" Sam muttered as he put aside yet _another_ still growing pile of ancient books that he needed to read through, some with titles he had never heard of nor understood. Dean would have helped him but he was out of the bunker getting food for the week. He was probably off hustling some pool for a bit also, making Sam expect him to show up in a few hours with more money than he had left with. Sam smiled at the image of Dean's smug grin when he would get home that night.

Sam sighed, getting close to take a break from searching for the specific book when his hand touched a simple black book with no title. Sam gave a small confused frown before picking up. Sam positioned himself so that he sat with his back resting against the wall. His eyes widen as he started skimming the book to see handwriting, more specially, Bobby's handwriting.

Holy crap he found Bobby's journal.

Bobby didn't seem the type to have a journal in Sam's opinion, but with his "keep it close to your chest" attitude, it was understandable that he needed to vent somehow. This would be the best thing to do.

Sam debated exactly one minute on whether or not he should invade Bobby's private matters before he shrugged and started from the first page. Dean would be proud of him and his natural curiosity. Sam guessed that there were probably more of these but knowing Bobby, he burned them. Just wasn't able to get to this one in time before his death. There were no dates on the pages but from what was on the first page, it wasn't hard to tell when it was.

"_Dean called me today. First time I heard from the boy in years. Sam left him and his old man for college. Stanford according to Dean. While I say good for him because of that bastard John, I can't say that for Dean. He sounded like crap. He asked if he could come over in a few days. How could I say no? Knowing him, he'll tell John he's off doing a hunt on his own. I have no clue what to say to him but let's hope that God has pity on me and makes sure I don't say the wrong thing."_

Sam didn't notice when his one hand went up to cover his mouth in dismay, he only noticed when he was suddenly gripping his own jaw in despair. Sam hadn't thought about his Stanford days in years, and he did his best to not think about what pain he caused Dean and their dad. He didn't fit in with his college friends, he always thought of Dean, every day, but his pride got the better of him, and he never called. Sam felt sick at the thought. There were days when Dean would drunk dial him, and Sam would let out a sigh of relief at hearing Dean's voice, but those were rare. Sam would mainly call Bobby and ask how Dean was doing. While Bobby would always say it would be better if he just called for himself, Bobby never failed to let him know that his family was alive and breathing.

Sam knew he should stop reading right then. If he was reacting like this at only the first page, it could only get worse from here. But Sam always had a hard time letting things go, if he wanted to know something he would stop at almost nothing to get his information known. With a shuttering exhale, Sam turned to the next page.

"_Dean knocked on my door today. I almost didn't recognize him he got so damn big. He was paler then he should be, he looked like he was just given news that he had a terminal illness. I guess to him, losing Sam is pretty much the same thing. _

_Honestly, I missed him and his brother, they grew up so much and I wasn't there for it. They deserved better than the life they were thrown into. From what Dean said was that Sam was accepted into some college and said he was leaving. John told him if he left, don't bother coming back….Yeah that sounds like John alright. It took a bit for Dean to confess to me that he pretty much begged Sam to stay but Sam wasn't having it. _

_Sam up and left and they haven't heard if him since. I asked Dean if he checked up on Sam and again, it took me a while to get an honest answer but the truth was that Dean had followed him later and made sure he got there safely. Dean always has been an insanely protective person but that's one of the things that make him so unique. Dean looked me in the eyes and begged me to tell him how he could convince Sam to come back home. I didn't have an answer for him and my heart damn near cracked because I swear he was close to tears. I've never seen Dean show such raw emotion before to me, only ever to Sam and even then that was a rare sight. _

_He wanted to go back to John but I was able to convince him to stay the night. Poor kid looks like a five year old could take him down. He'll stay in one of the spare rooms. I don't know how Dean is going to cope without Sammy."_

Sam could feel his breathing becoming shallower as he read on. He had to stop reading for a moment to think about what he had just read. Dean had told him he was in a bad place when Sam left but Sam didn't put too much thought into it because Dean said that it was long ago and it didn't matter because they were a family. Sam wasted no time to turn to the next page.

"_I woke up early the next morning and found Dean was awake also. It was four in the morning and Dean looked like he got no sleep. Probably didn't. I was going to try and get him to eat something when he broke the silence with a voice so heartbreaking I was shocked to hear it come from him._

"_Why wasn't I enough? What did I do wrong?" Dean asked, looking at me like I had all the answers and I wish with all my heart that I did, I would say anything just to make him feel better._

_It wasn't Dean. It was never Dean's fault, I know that. It is all John and the life they lived. But that is something Dean wouldn't understand yet, John to him is a strong leader who is always right and hunting is his life. I swear, I don't think I've hated a human as much as I hate John for he's done to his sons._

"_It's not you, I promise." I tried to reason with him, tried to let him know that this wasn't even close to his or Sam's fault, but he was raised to believe that if something went wrong, it was because he wasn't strong enough._

"_I should have done more." Dean mourned. I'm not the hugging type but I was closest to grabbing that boy and pulling him into a hug I had to look away for a moment. Dean is so special, so loved, and he doesn't even see it. I tried to reason with him, tell him that this was something Sam needed to do, and that it didn't mean it was Dean's fault but I don't think I got through to him._

_Dean left soon after, saying he had to be back to John before he suspected something was off."_

Next page longer and was with a different colored pen, (something Bobby always did when he lost his pen was refuse to write for several weeks, sometimes even months for payback because of the rebellious pen for abandoning him in his time of need) showing Sam it must have been quite some time after the last page.

"_So I found Dean waiting outside my door this morning like a stray dog. John is out for a hunt for a few weeks, he won't be checking up on Dean for a while. The thought pisses me off but I said nothing to Dean about it. It would take months to discuss all John does that pisses me off._

_I asked if Sam called. He answered that Sam called him once a week after he left just to let him know that he was safe and had a dorm room. Dean didn't mentioned to him that he already knew that after he had checked up on him. The fact that Sam called him proves that their relationship isn't ruined. Not that a bond like theirs could ever be broken but it was pretty close._

_Dean doesn't say much at first, but he wouldn't be here if he didn't want someone to talk to. Dean's much skinnier now, like he barely eats. His normally sharp and intelligent eyes have a dull look to them now, it's as if he is getting the life sucked out of him…Like he lost a lot more than his brother the night Sam left._

_Dean doesn't want to be babied, I can tell, but he also doesn't want to be told to 'man up' and keep going on hunting like nothing's changed. It's a tough balance but if it's what I can do to help Dean, I'll try it._

_As hard as it is for us adult hunters to talking about how we 'feel', Dean is just as bad. I know he wants to talk about it, but to let yourself be completely vulnerable and allow others to hear your inner most private thoughts…it's tough. And Dean lost the only person he could do that normally with. I feel oddly privileged to know I'm Dean's second choice._

"_Sometimes I wish dad was dead just so I would have an excuse to see Sam again to tell him dad's gone." Dean blurts out in s rush. I thought I must have misheard when he first said it. Dean saying that about John? Now I know the world's ending. John is his hero. For him to say that…well it's not a good sign._

"_I know it sounds horrible…" Dean mumbles, not looking at me. Maybe it's easier for him to talk about personal stuff when he doesn't make eye-contact. I don't mind it. As long as he feels safe. "I don't know why I feel like this. It's just- without S-Sammy…It's like that kid is my whole life, you know? And now without him…it feel like everything's wrong. I'm pathetic I know I am, but I want him back. I want to be a _family_ again. But he deserves to be free from the life…It's selfish to wish him back in this hell-hole." _

_I pulled him into a hug then. I'm probably growing girly parts as I write but this idjit is the most selfless person I've ever known, and he doesn't see it. It was an awkward hug but he seemed more relax after, so I consider that a win._

_Sam needed to get away from this life, I hold no anger for him for that, but there is a big part of me that wonders if Sam is suffering just as much as his brother. And the worst part is an even bigger part of me hopes he is."_

Sam has to close the book for a moment to close his eyes and lean his head back against the wall. How Dean was when he was off at Stanford was something that did his best not to think about. Sam suffered every day without Dean, every single day. If he could go back, he would slap younger him and force him to swallow his pride and call Dean.

Sam feels something wet slide down his cheek and only then realizes that he is crying. He brings his knuckle up to his mouth to bit down on it to keep from letting out a sob. Dean was suffering, was in pain and it was all because of him. He abandoned him, rarely called, and acted like he didn't care about the one person in his life that he couldn't live without.

Sam had the overwhelming urge to see Dean, _his_ Dean, and pull him into an embrace. He needed to tell him how sorry he was, how remorseful he was. He didn't deserve that, he never did. There were so many other ways Sam wished to God he had handled it. He should have stayed. He should have begged Dean to come with him. So many ways and he chose the simplest road, thinking that only he would be hurt in the process, but not only did he break himself, he broke Dean. Sam felt more tears fall and let out a choked whisper for his brother. Dean was still out and Sam didn't know when he would return.

Leaving Sam with the next page of the journal.

"_Dean's still here thankfully. I thought he would leave in the middle of the night after his confession. It's like with each passing day Dean loses more and more of himself. He looks…not like 'Dean' anymore. I don't know what to do. I love the kid like he was my own, yet I don't know how to help him when he needs me the most. Great help I am, huh? _

_Dean hasn't said it outright but I suspect that John has told him that he blames him for Sam leaving. John leaves a four year old to raise a soldier and insures that the kid feels like anything Sam does 'wrong' is all his fault. _

_He's opening up more, which leads me to believe I'm not completely screwing this up. He talks about how he feels like he's numb, that he doesn't 'feel'. He goes on to talk about how he's mad at Sam for leaving but proud he's off making a life for himself. Poor kid doesn't know how to feel._

"_I want him to be happy." Dean says at one point. "But I wish that he was happy being with us, you know? I wish that we were enough….I wish I was enough." He whispers the last part in such a low voice I wonder if he knew he said it aloud. _

_Sam and Dean…they have a bond. A strong bond that I know that this distance won't break it but it sure as hell isn't going to do them any favors. Dean isn't going to ever be 'Dean' without Sam and Sam isn't going to be 'Sammy' without Dean. Maybe this will show them how much they need the other but for right now…it's breaking Dean._

_I'm almost tempted to call John…tell him his boy needs him but it'll probably end up causing more harm than good. Dean doesn't need a hunt or a leader now, he needs his family. I know I'm not much, but I swear to do the best I can for him."_

Next page.

"_John called me today. Was about to hang up on him when he said it was about Dean. He thinks Dean is depressed to the point he 'can't do the job properly.' _

_In his own way, this may be what John thinks is helpful. Hunting may help him with healing but Dean is not him. Although, trying to explain that to John is like trying to teach a fish to do ballet. John wasn't having it, I would have hung up on him if we weren't talking about Dean. Long story short, he wants Dean to stay over until he gets his head back in the game._

_Kid doesn't seem to mind being here though it's clear he thinks he's a failure for needing a break in the first place._

Next page.

_Dean keeps looking at his phone hopefully, expecting a call. Whether from John or Sam, I don't know._

Next page.

_Dean basically confessed to me today that he "doesn't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I…I just wish I could not exist, even if it's only for a while."_

Next page.

_I think Dean is getting worse. He's becoming…there's no other word for it. 'Harder'. He's turning more into John. I asked if Sam called him recently. He didn't answer._

Next page.

_Dean left today. He says he's okay to hunt, I disagree but telling the Winchesters anything they don't want to hear is worse than pulling teeth. Boy pleads with me to tell dad he's fine, that he isn't suffering anymore and I can't ruin the kid's trust. He's smart, he'll be slightly happier hunting with his dad than talking about feelings with an old coot like me. I told him to call me soon to let me know how he's doing but I don't think he will. I want so much to ask him to stay a while longer but I think he needs to hunt as a distraction, maybe it'll help him, and maybe it won't. I think we all know the only thing that can help him is in California."_

Sam has to stop reading there, his vision was too blurry to continue. To hear about what happened while he was gone, it hurt him all over again. He knew that Dean was suffering, Dean had told him that, but to actually hear about it in _detail_, to know exactly what harm he gave his brother…it reopened the wound all over again. How did Dean ever trust him again after what he did? He _broke_ him, and Dean kept it to himself. Sam let the journal slip out of his grasp as he felt the tears continue.

"Sammy?"

Sam whipped his head up. Dean was standing outside the doorway, before he suddenly sprinted towards Sam, falling to his knees and gently tilting Sam's face towards him. "What wrong?" Dean demanded. "Are you hurt?" Dean carefully examined Sam's face, searching for the reason Sam was in distress.

Sam gently moved Dean's hands away and had to get up, needed to catch his breath over the day's revelations. He had grabbed the book again before Dean could get a look at it. Dean fought the urge to rush over and follow the distraught Sam who was leaning against the doorway. He waited for Sam's breathing to start evening out, knowing that Sam wasn't quite ready to answer his questions.

"What's wrong Sammy?" Dean asked tenderly, concern etched on his face.

Sam gave a deep inhale before holding the book out to Dean.

Dean eyed the book in confusion, looking back to Sam for more information. Sam tossed it over to him and Dean caught it with ease, starting to skim the volume. Sam watched as Dean's jaw clenched tightly, his breathing becoming heavy as he understood what this journal was about. He still looked down to the journal but his eyes stopped reading, showing Sam that he knew what it was he was holding.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Sam has to bit his lip to keep it from trembling.

"Sam." Dean sighed. This was not something he really wanted to talk about, but they promised each other no more lies, and he couldn't hurt Sam with any more falsehoods. "Look, yes…yeah it hurt when you left. I-I hit some low points…it felt-" Dean paused here, searching for the best words to explain, wishing so much that this wasn't hurting Sammy. "It felt like there wasn't a point to anything anymore. The hunts were meaningless, dad was feeling less like dad and more like a commander or somethin'…I felt like it was my fault you left, like you hated me because I did something wrong or was constantly disappointing you." Dean watched as Sam's eyes were slowly watering up, forcing Dean to confess. "It isn't something you should feel guilty for!" Dean implored.

"I left you." Sam whispered like it was the most disgusting sentence he had ever uttered. "I left you and never acted like I cared what was happening to you…You were alone and it was because of me."

"No." Dean says forcefully, reaching over and tugging on Sam's coat sleeve. "I'm serious, stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop talking about yourself like your do more harm than good!"

"But I do." Sam laughs, slightly hysterical now, his eyes wet with the strong impact of his emotions. "I left you. I left you and dad and never called to make sure you were safe, to see if you would take me back. I picked up the phone so many times, wanting so much to come home, to be with you, but I didn't." Sam's tone went down to almost a whisper. "I was a coward...I left you." Sam repeated, the words hurting him even more when they were said out loud. How did he leave the best thing in his life? How was he able to live without Dean? The thought of being without Dean _now_, of on purposely hurting him like that, made him feel physically sick…

"But you came when I needed you" Dean argued sharply. Sam was the best person he ever known in his life. He couldn't stand Sam beating himself over Dean's own stupidity to not swallow his fear and call Sam when he was at college.

"When dad was missing, you dropped everything to help me find him." Dean begged, moving his hand from Sam's should to grip the nape of his neck desperately. "I wanted you _home_, but I couldn't make you come back to the hunting life, and when dad was gone...I was selfish," Sam frowned at that. Dean was the exact opposite of selfish, the word was never _ever _something that he would describe when talking about his brother. Dean noticed Sam's expression and corrected himself. "I was-hopeful. I saw a way to have you back...even if it was just for a little while."

Dean stared imploring at his baby brother's eyes. "You will never, _ever, _hear me blame you for Stanford. I said stupid things about it before, but I don't blame _you_ for leaving, I never did." Dean took a shaky breath before he was able to continue. "Being apart those years in Stanford…I think it showed us that we are better together then we ever were apart…It worked out for the best even though it hurt like hell. We've all made mistakes Sammy, we've all done things that we regret...but you came when I needed you. You're here now...that's all I need."

Dean didn't even have time to blink before Sam fists a hand in Dean's jacket collar and Dean feels himself do the same to Sam's shirt. Those fingers pulling him closer, they have always been there, always been by their side, holding each other, gripping them, keeping them sane and safe, making life bearable and making the other want to always keep fighting.

Sam drags his brother closer to him, arms thrown tight around his big brother. Sam's fingers drag themselves through Dean's spiky hair and he doesn't want to ever let go. Sam pushes his face into the crook of Dean's neck and feel Dean's temple rest against Sam's ear.

Sam needs this so much, needs to feel heartbeat and hear his breathing and needs him safe and here and just is thanking God for letting him have his brother alive and safe and Dean is holding him just as tightly, both shivering in relief that the other is with them and that they haven't lost each other...and never will.

"Sam..." Dean tries, worried at the feel of tears that he knows belong to Sam as the start to fall on Dean's shoulder.

"Shut up." Sam whispers, muffled by Dean's shoulder. He moves his head so that now their forehead touch, he drags his fingers and grip a fistful of Dean's hair at the base of his neck, needing to be as close to him as he could be. He won't be fine without Dean. He can't be. He know Dean feel exactly the same and he just so, so grateful that he has him and that he know that even in death, when they both leave this messed-up world, they'll be by each other's side, forever, as in death as they were in life. And as sick as it might sound, they don't mind, as long as they always have each other.

When they finally move apart both brother's eyes are wet. "Just...Just don't leave my side for a while, okay?" Sam begs slightly.

"You too." Dean compromised, still holding on to his brother just as tightly as Sam is.

They stay in that position for a few minutes later. Sam needed Dean, Dean needed Sam, and it was always going to be like that. Both brothers stayed there, knowing that as long as they are together, everything was going to be okay…better then okay.

_Ugh, I can't get enough of these boys. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Have a wonderful day! *hugs!*_


	23. A Soulmates Love

Prompt: I don't think you've ever addressed the Samulet or if Dean has it when this story begins, but I'd really like to see a chapter where Dean gets the Samulet back from Sam. I know they haven't addressed what happened to it on the show, but I'd really like to believe that Sam took it out of the wastebasket that day and kept it all this time. Thanks in advance!

_I love this prompt! I really hope you enjoy it! Thank you for the awesome prompt! :)_

_-"You can't love someone unless you love yourself first." Bullshit. I have never loved myself. But you, oh God, I loved you so much, I forgot what hating myself felt like.-_

"This store has apple pie candles?"

Sam stifled his laughter at the sight of his big brother of a hunter eyeing the apple pie scented candles like they were a holy treasure that God Himself had given to humanity. "I don't know these things existed…" Dean muttered, examining the glass container. "Do they have cherry pie scents too?" Dean turned his head towards Sam, expecting him to know the answer.

"Yeah, it's not really a rare sight Dean." Sam said knowingly, looking at his dork of a brother with adoring affection. "It's pretty easy to find-"

"We're getting them." Dean said with awe, leaving no argument from his brother. "And we need these?" Sam asked cynically.

"Yes." Dean said, nodding happily. Sam sighed fondly at Dean and grabbed four more of the candles and put them in their cart.

Walking back to the checkout Dean reached into the cart and grabbed one of the candles, inhaling the scent while Sam paid for their groceries, purposely not looking at Dean unless he wanted to laugh at the sight, yet it got too much for Sam and he had to reach over and pull on Dean's jacket to plant a kiss on his cheek. Dean, turning slightly pink with pride, grinned at the gesture, still holding the object like he was a little kid holding his teddy bear.

After Sam finishes paying for everything, the checkout girl leans over the counter. "I just wanted to say, your boyfriend is so cute." The young girl said in a low voice so Dean wouldn't hear as he continued assaulting his nostrils with his new-found obsession, looking at them with a look that just screamed "You both are so freaking adorable."

"Oh he's not my boyfriend. "Sam said matter-a-factly as Dean started making his way outside. "He's my brother." Sam smiled sweetly and waved as they left, watching in amusement at the girl's horrified face.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"Getting knocked around is not boding well for my clothes." Sam mumbled despondently, carrying one of the still growing extinct pairs of jeans that barely surviving a hunt. "We may need to go shopping at that thrift store again." Sam calls to Dean as he heads towards the washer and drier that Charlie had mysteriously "paid" for them a few months ago.

"Growing sick and tired of you boys having to pay a fortune to clean up your dirty laundry." Was her excuse but they knew that she was being a protective little sister, needing them to have the closest thing to a home. To Dean, having them was like to final step of putting together their official home. Sam figured he judged homes based on their home back when they had their mom and dad.

"I think it's half off on Wednesday, wanna go then?" Sam called, mindlessly picking at the holes that were scattered across his worn jeans.

"Dean?" Sam calls again, confused at the lack of response from his brother. Sam practically ran into the laundry room, wondering what the problem was.

Relief flows through Sam's body as he locates his brother, his back towards Sam, standing in the middle of the room.

"Dude I was calling you." Sam half laughs before he notices Dean's tense body language. Dean was half hunched over, looking at something that was in his hand that Sam couldn't see. "Dean, what's wrong?" Sam quickly inquires.

Dean turned his body to face his brother and Sam swears that he freezes.

He must have left it in his pockets, God how did he do that? How could her have forgotten it?

Dean stared at the amulet in shock. It dangled between his fingers, swaying back and forth and Dean was memorized by the movement. He always believed that because of him, because of his anger and hopelessness, he would never see it again. "I...I thought it was gone forever..." Dean whispers, tearing his gaze away from the necklace and eyeing Sammy.

Sam looked at Dean's face, searching for any sign of anger, or disgust aimed at him…but there was none. Only shame and regret. "I know you threw it away because…you were hurt by so much...after all that had happened, I couldn't accept that throwing away this-" Sam looked at the amulet in Dean's hand. "-meant that you were finally giving up on me, on _us_…I took it when you left…because I wanted to give it back to you someday, when you wanted it…"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Dean's voice is soft, the kind of softness that only Sam knows as Dean code for: "Close to tears.", his green eyes were wet and Sam ducks his head down in shame, biting his lip to keep from choking up. Dean is still holding the amulet, now in the palm of his hand, delicately, as if it was made of glass. He didn't want to upset Dean, he just had to tell him this now, needed him to know the truth because now that it was out in the open, he found out that he couldn't keep this in a second longer anymore.

"I love you, I love you _so_ much, and I know that you love me…but a part of me, the part that doesn't understand why you're still here with me…wonders if I gave this back, you'll remember why you got rid of it in the first place and you'll finally realize that I'm not worth all the trouble…That you'd leave."

Dean looked at Sam with a heartbreaking look, and Sam was the one who put it there. Of course he was upset, Sam had kept this a secret from him, had lied _again_. Sam couldn't face him, how could he look Dean in the eye when once again he had lied to him? That he never told him that he kept the amulet? When Dean willingly kept the fake one that the girls from the musical had given Dean, it gave Sam hope, hope that maybe Dean wouldn't change his mind…but still, he hadn't told Dean the truth.

Dean couldn't stand still anymore.

Dean stepped in front if Sam in one stride and pulled on Sam's shirt, practically slamming Sam against his chest, holding him with all his strength and wishing that he could tell Sam how much he needs him, yet unable to say a word. Praying that _this_ would show Sam, prove to him, that Dean would always be there for him, that he would never abandon him.

Sam hold on like his life depends on it, his arms wrapped around Dean's waist tightly like he'll never be able to hold Dean again, held tightly in his fist is the amulet. This, this right here is his home- being with his brother, being held together by his brother's comfort and warmth. Strong arms wrapped around him tightly and Sam held on just as tightly. Dean's comforting fingers cards through Sam's brown hair, tuning into a relaxing rhythm that soothes Sam throughout his whole trembling body, while Dean's other hand grips firmly at Sam's back.

"Thank you Sammy…" Dean whispers by Sam's neck. "I love it."

Sam's relief becomes so strong that when his legs can no longer support him and he sinks to the ground, Dean willingly goes down with him.

Dean hooks his chin over Sam's shoulder, leaning his head against Sam's temple, both resting on their knees on the floor, bodies in-tuned only to each other. "I'm not going to leave you Sammy…" Dean vows. "I'll never leave you."

Sam nods quickly, gulping in fresh air as another chocked sobs escapes him. He buries his head in the slope of Dean's shoulder, holding the most important thing in his life.

Later that night Sam put the amulet in its rightful owner's hands, and Dean's look, his thankful look proves to Sam that keeping it was the right choice. Sam watched as Dean slid the necklace over his head that he will never leave Dean either, it was always going to be Sam _and_ Dean, never Sam or Dean. That's how their world works, and he knew that neither of them would change it for anything.

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter!_


	24. My Brother's Love Can Save Me

Prompt: Maybe you could write a teenager chapter when Sam have a panic attack and Dean help him. Just a cute, fluff, hurt/comfort chapter

_Now how could I ever say no to a hunt/comfort chapter? ;) This was SO fun to write, I now realize that I have a love for writing Weechester fics. :D Thank you so much for the prompt! _

_Many thanks to my awesome editor and friend Hannah! Thanks babe!_

"Yeah, that will be fine." Fourteen year old Sam Winchester said excitedly, sitting up top of the counter as he held on to the motel phone. "I'll be there in an hour!" Sam hung up the phone down with a click. He was actually invited to a party for spring break. The new kid, was actually remembered and was invited to go somewhere.

Sam jumped off the counter, a grin on his face as he started gathering his shoes from the front of the door.

"Who was that?"

Sam jumped slightly at his brother's sudden entrance. His eighteen year old brother Dean had just walked into the kitchen holding a full duffel bag, which could only mean one thing.

"You're going on a hunt?" Sam moans in disappointment, his shoulders slumping. Oh come on! Dad was gone on another hunt, they didn't need to go anywhere when he was gone!

"_We're_ going on a hunt." Dean corrected, going into the fridge to grabbed two water bottles for each other and setting them in the bag. "Dad called me on the cellular phone; there's some ghost a few miles away has been killing teenagers, and we need to gank it. He says it should be easy."

"Then why doesn't he do it." Sam accuses, leaning against the wall by the door, crossing his arms irritably. Dean mentally groaned at the sight. It was the same stance Sam did when he was mad at John. Which was quite often nowadays.

"Cause he's still out of town and won't be finished for another day, two tops." Dean shrugs one shoulder like it's no big deal. Like it doesn't kill him every day that dad doesn't come back, when they aren't together as a family.

Sam wasn't in the mood for their father's excuses. "Well I'm going to a party-"

"Yeah, you can go right afterwards, sounds good." Dean encouraged absentmindedly, pulling out a map from his bag that he had made himself of the town they were currently living in. Dean made it a habit to walk the streets of wherever they stayed, no matter how short of a time they stayed there, so that he could plan a route for them to leave in an emergency. John applauded his son's thoughtfulness, and while Sam admired it, he was saddened that Dean needed to do that at all.

"No," Sam frowned, standing with his feet apart to show he wasn't going anywhere. "I'm going _now_."

Dean looked up from his map, eyeing Sam perplexedly. "What are you talking about? Dad said we need to go on this hint and that's what we're doing."

"Well you can go, but I am going to this party." Sam pursed his lips, standing his ground. He could feel his patience wearing thin. Mainly because of John doing this to them yet again, unfortunately, Dean was the scapegoat for this situation. "It's a Friday night, so I don't need to worry about it being a school night, and this hunt sounds simple, Dad can do it."

Dean stared at Sam like he professed the desire to become a ballerina. "Sam, people are dying, and _Dad_ told us to go on this hunt."

"And I'm telling you that I'm not going." Sam glared at his brother. This was the first time in years that he fit in a new school enough to go anywhere with his classmates. He was not giving this up just for some stupid hunt. Logic failed him, compassion was forgotten, and angry was consuming him.

"And _I'm_ telling you that you are going with me." Dean matched Sam's scowl. It was his job to watch out for Sam, he couldn't allow him to be alone. Yeah he was a teenager, and more mature then his entire school, but Sam wasn't as good as a hunter like John. Thousands of complications ran through Dean's head: If Sam left without his hunt being over, he could be the ghost's next target. Or if the ghost targeted someone else and Sam stepped in to save them like the selfless idiot he is, he could be hurt…or worse. No. Sam couldn't go alone.

"Sam," Dean warned, taking a step closer to the door, blocking it with his arm. "Sam listen to me, dad said-"

"No." Sam growled. Everything in him just broke like a daisy chain and he stepped up to Dean, a foot smaller then him but he didn't care. He was _sick_ of John telling them what to do. Sick of the fact that John had done this to them, that they had never experience a proper, normal life. And it was all their dad's fault.

Sadly, since John wasn't there, Dean was his next best choice to voice these feelings. "If you want to be dad's stupid, mindless soldier who does whatever he tell you to do, then fine, go get yourself killed. I, however, have a _life_."

Sam ducked under Dean's arm in a rush and ran off. Out the door and away from his brother. He ignored Dean's panicked calls to him and just ran.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

One hour later and Sam was sick to his stomach and it had nothing to do with the small sip of punch he had the he was 97% sure had alcohol in it.

Oh God, had he really said those awful things to Dean? The one person who was always there for him and he repays him with basically saying the he didn't care if he died?

"Hey Sammy-boy!" Hiccupped a stumbling teenager who swung an arm around Sam's shoulder. "Relax…" The boy slurred, drawing his words out slower than he needed to. Sam turned his head away from the teen's breath in disgust, not just at the smell, but at the fact that this kid he didn't even know had called him by that nickname. Only one person could call him that.

"This is the first night off we've had in weeks, so get that stick out of your ear…or nose…or is it…how many holes does the human body have…" The teen looked off past Sam's head, lost in thought over this clearly thought provoking saying.

Sam gently but firmly took off the boy's arm away from him, moving a step back out of the way of several more drunk and hyperactive teenagers. 'Yeah, I think I'm going home..."

Despite barely knowing Sam, the drunk kid frowned. "You've only been here like, thirty minutes or somethin'!"

"I need to go home!" Sam called back, pushing past the countless teenagers who yelled at his fast movements. He ignored them and headed to the one person who _was_ his home.

Later, Sam almost sobbed in relief over the sight of their motel door. Fumbling with his keys, Sam twisted the key in the lock and ran in the door, shouting his brother's name.

It was a simple hunt, Dean should be done by now. He hadn't answered his phone, and he wasn't home. Sam sucked in a gulp of air that didn't quite fill his lungs. Lightheaded and panicking, Sam scrabbled out his phone again.

Dean's voice message greeted him for the fifth time and Sam threw his phone in frustration. Dean wasn't answering his phone, Dean _always _answers his phone, and he always answers for Sam. Sam couldn't keep his breathing under control but he paid no mind to his as his mind was plagued by the hundreds pf possibilities of what could have happened to Dean who never hunted alone.

Dean may act like an adult but if the ghost was mainly going after teenagers, Dean would be its next victim, and he left him alone.

_Dean wasn't here Dean is gone Dean's at a hunt alone and he's not answering his phone and he's gone gonegonegonegonegone_

Sam pressed his palm against his chest, his breathing rapid. It felt like a hand was fisted around his heart and squeezing it until it broke. Oh God, was he having a heart attack? He was lightheaded, his vision started to go blurry.

Sam's hand tried to reach out, grab something, anything, but his legs give out and his falls to his knees harshly to the floor of their motel room. His arms stick out on front of his, pushing against the floor, trying and failing to raise up. He needed to get up, he couldn't be having a panic attack, Dean needed him, he could be hurt and it was his fault. It didn't matter know, he just needed to see Dean, hold and beg him to understand that would never mean those horrible words that he said.

Dean was his _brother_, his _best_ _friend_. He couldn't lose him. He refused to lose the most treasured person he would ever know in his life. _Dean I'm so sorry please Dean I need you DeanDeanDeanDean_

Suddenly, Sam felt hands were cupping his face, steady and strong, keeping his from getting lost in the dark. The touch could only belong to one person that he knew better than he did himself. Sam trembled, his whole body was shaking beyond his control. Through his fuzzy vision, Sam's gaze searched for the one thing in life that he needed more than anything else.

And, like an answer to his prayers, was Dean. Worried and pale but in front of him and cupping his cheeks.

"Sammy, look at me baby brother, look-you need to breathe okay?" Dean's voice broke, fear consumed him, his eyes held fear. Fear for his baby brother. Anytime Sam was hurt, it was like he was in pain too.

Dean had come back to the motel room after a successful hunt, it was a simple salt-and-burn. Nothing to be impressed about. He handled the hunt with a vengeance, still hurt from Sam's words but promising to himself that he couldn't show Sam that. Dean had turned off his phone, partly so no noise would attracted the ghost as he dug up its gave, and partly because he didn't want to talk to anyone, especially not his dad who would call to see if Dean hadn't gotten himself killed.

Dean had spent of the hunt thinking about Sam's words, and he knew that the moment he got home, he was going to tell Sam that he understood. Sam needed a break from the hunting life, even if it was just for a few hours. Dean had to be the strong one. As long as Sam was being safe, Dean could live with it. He promised himself to tell Sam that.

Dean _had_ to be the strong one, and he wasn't going to allow Sam to see how much his words had hurt him. Sammy was his little brother, there was nothing he could do that Dean wouldn't forgive, even if it took him a while, he would always forgive Sam.

All of his thoughts and plans on what to say to his little brother all left him, however, the second he saw Sam, on his knees and sucking in air that wasn't coming to his lungs aid.

Sam breathed in…and out…in….and out. The pressure that was previously crushing his chest, slowly eased off. He gulped in the fresh air and rested his head against Dean's chest, trying not to pass out as his vision came back.

Dean's voice grounded him, helped him find his way out of the darkness. Dean's words, his voice helped brought him back.

_"I'll stay right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere without you."_

_"Just breathe Sammy, that's all I'm going to ask of you, just breathe, okay?"_

_"I'm okay, _you're_ okay, we're both okay."_

Sam buried his head against Dean's chest, his fingers gripping either side of Dean's shoulders. His breathing evened out, his chest raising and falling in a normal rhythm. Dean repositions his head to his chin rested on top of Sam's hair.

"Dean?" Sam starts weakly, feeling drain and ready to sleep for a year but needing to talk to Dean.

"Yeah buddy?" Dean asked, still rubbing circles on Sam's back.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, it's okay Sammy-"

"I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't." Dean finishes for him. "You were angry, and you have every right to be."

"It's not okay." Sam whimpers, his lips trembling without his permission. "I should have never said that, you don't deserve that. I was an idiot."

"Well, yeah but your _my_ idiot." Dean jokes, grinning when he feels Sam weakly slap Dean's arm before going back to holding his big brother tightly. "I know you were angry," Dean continues, his voice soft, and he carefully chooses his words to show Sam that he means every word he says. "And we all say things we don't mean when we're angry. I don't blame you. If you say you didn't mean it, I believe you."

Sam nodded fervently against Dean's chest, still crying softly, muttering sincere words of _I'm sorry _and _please don't go_. Dean hold him close to his torso, rocking their bodies side by side in a soothing rhythm. Sam was feeling himself start to fall asleep from exhaustion that the attack had left him with, but he smiled softly as he heard his big brother hum "Hey Jude."

"Dean?" Sam starts, his eyes drooping close, his brother's strong heartbeat lulling him to sleep as his head rose and fell from Dean's breathing.

"Yeah Sammy?"

"Love you." Sam says quietly, his grip never faltering on Dean.

Dean smiled, feeling the last of his anxiety for his brother fade away at the two words. "Love you too Sammy." Dean promised, placing a feather light kiss to his sleepy brother's hairline and carefully, delicately, carrying him bridal style, to his bedroom. After settling Sam in the bed and tucking him in (in his mind, Sam was never going to be too old to be tucked into bed) Dean gently patted his little brother's arm before turning away, ready to go wait and leave Sam alone so he would sleep in peace.

Small fingers suddenly wrap around his wrist and Dean looks down at a barely conscious Sammy, whose hazel eyes stared lovingly at his brother, always and only for his brother.

"Stay?" Sam asked the single word quietly.

There was no way Dean was going to deny Sam that.

"Of course." Dean smiled. Kicking off his shoes, Dean moved behind Sam, wrapping his arms around Sam's waist, he pulls his little brother against his chest and tucks the top of Sam's head underneath his jawbone. Sam's back to Dean's chest, Sam feels the security and safety that he only ever experiences when he's with his brother, and knows that there's no place he'd rather be.

Knowing the other was right there, was always going to be there, both brothers held on to each other and together fell into a peaceful sleep.

_I REALLY hope you liked it! Thank you so much for reading! *hug!* _

_The next chapter will be a request I got that is about Sam and Dean talking about the Voice Message. :)_


	25. The Voice Message

Prompt: Would you maybe think about tackling "The Voicemail" at some point? I think that in your 'verse they might actually finally get around to addressing all of their old hurts and this is a big one in my opinion. _This request made my heart soar because I've been wanting to have the boys talk about this since it happened. Thank you for the request! _

_I wanted to say, that without you wonderful people, I would never have gotten this far. When I posted the first chapter, I wasn't planning one writing anymore. Honestly, your encouraging words and kind reviews will forever make me smile and have helped me become a better writer. You are all SO sweet, I would never have gotten to chapter 25 without all you lovely people, thank you SO much! I love you!_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

_-I cannot lose you. Because if I ever did, I would have lost my best friend, my soul mate, my smile, my laugh, my everything-_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sammy was drunk.

Like, _really_ drunk.

Like, when-did-you-even-have-time-to-get-this-drunk drunk.

Dean had discovered a hiccupping Sam in their library, fiddling with a scotch bottle and seemingly not noticing his big brother trying to hide his amusement. "Bad day or did you find old scotch?" Dean questioned playfully, ruffling Sam's brown locks affectionately and grabbing the near empty bottle of Scotch that Sammy had apparently found and settling it in the cupboard.

"Well I lost my book, so I count that as a bad day." Sam slurred matter-of-factly, like drinking God only knows how old scotch was the obvious response for losing a book. For tall dorky nerds like Sam, maybe.

Dean figured that Sam needed a distraction from all that had happened to them both in the last few months. Hunts have been getting more gruesome, they lost good friends…And the whole "Darkness" situation that had come to happen after Death was killed, had left both brothers with no idea on how to stop it. If Sam needed a distraction, even if it's just for a few hours, Dean wasn't going to judge.

"So you're just I-found-scotch-drunk drunk then?" Dean smiled amusedly, kindly planting a kiss on his Sammy's hair before he wrapped his hands underneath Sam's biceps, pulling up from the table.

"Yessss." Sam slurred, nodding thoughtfully as he immediately started leaning towards his brother's warmth and swung an arm around Dean's back as his brother supported him towards their room. Drunk Sam was always amusing, however, Drunk Sam usually meant that by morning, Drunk Sam would turn into this-hangover-is-going-to-be-the-end-of-me Sam.

So the first thing on Dean's mind was to get his little brother to bed and as comfortable as possible before he started feeling ill.

"If you puke on me, I'm gonna have to kill ya." Dean joked, carefully maneuvering his brother out of the way of the walls.

"Like a dad said, dad you were gonna have to kill me…" Sam slurred almost incoherently, thankfully for him, Dean was fluent in drunk talk. Sam's neck was left unable to hold his own weight, leaving his head bobbing up and down. "And you said that he was right" Sam continued. "…I guess you're gonna have to kill me now, like you said you would before…"

Dean stopped walking at the quiet confession, his grip never faltering on his brother. Did Sam really just say that? When did Dean ever say that he would do that? Sam is his _brother_, how could he ever think that? "Sam, what are you talking about?" Dean's expression held enough shock for sober Sam to see he really had no idea what Sam was talking about.

Drunk Sam however…

"The voice message…" Sam said in a quiet tone, like the thought brought him pain." "The one you sent me the night I killed Lilith."

Dean stopped walking then. Voice message? The only one he sent to Sam that…night…was when he told Sam that they were brothers no matter what. And Sam still didn't come back. The thought still made his heart crack. He knew that no matter what, they would always love each other, and that neither could imagine their life without the other...so if whatever this message was, it had hurt Sam so deep that he hadn't told Dean about it, especially since they had started acting like soulmates, it must have hurt Sam pretty bad.

Clearing his throat, Dean stumbled for a reply. "What did I say in the message?" Dean questioned, his voice seemingly calm as he continued his walking to get them both to their room.

When they finally made in into their room, Dean's first instinct was to sit Sam down and beg him to know that whatever the hell Sam thought he had sent him in the message, that the real message was the exact opposite of that. But he doubted Sam would or even could remember anything they would talk about when he was this plastered. Gently settling Sam on the bed, lying Sam on his side, Dean sat behind his brother, rubbing his back in soothing circles and waiting for him to continue.

"Called me a bloodsucking freak…that's was true…gonna kill me and said you were done trying to save me…No going back to save me." Sam whispered the last words, still clinging to his brother's arm like the confession would have Dean let him fall and leave him alone.

"God, Sammy, I never said that." Dean insisted, horror twisting his insides at the thought of Sam believing that to be true. "I never said that, it wasn't me Sammy, I swear."

Sam said nothing, his eyelids winning the game of strength and he started snoring softly, Dean's words gone unnoticed by him.

"Sam?" Dean smoothed Sam's rebellious hair out from his sweaty forehead, seeing that Sam was sound asleep. His heart was feeling like a hand was wrapped around it, trying to squeeze his core until it burst. How could this have happened? How did his message get twisted and mangled to the point that-

Dean felt he was just punched in the gut.

The angels or Ruby…one or maybe even both must have changed the voice message. Pushed Sam to the brink which lead him to killing Lilith.

With one hand still rubbing Sam's spine, Dean's other hand started clasping his amulet, the metal figure offering comfort as he was lost in thought over this new information that Sam had been burdened with for years.

With Sam still sleeping off the alcohol induced slumber, Dean toed off his shoes and settled himself directly behind his snoring brother, wrapping his arms around Sam's torso and pulling him close. Hooking his chin over Sam's shoulder, Dean rested his head against his brother's, knowing that he wasn't going to get a wink of sleep tonight.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"Ugghhhh, I'm. Never. Drinking. Again."

"Pretty sure you say that every time you drink." Dean said, rubbing Sam's back in gently circles as he supported Sam back from their bathroom and on to their bed.

"Well this time I mean it." Sam muttered softly as he sat on the edge of the bed, Dean following his lead. He didn't get sick, thank God, but his stomach's aches sure had him fooled.

"And you say that every time you get sober." Dean's smile was forced, not wanting to talk about what happened last night until Sam was ready.

However, having a brother who was as in-tuned with him as he was with his brother, lead to them both being able to tell when the other is upset.

"Something wrong?" Sam asked worriedly.

After a few moments of silence, Dean couldn't keep quiet. "Do you remember what you talked about last night?" Dean asked softly, waiting until Sam had scooted his back against the headboard of the bed before continuing. "About…" Here Dean cut himself off, all his planning, all his thoughts on what to say to his baby brother forgotten and it takes all he can do not to tear up then and there.

Sam notices this and is immediately on alert, ready to do anything to help his brother. "Dean, what's wrong?"

"Do you remember talking about the voicemail?"

Sam didn't even need to ask what message they were talking about.

He knew.

Sam turned his head away, swallowing his bile at the thought of the message again. He memorized it by heart even though the message was destroyed when he broke his phone weeks later. It was the message that made him understand just how badly, how painfully, he had broken his brother. Sam had trusted a demon skank over his own flesh and blood. How could Dean ever forgive himself for that? The knowledge that he had brought along the apocalypse was an afterthought, all he could think of was what he had done to Dean and how he had broke Dean, had broken his trust.

"I never said that to you." Dean declares, moving closer to Sam while they sat side by side on the bed. Sam still can't bring himself to look at his brother, instead keeps his sight on his knee, playing with a hole that had devolved over the years. "I promise you, I never said that, please believe me. You're not a freak, you're my _brother_, my _family_."

"I know…" Sam said in a whisper. "I always thought that it didn't sound like you, that it didn't _feel_ like you, but...after what I did…After all I did to hurt our bond…I thought-I was afraid-that even for a moment…I had lost you." Sam stopped there, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. "It made sense why you would say that…I never asked you about it because-I was terrified of your answer would be…"

"Sam," Dean said in a soft voice, hoping Sam didn't notice the crack in his voice. His hands still holding to his emotionally exhausted brother. "I-I never said that." Dean wrapped his fingers around the nape of Sam neck, turning Sam's head tenderly so he could see he was telling the truth. Tightening his hold on his brother's face, his eyes pierced into Sam's pained gaze.

"I would _never_, _ever_, say that to you. That is never something I would do or say. I _love_ you. I always have and I always will." Dean's words are spoken with such love, such truth, he has no doubt in his mind that his brother is being honest to him. "Whoever sent that message-Ruby, Zach, or any other winged dicks-" Sam give a watery laugh at that (only Dean would make him smile when he wants nothing more than to lay down and sob for a week). "I would bring them back to life just so I could stab them in the face again. You are my brother, and no matter what you did or do, I will always be there for you. I will always love you."

The fear and dread bled away from Sam at his brother's promise, of his vow that he had kept ever since he was born. Trails of tears fell from Sam's eyelashes. "Dean…" came out, choked full of emotion.

Dean reaches his hands over to place them on either side of Sam's face as he leans in, resting his forehead against Sam's. Sam's fingers reach up and grip the nape of his brother's neck, tucking his head against Dean's chest as he allowed his tears to fall freely, noticing that he also felt wetness on the top of his head, from Dean's tears.

The truth was finally out. There was no uncertainty of if Dean was lying. Sam knew with all his heart that his brother, his soulmate, was telling him the reality. With an exhale Sam didn't even know he was holding, he and Dean stayed in their position for a long time, at peace, and holding the one person in the world that they needed.

_I'm really hoping you liked this! Thank you again for the prompt, I love getting them. _

_The next prompt I got was a fic with a teenaged Sam getting hurt for the first time on a hunt. _

_Have a beautiful day! *hug!*_


	26. Pain Can Affect Two People

Prompt: Maybe you can write about the first time Sam (as a teenager) got hurt on a hunt. I like when Dean challenges John about Sammy's well-being.

_Thank you so much for the prompt! I love getting them so SO much! I hope you like it! _

Fourteen year old Sam shivered, not noticing his big brother Dean started unwinding his own scarf and handing it to him until he felt a gentle nudge on his coat sleeve. "No, I'm fine-"

"Course you are." Dean drawled, his arm still holding out the plaid scarf. "We'll wait a few more minutes, then head back to the motel." Dean either didn't try to hide his concern for their dad or he was failing at keeping up his usually strong walls in the presences of his little brother.

John had called both boys from their newest motel room via a payphone. John had told them that he needed them _now_, and he about a mile away into the forest that was practically next door to their motel. John had said it was an emergency and to get there as soon as possible.

That was an hour ago.

And he never showed.

When Sam didn't answer Dean moved closer to his little brother and started wrapping the scarf around Sam's neck, tugging it gently around Sam's exposed skin to keep him warm. Sam couldn't hide the relief of the warmth that surround him and he smiled gratefully at Dean's thoughtful gesture before concern quickly took over his features again. "If this hunt was so bad, why didn't he just leave?" Sam asked worriedly, looking up at Dean as if he had all the answers.

And God, for Sam, he wished he did.

Needing to keep strong for Sam, Dean shrugged a shoulder, seemingly unperplexed by their father's delay. "Eh, I'm thinking he just solved whatever the hunt was himself and probably headed back to the motel." Dean scoffed. "I bet he's wondering where _we_ are."

Sam's expression instantly relaxed at the thought and he laughed, seemingly accepting that as an answer as he tugged the scarf up higher on his neck. Dean wrapped an arm around his little brother's shoulders, kindly rubbing his hand up and down to draw some heat for Sam.

"You should worry about yourself." Sam said softly, concern evident in his tone as he moved his hand out of his pocket and intertwined their fingers together, his worry rising when he felt how cold Dean's fingers were even covered with gloves. Dean was surprised by the motion; usually Sam found himself "too old" for that kind of affectionate gesture nowadays, which further proved that Sam was worried about him.

"Don't worry about me." Dean smiled kindly, hoping his body didn't betray him and start shuttering in the cold.

"Somebody has to." Sam mumbled lowly, almost too low for Dean's ears to hear.

Almost.

Abruptly in the darkness, a scream was heard. Loud and too close for comfort. Both brothers' positions quickly snapped into attack mode. Dean pulled out his knife from his jeans and Sam reached into his coat pocket to unscrew the lid of Holy water from their dad's flask. They knew the difference between a human scream and a supernatural scream.

That was no human scream.

A gunshot was heard throughout the forest and a voice that both brother's recognized instantly.

"Dad?" Dean yelled, lowering his knife for a moment in confusion.

"Get down!" John screamed, bother of his sons obeying without question as he fired again, this time hitting his target that was hidden in the tree.

What looked like a human woman had fallen in front of the boys, sending out a hiss that was directed towards the tall figure that was known as John Winchester.

The bullets missed the creature by seconds as she disappeared, screeching in fury over this attack. The monster moved passed John with ease, heading towards the boys. Sam and Dean stood back to back with either other, only John saw her heading towards the boys.

He wasn't fast enough.

She pushed her arm out, still fleeing from John and in her waste swiped her arm towards Sam, sending him spiraling towards the nearest tree. The impact was heard with an audible smack and Sam fell to the ground, limply.

"SAM!"

Dean rushed over to his fallen brother, harshly falling to his knees on the ground and delicately pulling Sam into his lap. Nononononono- "Sam-Oh God, Sammy-"

Sam hissed in pain, his hand pushing against his head. Blood was seeping past his fingers,

"Okay Sammy, I need to see the wound." Dean tried to keep his voice calm, couldn't make Sam more upset. He was hurt-he was hurt and it was Dean's fault.

Sam nodded his head sharply) which was a mistake as the movement brought along a throbbing headache), slowly moving his hand away from the injury. Neither brother noticed that John had killed whatever the creature was, currently was ridding them of the body.

Dean thought a silent prayer of thanks to whoever was listening as he saw the slash the tree branch had left on his head. Deep enough to bleed but thankfully not lethal. Some Ibuprofen and Sam would be fine.

"Is he okay?"

Dean turned his head towards John's concerned voice, watching him sway from the harsh attack that he had clearly walked away from victorious as he observed his two sons.

"What were you thinking?" Dean seethed, pulling Sam up closer, resting his forehead against Dean's chest as he continued to cradle the side of his baby brother's head. He knew exactly what their father had really called them here for, had known the moment he saw the creature. He didn't need help.

He needed bait.

"If you had stayed in one place-"

"Why didn't you just tell us that you needed us for a hunt?! That we were bait!?" Dean roared, his fingers still running gently through Sam's hair, on the uninured side of his head. It amazed John that Dean's words were screaming for attack yet his actions were so tender, so loving.

"This thing was a "mother" changeling, she would only show up if there were kids, kids like Sam's age, I knew that you wouldn't let Sam go alone, so I just called for both of you. I knew you would take care of Sam-"

"How could you put _him_ in danger?" Dean snarled, almost ripping off his jacket in order to take it off and fold it up and tenderly, positioning it on Sam's injury, stopping anymore bleeding that could happen. "You put _him_ in danger, you willingly put him in danger!" Dean seethed, his face contorted with rage. The thought didn't make sense, how could John allow Sam to be so close to danger. This wasn't himself they were talking about, this was _Sammy_.  
"Dean…" John started off warningly. This behavior coming from Dean was shocking. From Sam, he could see that, Sam usually was trying to tell him off for one thing or another, mainly for his "actions" towards Dean, there was nothing wrong with pushing his eldest towards being the best hunter he could be. "I am your father, and I know you may not agree with what I did, but it was either this or countless of other kids getting killed. I wouldn't let Sam get hurt, you know that."

"You just did!" Dean yelled. Sam slid his fingers past the jacket and brushed his fingers against the open wound on his head, trying to feel how bad it was yet the sting had him let out a soft groan. Dean immediately snapped his head towards the sound, tenderly removing Sam fingers from his head. Reaching into his jacket pocket, Dean pulled out Sam's fingers from the wound and affectionately pressed the jacket against the wound, wishing there was a quick way to stop the pain. It wasn't deadly, it wasn't even hospital worthy, but Sam was hurt and it didn't matter if it wasn't an emergency. John had gotten Sam hurt.

"Dean…" John started again. How was he supposed to have Dean understand that this was too important, that they had to kill as many creatures that they could get their hands on?

"You can go to hell." Dean growled, pulling Sam even closer against is chest, his arms still tightly wrapped around Sam's shoulders and chest in a possessive manner. John actually had to take a step back. Never, even when they were hunting true monsters, had John ever seen such hatred, such anger, on his oldest boy's face.

"If you ever pulled this stunt on Sam again…" Dean didn't finished. He didn't have to. The threat was obvious, hanging over John's head like a dagger.

Without another word, Dean wordlessly slid one arm under Sam's legs, and the other arm around Sam's back, effortlessly picking his baby brother up from the cold ground. Sam let a quiet whine but instantly simmered down as he nuzzled against Dean's chest; knowing that he was safe, that he was home.

Dean walked straight past John, but not before sending a furious glare his way. They made their way to the Impala; Sam half-asleep and Dean carrying his precious burden oh-so carefully as they finally made their way to the car. John opened the door for the boys before getting into the driver's seat.

"Dean look," John began, needing to get this out in the open. "I needed to do this for the hunt, innocent people would have died-"

"Just drive, we'll talk about this later." Dean ordered a stunned John but he remained silent, not disagreeing. Sam was still in Dean's hold, neither brother's embrace faltering on each other. Quietly, John started the car and they drove into the night.

Throughout the ride there was an unbearable silence, even half-conscious Sam could feel the tension though he knew it best not to say anything until they got back to their temporary home. He curled in deeper by Dean's side as he remained in Dean's lap, fighting to stay awake from his brother health, knowing that if he fell unconscious Dean would go frantic.

Finally, after what felt like years of a tense silence, they made it back. Dean said nothing to their father as John opened the door for Dean as he continued to cradle Sam into their "home" and took him on their room, kicking the door shut before John could follow them.

Sometime later, after Dean had cleaned the wound and carefully wrapped bandages around Sam's head, Dean brushed his fingers across the white bandages.

"Does it hurt?" Dean inquired. Eighteen years old and yet he was still able to look like a four years old with just his eyes.

Sam smiled gently, resting a hand on Dean's knee. "Yeah, just stings now." He answered honestly. Though relieved, Dean still wasn't feeling any better. Sam had gotten hurt on his watch. How could he ever forgive himself for that? His father was a different subject entirely, he had purposely used his own sons as bait. If it was just Dean, he could forgive John, understand it even, but never could he forgive someone for hurting Sam, not even his dad.

Dean rested his hand over Sam's, smiling for his big brother. "Thank you." Sam softly said under his breath.

Dean looked at Sam, confused. What could Sam thank him for? He almost got him killed. "For what?"

_For always being there for me. For defending me in front of dad. For taking care of me, now and all the years before. For being you._

"Just cause." Sam whispered solemnly, praying that was answer enough for Dean to understand what he really meant.

Dean smiled, brushing a stray strand of brown hair from Sam's face, his hand lingering on Sam's cheek, knowing what Sam really meant. "Of course Sammy. Always." Dean vowed, his true, wonderful smile on his face, the smile that he only used in front of Sammy, for Sammy.

Sam's smile stayed in place, even when he laid down on the bed and closed his eyes because he knew Dean wasn't going to be far away. Dean couldn't bring himself to leave Sam alone, maybe not for a while. He carded his fingers through Sam's hair, soothing him to a peaceful sleep. When he heard Sam's breathing even out, he knew he had fallen to slumber.

Dean stayed in the bed the rest of the night, Sam lying in his side while sleeping whereas Dean rested his back against the headboard of the bed, watching over Sam, just like always.

_Thank you so much for reading!_

_Next chapter is a request I received for i__s for __a tag to season 1 episode 10 (Asylum) from after Sam had shot Dean. _


	27. After The Asylum

I was wondering if you could do a tag to season 1 episode 10 (Asylum) when Sam shot Dean? I really wished we would have gotten more of a brotherly moment between the two

_Ooooooo, I love this prompt! I'm so honored that there are people who trust me to write their requests! I like writing chapters about Sam and Dean before they accepted being like soulmates because then I can kinda show how they got to where they are now in this story. _

_I hope you like it! *hug!*_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

-_when he asked me what I thought souls looked like, all I could think of that mine must look like him- (My first attempt and writing a soulmate based poem. Hope it's good. __ )_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam was silent was Dean drove the Impala back to their hotel room. He was silent as they walked into their motel room and he was silent as Dean said a mumbled explanation of going to take a shower to clean out the salt.

Dean left without another word, bringing his duffel bag with him to grab a change of clothes and locking the door behind him with an audible click.

Tears filling up his eyes, Sam angrily swiped them away, looking at the locked door like it was a locked barrier between him and his brother. God, he wanted to say something, _anything_, to fix this…but what can you say to the one person you would die for in a heartbeat, right after you had almost killed him in cold blood? Sam sat on the edge of his bed, his elbows supported by resting them on his knees and he covers his face with his hands, trying hard to stifle the sounds of his sobs. How could Dean ever forgive him after that? Sam doesn't believe the things that Ellicott had him say, he would _never_ think those horrible things about Dean, never to _Dean_.

Sam let out another muffled sniff, his attempts at remaining quiet suddenly forgotten. Dean would probably leave him after this, and how could he _not_? His own _brother_ had pulled a gun on him and was about to kill him. Shoot him like some animal and leave him there to rot. Would Dean believe him if he told him that if he had actually succeed in killing his own brother, that he would have turned the gun on himself the moment he got his sense back? Because there is no doubt in Sam's mind that if that had happened, Sam wouldn't be alive right now.

Dean sighs as he moves his ear from the door, a pang of guilt hitting his heart at the knowledge that his coldness was part of making Sam sob in the other room. Unconsciously his left hand reaches up and holds his amulet in between his fingers, the feel of the bronze soothing him slightly.

His instincts scream at him to go into that room right now and do whatever it takes to have Sam stop crying, but the other part of him, the part of him that knows Sam better than anyone, knows Sam needs some space, at least for a little while.

A muffled groan escapes Dean's lips as he takes of his now torn shirt, the salt still buried deep into his bare chest and he curses under his breath knowing from his past experiences that it's gonna take a while to pull them all out.

The salt buried into his fresh wounds still stings almost as much as the sight of seeing his Sammy pull the trigger of his own weapon three times at him. Dean blinks back angry tears at the memory, because he knew they were all true. Quickly he turns on the showers on to cover up the sounds of his sharp inhale as he starts using tweezers to dig the salt grounds out of his chest before finally getting into the bath.

The sight of his Sam, saying what Dean knows deep down is all true, hurts him more than any other scar he has on his body. Sure, he's still hurt, broken even, by Sam's words, but he can't let Sam think that he's still angry at him. Sam was only saying what he knows is true. How could Sam not think those things?

Dean is no hero…he never will be. He ruined Sam's chance at a normal life, got his girlfriend killed, and is now dragging him across state after state to look for their father, who doesn't even want to be with his own kids…or maybe it was just Dean he was avoiding. It made more sense that he wanted to elude Dean…

Dean comes back a while later, much later then his usual showers take (and Sam knows he shouldn't know things like that about his brother but he doesn't care if it's not normal) fully clothed in a clean shirt and jeans, plopping himself on his own bed and keeping his gaze away from his brother and the hard swallows of Sam trying in vain to keep back tears.

That of course doesn't last long.

He turns his sight onto to Sam who is sitting dejectedly on his bed and he looks up at Dean, silent and miserable and his eyes looking so damn close to sobbing. And God help Dean, he can never stay mad at his baby brother when he pulls out the Puppy Dog card, had a hard enough time staying mad at Sam anytime actually.

"Sam…" Dean sighs, his words and tone quickly failing at staying calm and resolute. His emotions had a hard time staying cold when it was involved with his baby brother. But he can't allow himself to break, can't show Sam how much those words hurt. "I-" he tries again.

But Sam doesn't allow him to get far.

"I'm sorry." Sam cuts him off, his face holding pure pain and he doesn't bother to hide his tears, full-on sobbing now as he reaches over the gap between their beds to grabs Dean's wrist. The grip is tight and possessive and Dean finds himself not caring. "I'm so sorry, please believe me, I'm so sorry. I don't think those things, please I promise I've never thought that about you, ever." Sam moves from the bed, falling on his knees in front of Dean who is still sitting on his own bed, staring at Sam like he doesn't know what to do.

"Don't go, please _please_ don't leave me." And Sammy is on his knees, his head against Dean's stomach sobbing and begging and promising and Dean's composure just _breaks_.

How could Sam ever think that Dean would leave him? Sam was more than just his family, it was like Sam was a part of his soul, so intertwined that they able to know what the other was thinking, wanted, and needed. It doesn't take a genius to see that Sam regrets leaving Dean and going off to college. It would hurt if Sam choice to go back to Stanford, but this time, there was no way he was going alone. Dean would find a way to stay. Maybe he could find hunts in that state and still be in Sam's life…if that's what Sammy wanted…

Dean brings his fingers around the nape of Sam's neck and his fingers and tangled around Sam's hair, the same touch he always gives Sam to keep him strong and safe; it holds him up and keeps his head above water when Sam can't do it alone. And Sam hopes to God that Dean knows that.

His big brother sucks in a sharp inhale, trying in vain to keep his eyes dry and his appearance composed but how can he when Sam is here? His Sammy was home and here and how could he ever think that Sam would mean those words.

Dean understands, of course he understands, that Sam was hurt and angry and hates this hunting life but his Sammy also would never try to kill him, would never hurt a human being.

But…Dean isn't just _any_ human…he's Sam's brother…Dean wants with all his heart to believe that Sam cares for him the same way he cares for Sam…after what happened with Ellicott Dean wasn't sure…but _now_? With Sam begging him to believe him, sobbing against Dean's stomach and holding him tightly as if Dean would (or even could) just up and leave him alone?

How could he _not_ believe him?

"I'm so sorry." Sam whispers timidly, his voice wet and breaking as his face was still buried against Dean's abdominal, tears soaking into Dean's clean shirt. "I'm so sorry, I don't hate you, never could hate you…please don't leave me, please…" Sam's fingers are still gripping Dean's wrist and it feels like he'll never let go, still sobbing against Dean's collarbone. He could never correctly form the words to describe how much he needed Dean.

Yes, he told Dean he had only come with him to find their father…but how could he ever leave Dean again? The fact that despite Sam leaving for Standard, Dean wanted _him_ and _him_ alone to find their dad. The fact that Dean still _loved_ him and _trusted_ him made Sam's heart feel like it could burst.

Dean keeps silent, his hand still cupping the back of his baby brother's neck as he curves his body over them in a possessive manner. It was protective, loving. "It's okay Sammy, it's okay. We're okay, I believe you Sam, it's okay, it's alright."

And with that vow from his brother's lips, Sam's fear and pain melts away and he lets out a breath he doesn't even know he's holding.

They don't move for a long time.


	28. Belated Wishes

_I've had this idea a while ago, but I finally just had time to write it! I hope you like it!_

_-He is more myself than I am._

_Whatever our souls are made of,_

_his and mine are the same.-_

_-Wuthering Heights_

Dean leaned against the doorway to the kitchen with his arms lightly crossed across his chest. Dean was awake earlier than usual; nightmares were frequently the cause of his lack of peaceful sleep. Thankfully, ever since the Winchester brothers agreed to share the same bed since their change in their lifestyle, a full night's sleep had come easier for both boys.

Unfortunately for him, Dean had awoken from dreams of blood, pain, and black eyes, only to see that he was alone on the bed. Kicking off the covers, Dean had wondered into their kitchen in search for his brother, and what he found made him realize that he was either still asleep or this was really happening right now.

Sammy…was cooking.

Sam, his little brother who hardly made anything that wasn't a salad or some strange vegan crap (that always left Dean absolutely starving and needing to sneak out for a midnight run of fast-food nearby), was currently in their kitchen, frying up what looked like really, _really_ tasty looking hamburgers.

This could be either very good or very bad.

Dean had woken up at eight in the morning to follow the very distinctive and delicious smell of red meat being cooked and saw the sight of Sam in front of their stove staring intently at the frying food.

Dean quietly made his way towards his brother, slipping his arms closely around Sam's waist and hooking his chin over Sammy's shoulder. Sam started slightly at the surprising contact before relaxing and leaning his head against Dean's, closing his eyes peacefully.

"I always thought it was my job to make food." Dean said lightheartedly, brushing his lips softly against Sam's cheek as he looked over Sam's broad shoulder.

Leaning into the gentle lips that were against his cheek, Sam shrugged gently at Dean's statement, opening his hazel eyes and looking at his brother out of the corner of his pleased eyes. "Thought you deserved a break, De." Sam said softly, his nickname for his brother caused Dean to beam.

Dean nodded though he didn't buy it. "How long have you been up?" Dean asked, patting Sam's chest as a sigh that he was going to move away before ruffling Sam's hair affectionately, then moving a step back to sit by the table, but not before Sam towed at his wrist and pulled him into for a peck on his forehead.

Shrugging a shoulder like it wasn't a big deal, Sam answered. "Only about an hour." Sam turned his head to smile at Dean before going back to his culinary work.

Dean nodded to himself, impressed that Sammy remembered how to properly cook from the lessons he had been helping him with. Dean still proudly thought himself as the cook of the house, but he made sure Sam was getting there too. He had taught him when they both were kids but it was more simple stuff, things that they could afford while dad was gone. Now that they had their new home, Dean took it as his big brother responsibility to teach him all that he knew about "managing" a household. Not that Sam minded at all. Dean was his father, brother, and teacher growing up when Sam was a kid and that still hasn't changed to this day. If he could teach Sammy to fix car then by golly he was going to learn how to eat proper food.

"Here you go." Sam muttered happily as he set down two plates of the most mouthwatering food Dean had laid eyes on in a while. Dean had to bit his bottom lip to keep from letting out a happy sigh at the sight.

"I have something for you." Sam said happily as he was getting the forks. (Not like Dean was going to use them but he wasn't going to say that to his little brother.)

"I know, these look awesome." Dean agreed, beaming at his little brother and was full of pride.

"No, I mean something else." Sam corrected eagerly, unable to contain his toothy grin. He left the table in a rush and went into the living room before returning just as quick, holding something carefully in his hands.

"These are for you." Sam said happily, almost bouncing in anticipation as he held out a rounded looking wrapped gift, setting it in his surprised brother's hands. It was wrapped carefully and methodically, something that Dean couldn't never have the patience for, as long as it covered the gist, who cares? But since it was Sammy who was giving it to him, he wasn't thinking that at all.

Dean gasped slightly as he held the beautifully wrapped gift with a small green bow in his hands like it was the most breakable object he had ever been given. "Is it okay?" Dean's tone sounded child-like, seeking permission before opening it. Sam beamed at the question before nodding eagerly.

Beaming, Dean gently started pulling apart the wrapping paper before his eyes widen in shock. There, in his hands, was were four actual classic rock cassette albums. AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Bon Jovi, all his, not his dad's, _his_.

Sam always knew that Dean never considered the cassette tapes as his own, Dean never said anything out loud, but Sam was his brother, of course he was going to know this. The tapes were always his dad, but this? Sam had ensured that his big brother had somethings that was _his, _not their dads, not part of the families, just _his_.

Sitting at the table completely speechless for a few moments, Dean gently set them down on the dining table and threw his arms around his brother, almost crushing him in his excitement. Sam instantly held on to Dean, his fingers gripping his brother's shirt. Dean hadn't said it aloud, but ever since they started the "soulmate" thing, each of the embraces always felt better than the last ones. It was full of safety, tenderness, and a love just _so_ pure that Dean didn't even know how he of all people was gifted with it.

They stayed in the position for several minutes, neither brother wanting to be the first to move away.

"Wha- What's this for?" Dean asked, a huge grin on his face as he reluctantly ended the embrace, moving back from Sam with his hands still tenderly on either side of Sam's broad shoulders.

"Well," Sam started, a small, prideful blush on his cheeks from Dean's genuine gratitude. "It's for your birthday."

Dean cocked his head to the side, slight confusion in his green eyes at the answer. "That was months ago." Dean replied, unsure if he heard right.

"Well, we didn't celebrate it. I know we didn't _really_ do proper birthdays before we started" Sam waved a hand between the two of them, trying to explain their newfound "acting like soulmates" actions in the simple gesture. It had helped them see thing in a better light, had shown them how to appreciate things more carefully, and how to show love.

"But, I thought we should fix that." Sam smiled softly, placing his own hand atop of Dean's as it still resided affectionately on Sam's shoulder. "You did it for me, so I think it's high time for yours, even though it's a bit late." Sam added apologetically although he knew from Dean's enthusiastic expression that he didn't mind.

Dean grinned, moving his hands back to once again hold his gift lovingly. Sam beamed at the gesture, pleased to know he made a good choice. Sam observed Dean's green eyes, bright with excitement and pleasure that Sam couldn't make himself look away. It was such a wonderful gift to see his brother's smile. It always awoken something inside of him that wanted to do whatever it took to make him smile again.

His big brother looked at his gift again with enthusiasm before turning back to Sammy with pure, unadulterated love in his expression, completely dedicated to his brother. "Thank you Sammy, they're awesome." Dean whispered honestly, reaching over the tabletop for their hands to connect and intertwine their fingers together.

Sam squeezed Dean's hand securely, lifting Dean's fingers to his mouth to press his lips against them, saying nothing although his bright smile said it all. _Love you big brother._

_The next chapter will be the request I got for at the end of Repo Man where Dean wakes up and sees Sam while he is hallucinating Lucifer. :) _

_I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day!_


	29. Keep The Voices At Bay

Prompt: Do you think you could do one that happens at the end of Repo Man where Dean wakes up and sees Sam while he is hallucinating Lucifer. I always wished Dean had woken up, and comforted Sam

_I love this idea! It is perfect!_

-_Brother let me be your shelter  
I'll never leave you all alone  
I can be the one you call  
When you're low  
Brother let me be your fortress  
When the night winds are driving on  
Be the one to light the way  
Bring you home__-_

_-Need to Breathe_

"Damn straight, screw consciousness that's what I say." Dean mumbled into the comforter, his feet dangling off of the side of the bed limply. Dean smiled softly to himself, hearing Sam chuckle under his breath from the bed behind him. It was such a pleasure to hear Sam laugh. It didn't happened nearly as often and when it did, Dean thought the world seemed brighter.

After the day they had, sleep was going to be a damn gift.

He sighed against the bed, feeling his sore body protest as he tried to move into a proper sleeping position. Dean was, simple put, exhausted. He was drain, he was tired, and he was ready to sleep for a year, two would be better but hey, he wasn't picky when he had a bed. The last few week, _hell_ months, have hardly allowed either brother to get enough rest. Dean had to practically force Sam to bed most nights and Sam often threated to spike Dean's coffee with sleeping pills when Dean had gone too long without rest.

Yes, Dean was exhausted...but still aware enough to hear the sounds behind him of his baby brother's sniffled whimpers and the sound of his practically tearing at his flesh.

"Sammy?" Dean mumbled sleepily, reluctantly pushing himself off from his bed; too intoned into his little brother's emotions to miss Sam's fear. The sight he was greeted with sent him straight into Big Brother Mode, something he never grew out of.

Sam was hunched over his bed, his spine bend over to the point that his head was in between his knees, still pressing painfully into his scar on the palm of his hand until tears of pain leaked from Sam's eyes. Sam could feel the heat. The fire felt hot it was all around him and while he knew it wasn't here, that the heat and Lucifer weren't really here, it all felt too real, too painful. And he needed Dean. He needed him to ground him, protect him. Sam felt four years old again; waiting for Dean to pick him up from school after a bad day because only Dean could make him smile the fastest, to laugh the quickest, to feel more loved than he had ever felt in is life…and that hasn't changed to this day.

Sam was too distracted to notice that his whimpers had caught his big brother's attention, causing Dean to sit up from his bed. Sam looking so _scared_ and so hopeless instantly unleashed Dean's primal and protective side and all signs of his previous weariness left Dean, and his concern for Sam replaced all other emotions. Sleep wasn't nearly as important when it came to his Sammy being hurt.

Dean silently moved from his own bed, passing the gap that was between them and sitting down on Sam's bed, positioning himself so close to Sam that their knees knocked against each other. Sam's head shot up when he felt the touch, red eyes hooked on Dean's as they implored for the only person he needed more than anyone to help him escape this nightmare that wouldn't seem to end.

He hates that he can't do anything to ease Sam's suffering; that other than pushing against his scar, Dean was helpless against these attacks. Well, Dean couldn't do anything about these hallucinations but he'll be damned if he doesn't protect Sammy with all that he's got.

Dean moves over as carefully as he can without scaring Sam worse than he already is and starts by gently put an arm around Sam's quivering back, as lightly as he could Dean started rubbing up and down Sam's spine, eventually feeling his brother's body slowly start to stop shaking and his erratic breathing started slowing. Dean pulled him close so his head could rest on Dean's collarbone. He over-exaggerated his breathing, knowing that if Sam felt it his chest rise up and down evenly, his own would soon follow suit. Sam had easily complied, seemingly bonelessly falling against Dean's warm' solid body. Breathe in…breathe out….breathe in…breathe out…

Dean his back his relieved sigh when he saw Sam closing his eyes in peacefulness. He thought that maybe he could help Sammy fall to an easy sleep when he felt his baby brother suddenly stiffed, every part of his body tensed up and Dean quickly let go as if he had been burned. "I'm sorry," Dean said quickly, terrified that he had done something wrong, overstep boundaries, and did something-anything-that had upset Sam. "Did I hurt-"

"No-no it wasn't you!' Sam promised, his eyes widening in fear, thinking Dean would leave him because of his distress. Quickly grabbing Dean's jacket sleeve in a desperate hold, Sam found himself unwilling to be away from Dean even for a second more. It was too much. Being away from each other did nothing but cause pain on them, one way or another. He couldn't do it anymore and he knew Dean felt the same way.

"It was just-he-he was saying…" Here Sam swallowed, looking down at his own knees, unable to go on as his whole body shook with fatigue and fear over the threats that Lucifer was currently singing about doing to Dean, of all the horrors he would inflict to Dean, the same horrors that Dean himself had told Sam he feared. Clearly whatever _he _said, it had affected his brother.

If that monster was in physical form, Dean would have been more than happy to strangle him with his own guts. Instead, when he saw Sam's eyes shift towards the side of the room, to where Dean is sure that's where Lucifer is standing, taunting and hurting his brother.

And down to the core of his being, down to his freaking bones, came a knowledge of something that he has known since his mother put his Sammy in his arms back when he was four years old, even before the fire, it was a truth. One simple truth.

_No_ _one_ hurts Sammy.

Dean reached his hand out and cupped the nape of Sam's neck, fingers tangling themselves in Sam's brown floppy hair, his grip strong and steady and firm because he's not going anywhere. Dean gently turns his little brother's head so Sam can see Dean and only Dean. Not Lucifer, not anything, just Dean. "Well, tell 'Luci' that you have more important things to do then listen to that ex-winged dick talk your ear off."

Sam gave a watery laugh at his big brother insulting Satan (whose mouth fell open in mock hurt), gently shoving at Dean's shoulder before his fingers stayed in place, holding the fabric of Dean's jacket. Dean smiled softly, pulling Sam again towards him as he used light enough force that Sam could pull away if he was uncomfortable. That if being touched was making things worse, Sam could evade his brother's hold.

Sam, of course, did no such thing.

Dean pulled Sam close to him, holding him tightly and at the same time so delicately, protecting him and keeping him from falling apart all at once. Slowly, unconscious even, they both fell on their sides in sync, chest to chest as they held each other on the bed. The comforting warmth that was only located by his brother consumed Sam, making him feel safe, making even Satan himself fell silent at the sight of such a bond.

"Awww, how cute." Lucifer voice abruptly sneered into Sam's ears; apparently unable to remain quiet for long periods of time. Sam kept his eyes closed, ignoring that voice and feeling the solidity of his brother and knowing that Dean was real. "I can't wait until I get my hands on your brother…it will be fun to watch both your faces as I slit his throat…no wait, that's too kind" Lucifer paused here, seemingly lost in thought, thinking of anyways to hurt Sam in any emotional or mental way possible. _Shut up, _Sam begged, knowing it would do nothing but he needed to at least try; Lucifer could say all he wanted to Sam but please God, leave his brother out of this. _Leave me alone, leave Dean alone, please just stop-_"…hey quick question, how do hell hounds sound? I know he enjoyed them oh-so much last time."

Sam flinched suddenly at the memory of the hounds digging into Dean's flesh, tearing into his body, killing his brother while at the same time killing Sam. He had lost Dean…he had lost himself. Sam quickly started burying his head further into the pillow, moving closer to his big brother's devoted touch.

Dean bit back his growl at the knowledge that Lucifer was still trying to make Sam feel like he was going insane. As carefully as he could, Dean brought his hand up and tenderly rested his hand to cup the back of Sam's neck, moving his head closer so that their foreheads could touch. His thumb soothed back and forth against Sam's line of stress on his brow, calming them away with just a touch of his hand. Showing Sam that _this_, this right here, is real, that he is here and alive and safe and so _so_ loved.

Lucifer's taunts faded into the background, and all Sam knew was that he was safe with his Dean. only his big brother could make him feel this safe so easily, it was like second nature to his brother. Dean's gift was his ability to love so _so_ strongly.

Sam gave a weak yet grateful smile to his big brother, looking at Dean like he was the answer to all his prayers. "Thank you De…" Sam whispered hoarsely, the sight of his big brother bringing comfort to him.

"Anytime little brother." Dean promised lovingly, stroking Sam's cheek protectively as he smiles softly. The physical connected soothing him. Sam scooted even closer to Dean, still resting their foreheads together. Together, their hearts beating as one, Sam slowly felt himself fall into a deep sleep. As Sam felt himself fall closer and closer into slumber. Didn't worry about Lucifer or night terrors or thoughts of going insane. They didn't even cross his mind.

Because he was safe in his big brother's arms. He was loved. He was protected. And he knew that was never going to change.


	30. Reunited

_I got two request for the same episode tag (9x7 Bad Boys) so I'm going to morph them together. I hope that it is okay! This is such a cool request, this episode was so good! _

What happen after Dean decided to go with them. Maybe Sammy have been barely sleeping and eating because his big brother wasn't with him. Bobby did everything he could, but Dean was the only one that could fix Sammy.

I'd like to see a scene/tag from 9x07 Bad Boys that takes place right after Dean sees Sam in the car from his window and decides to leave the boys home to stay with him. I'd really like to see how you portray these two reuniting (especially since Sam didn't know where Dean had gone or what happened to him)!

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_-Have you loved someone so deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden and all to yourself?- unknown_

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John watched silently, staring at his sleeping son as he looked with a worried expression. Ever since he had left Dean at the boy's home those few weeks ago, Sam hasn't been able to eat or sleep. His youngest was a nervous wreak being without his brother and this was all John's doing. This here was a rare moment where sleep got the better of Sam and he practically collapsed on the bed due to complete exhaustion. John watched with a painful pang to his heart when he noticed a toy plane gripped in his son's hands. It was a gift from Dean for his birthday years ago; Sam had it as a source of comfort, which he was holding every day until he got his brother back.

The first night that they spent without Dean, Sam had been in tears, screaming and demanding where his brother was. It had surprised John, he had seen Sam angry at him before but this was a whole new level. John had never seen Sam like this. So full of anger…and it wasn't aimed towards a monster or some supernatural creature…it was aimed towards him.

"Where is Dean?!" Sam had screamed, standing up to John despite being so much shorter than his father. He had grabbed the collar of the leather jacket of John's, fury on his face and hate in his eyes directed to the man who was separating him and his brother. "What did you do to him?!"

"I did nothing." John said, his lie seen instantly by Sam.

"No, tell me the truth! Where is Dean?! Where is my brother?!"

When John didn't answer him the second time, Sam was about to believe the absolute worst when John finally responded that Dean was going to be gone for a while, but they would get him back. He didn't say when. And that wasn't good enough.

Sam never stopped asking. He asked every single day and John refused to answer every single day. Sam stopped going to school and John didn't push him. When Sam stopped eating that was when John was worried. He knew that leaving Dean behind was going to cause problems between him and his youngest but he never suspected that it would be this horrendous. John had stopped going on harder hunts since he either needed a backup (like Dean) or he needed someone he trusted to watch over Sammy (like Dean).

Sam stopped eating by the first week. He picked at his food and took a bite or two before leaving the table without a word, sending a death glare at John before leaving. The lack of sleep John didn't know when it started but he noticed it when Sam would be up at all hours of the night, mulling over books of creature or reading John's journal. John tried to talk to him, tell him everything was going to be okay but really, only Dean could do that.

It was always like that. Dean was the only one who could calm him down, who could make him feel safe, who made him feel loved and cared for like a real loved one. Dean was always there to help him with homework or shooting practices, to feed him when he was hungry and to comfort him when he had nightmares. Sam's first word was "Dean". His first steps were to Dean. His first concern after a hunt was if Dean was okay. Dean Dean Dean it was _always_ Dean.

In so many ways…Dean was more a dad to Sam than John ever was. Or ever could be.

The thought had made John feel a strange sensation throughout every nerve of his body to the core of his heart: it was jealously. Because he always suspected it, always assumed the signs that were showed to him every day of the brother's lives, but this behavior proved it to him once and for all: Sam would rather have Dean by his side than have John. He would grieve for John but he would die for Dean.

And God help him, it was one of the main reasons John hadn't gone back to get Dean.

John leaned against Sam's bedroom door, biting his lip in worry as he gazed at his son. Honestly, he had regretted leaving Dean the moment he had left town, he needed Dean more than he knew before he had left him behind, but Dean needed to learn. Yes, this was about Dean, not about how John felt…at least that's what he tried to convince himself…This was the only way. John sighed and left, going back to look for a hunt.

Sam waited until he heard John's footsteps fade away and then quickly turned himself over on the bed, grabbing the phone from the old nightstand and quickly dialing for Bobby's number that he knew by heart. He looked over at the doorway to make sure his dad wasn't trying to check back on him. Sam had been contacting Bobby without his dad knowing, ever since John had done who knows what to ensure Bobby Singer's wrath, they hadn't seen him much. It didn't take much for John to lose friends; except for Pastor Jim, Sam and Dean didn't have many people who they could trust to talk to in this lifestyle.

Bobby answered at the first ring. "Hey, son." Bobby answered in his usual gruff voice, though Sam could hear in his tone that he was smiling. Thank God for Bobby…

"Hey Bobby." Sam smiled weakly against the receiver that he held cautiously with both hands, trying in vain to keep his voice steady. "_Calm down Sammy. Just breathe. Everything will be fine." _Is what Dean would say to him. The thought made me smile for real knowing that his brother still was able to take care of him in a way. "Still nothing?" Sam asked nervously.

"You know you would be the first person I called if I found your brother." Bobby said in a soft voice, wishing he had a different answer for the kid. He could feel it down to his bones that Dean was alive but not knowing where his kid was; was not only making himself feel sick with worry, it was driving Sam into a deep depression that only his big brother could pull him out of.

Sam knew what the answer was yet he still had to hold back a muffled sob. "I miss him Bobby." Sam sniffed, not hiding the crack in his voice. He couldn't allow John to hear him but he had to allow Bobby to know how much Dean was needed. If John wasn't going to bring back the one person who had never failed this family, then Sam was just going to have to do it himself. And damn the consequences. "I need him _here_, I don't know what to do…I don't know what to do…please Bobby, please help him…"

Bobby wished with all his heart that he was there in person just so he would be able to pull Sam into a hug and promise that they would find Dean that they would stop at nothing to bring him back home. The Winchester brothers had a bind unlike anything he had ever seen before or would ever see again. They had to be together or they would cease to be what made them Sam and Dean.

John stayed here he was, closer enough to hear every word on Sam's end. When Sam hung up the phone, John felt his insides twist and he felt sick to his stomach. He made a mistake…Sam needed Dean…they needed Dean. _He_ needed Dean. He was his son, his baby boy and he couldn't leave him alone.

Making his footsteps purposely loud, John started walking back to the room so Sam would hear him. Knocking on the door, Dean waiting a few second before opening the door all the way. "Hey Sammy?" John started carefully, watching Sam realistically move himself from the bed like he had just woken up. Kid was a good actor.

"Yeah dad?" Sam yawned, still holding the toy airplane possessively.

John took a deep breath, hoping that Sam never found out what he had done to Dean. "I found Dean. He's okay."

Watching Sam's face when he heard the news was like seeing him go from Sam to Sammy. Like his life had purpose again.

"Where? When did you find him? He's hurt at all?" Sam jumped from the bed effortlessly and stood in front of his dad in what felt like less than a heartbeat; a huge, wide relived smile on his youthful face. Sam's heart felt like it could burst. Dean was found. He was going to see his big brother again.

"He was missing for a while, but some people found him." The lie was quick and John hoped it would hold through. "We can get him now."

"I'm going to see Dean again?" Sam looked the whole weight of the world was off his shoulder.

John hid his swallow and nodded, ruffling Sam's floppy hair. "Yeah…we're gonna see Dean again."

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Sixteen year old Dean held on to Sonny's embrace firmly, forcing his eyes to stay open as he slowly took a step back, knowing it was time to go. "Thank you again." Dean said softly, doing everything in his power to keep his expression natural. Sonny nodded, resting a hand on Dean's back as they walked down stairs to Dean's dad. Where he would go back to the family business, back to John's impossible expectations of him.

"You know you can call me whenever, day or night it don't matter at all." Sonny promised as they stood by the by the door, ignoring the consistent beep of the horn that John was pounding.

Dean nodded yet said nothing, knowing that if he tried to speak his voice would break. He wanted to stay, stay with Robin, have Sonny there to watch over him…but he needed Sammy more.

"I will." Dean said, although he knew that he wouldn't be able to talk to Sonny for a while; months or years even, but it was nice to have someone there that he could talk to, especially now since Bobby wasn't on speaking terms in John anymore, not since he pulled a shotgun on him a few months back.

Neither brother got to see much of Bobby Singer and it made Dean feel depressed that they were all losing their friends and family more and more with their dad's job.

Dean felt his feet drag slightly as he walked out of the closest thing he had to an actual, physical home and he didn't-couldn't- look back. The sight of his father's profile in the driver's seat made him feel shame again. Of course John as still furious with him. He was a failure, a screw up, a worthless soldier. Why did his dad even come back for him? Why would he even want to have Dean back-?

"Dean!"

His name spoken from the one person he loved more than anyone sent him back to the present. "Sammy?" Dean rushed forward, all thoughts of staying instantly abandoning him as he made his way back to his Sammy.

The Impala side door slammed open and out ran Sam, his unbuttoned sleeves flapped through his sprint as he dropped his toy plane and jumped into Dean's arms, wrapping his arms around the back of Dean's neck, holding him like Dean would disappear if he let go. Dean fell to his knees harshly, ignore the discomfort of the ground and just grabbing Sam close to him and tightening his embrace on his Sammy's body, his strong fingers wrapping themselves around the back of Sam's head, tangling in the floppy brown hair.

Sam buried his head against Dean, in the area where neck meets shoulder. "I missed you…" Sam sobbed, unable to stop his tears from spreading, tightening his embrace on Dean's back with a stronger grip then should be normal for a twelve year old. "I missed you so much…"

"I missed you too Sammy." Dean let out a heavy exhale, biting his lip to keep from sobbing along with Sam. Neither brother paid any mind to John who was watching them, with curious expression on his face. Thankfully he allowed them their time together, as long as they knew that they still had a job to get down.

Sam moved his face from Dean's shoulder timidly, moving his hand to cup Dean's cheek tenderly in his smaller hands, a fearful expression on his face. "Are you hurt?" He asked solemnly, his bottom lip trembling with emotion. "Dad didn't tell me where you were. I-I was so scared."

Dean felt his stomach flip at that, his shame of losing their money to try and get more food for them hit him again with a vengeance. At least dad had spared Sam from the real knowledge of what was really Dean's plight…

"Yeah I'm fine." Dean grinned, ruffling Sam's hair with as loving gesture before bringing his fingers down to cup the nape of Sam's neck affectionately. Thoughts of _I love you Sammy I missed more then you know God I can't go through that again please Sammy I didn't want to disappoint you _ran through Dean's head has he held on to his most precious object. "It's not a big deal, these people helped me, but now that you are here I'm staying with you, it's all okay now."

It wasn't a lie, not exactly…he would tell Sam the whole truth when it didn't hurt him so much, but right now he was doing all he could not to puke with regret and disgrace.

Sam nodded, too emotional to do much of anything else. "You're not going to leave us again?" Sam whispered, fearful of the answer as he tighten his hold on the most treasured person he could ever be blessed with. Dean was gone and it was the worst feeling he had ever felt in his life.

Like a punch to his gut, Sam realized that this was how Dean had felt when Sam had left them both for those weeks, out in Flagstaff when he was living on his own with "his" dog Bones. Sam had gone to get away, just for a while, the life that he had no say in whether or not he wanted to live. He just wanted to be free for a while; but that had meant leaving Dean…a choice that made him come back after a few weeks. Because life without Dean? What was the purpose?

He had scared Dean to the point that he sobbed, actually sobbed brokenly when he saw Sam again, alive and unharmed. Pulled him into an embrace and never said a harsh word about Sam's absence. John had but his way of showing concern was being cold, at least that's how it felt to his sons. Sam had felt his heart break at his big brother's reaction, understanding that he didn't hurt just their dad when he left without another word.

Dean smiled gently, his green eyes bright in the moonlight. "Nope, you're stuck with me." Dean vowed, placing his hand on his little brother's wrist so that he could properly button up Sam's shirt sleeves, thinking that it was most likely unbutton because John didn't help him. Not that John didn't care about his son, but he just didn't notice little things like that. Not like Dean did. "I'm not going to leave you guys again, promise." Dean whispered, looking down at the plaid sleeves so Sam couldn't see the shining tears in his eyes form again.

Sam kindly moved Dean's hands away from his wrists, placing his fingers on top of Dean's. Standing up, Sam affectionately helped Dean up and together they got on their feet and off of the grass while still holding on to the other, unable to stop the contact. "Let's go home." Sam said softly, still holding Dean's hand.

Dean grinned happily and stayed his hand along with Sam's and side by side with Sam leaning against Dean's side, walked toward the Impala. John watched his two boys walked side by side back to the Impala and deep in his heart, John felt a burst of adoration for his two boys. He loved them more than he could ever tell them with words, but he knew that if something happened to him, if they were stuck alone on this earth with him…they would be just fine, as long as they were together.

"Hey Dean?" Sam started quietly. "I love you Dean..." Sam whispered before they got to the car, wanting Dean to know that he meant it with all his heart.

"I love you Sammy." Dean promised, his fingers gripping Sam's shoulder, rubbing his fingers up and down comfortingly.

They got into the car, feeling better than they had felt in weeks. And knowing that, just like always, they were better together than they were apart. And anyone who disagreed would have to go through them.


	31. No Need To Feel Alone

_I'm really hoping this is any good! College is taking over my life…_

"I hate the heat."

"You said you hated the cold."

"Yeah, well, that was in the winter so now I hate the heat..."

Smirking softly, Sam ignored his brother's whining and instead focused on the still summer waters that they were both watching over for a hunt. They had parked the Impala by an old, abandoned bridge; a hunted bridge to be precise. The dark, starry night sky covered their location as they kept a lookout for any supernatural movement. According to Dean's geeky brother, the ghost had been drowning its victims late at night. A woman had died under the bridge over ten years ago and yada yada yada, Dean knew how this worked.

"We should have brought cards." Dean complained, crossing his arms in his seat as he looked at Sam with green, sad puppy eyes.

"In the dark?" Sam drawled as he tried to hide his smile. Dean could tell Sam was annoyed at the lack of movement and was trying to distract him. Sam's heart swelled at the consideration from his brother but knew he had to act like he didn't notice, or else Dean would be embarrassed.

"I'll have you know I am the king of playing cards at night." Dean straitened himself in a mock superiority manner, winking at Sam who rolled his eyes at his dork of a brother. "It's a talent I have mastered."

"If only you could master the art of keeping quiet."

"That'll happen when you major in your listening skills."

Sam opened his mouth for a sassy retort. At least that's what he planned to do.

That was the last thing Sam remembered before a sharp pain hit him in the back of the head. He head his brother scream his name and then he knew no more.

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Dean's legs felt like lead, moving them wasn't an option as every time he tried to _will_ himself to get up although his legs stayed still, as if they couldn't move or properly function at this moment in time. Momentarily forgetting that he was no outside of the car, he tried to put his arm out to grab Sam, to help him up and make sure he was okay, but he wasn't there.

"_We don't pay kindly to Winchesters down in these parts."_

They were attacked…they had been found by some ticked off hunters and Dean assumed they thought they could catch them off guard…well they had been half right. Dean looked over at the bodies of the dead hunters, a satisfied cruel of his lips was placed on his face, pleased that his brother and himself were able to handle them. They had been caught off gaud yet here they were, victorious. Not a bad win.

Dean didn't remember much; he knew that they had both been hurt, that there were two hunters-and that as hurt as Dean felt, the two hunters were no match for a protective big brother. They had been dead before they even felt the knife stick in their throats. Why did they attack…oh yes…that's right…they had jumped at the chance to monologue…they had lost hunting friends back when the apocalypse had started…and of course Sam and Dean had been in a town where they would bump into enemies like that…just their luck.

"Sam?" Dean's panicked voice rang through the dark night, and he heard no reply. "Sam!" Dean yelled this time. He didn't feel in pain but his body was having a hard time cooperation with his instructions.

Cursing under his breath, Dean pushed his body up with his arms only to fall a moment later…what had happened?

Wait…yes that's right, he was dragged out. Crap, they better not have scratched his car. It was a messy fight, Dean's head hurt too much to remember exactly how it went down, but judging from his breathing, they had won.

Dean pushed his arms out to slowly move the top of his body in an upward position before giving up and falling back down.

"Dean…"

Sam.

Thanking to whoever was listening from upstairs, Dean's eyes searched in the dark until they landed on a familiar figure.

Sam was sitting back against the Impala, his legs drawn up to his chest. "You okay?" Sam asked weakly, his gaze only for his brother.

Dean said nothing as he observed his slumped brother's body. Sam had a head injury that was slowly spilling out blood, he was cradling his arm around his waist and seemed to be at an awkward angle. Probably sprained, and he definitely had a concussion.

His whole body aching, Dean bit his bottom lip to keep from crying out as he moved his legs slowly to turn his body towards the sight of his little brother. Sammy was calling him and damn well was going to answer. He had to blink a few times before he saw the (thanks to the head injury) blurry form of his brother who was only a few feet away.

"_That's gonna leave a killer headache for later. Great." _Dean thought bitterly to himself as he turned his head towards the sound of his brother.

"You're hurt." Dean whispered in apprehension, the sight of Sam's eyes looking close to closing made Dean's body suddenly having enough energy to get up wobbly and kneel in front of his Sammy. "It's nothing." Sam insisted as he reached over to gently cup the back of Dean's neck as he inspected the head wound. "I'm fine." Dean softly moved Sam's hand away to reach into his jacket's pocket.

"No signal here, remember?" Even with a concussion, Sam's memory was sharp, something Dean would have admired in that moment if he wasn't so focused on how to get help.

"Just go Dean."

"No!" Dean couldn't help the shout of anger at that. Leave Sammy? Even if it was for a little while, the thought made him feel sick. "No, I'll carry you, we'll find help together."

"We're by the freeway, not too far away, you can help there."

"I'm not leaving you." Dean insisted, gripping Sam's arm.

"Its fine Dean, I'll be alright." Sam promised, smiling fondly at his brother angry expression. "Just go, I'm not going anywhere. I know it won't take long…you'll be back…I know you will."

Dean knew he was right, of course Sammy was right, but that didn't make it any easier to accept the fact he needed to abandon his baby brother, even if it was to help them both. Head bowing in defeat, Dean nodded regretfully.

Sam's fingers clutched desperately onto Dean's jacket's sleeve, trying to keep him from rushing off, even though he knew it was the only way for both of them to get help quickly, he didn't want him to go alone, even though he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Dean kept his hold on his brother's face, his eyes gazing into Sam's pain filled eyes. "It'll be okay." Dean promised, his smile was weak but it was the best he could do.

Sam's eyes soften and he gave a loving smile. "I know, Dean." Sam whispered with absolute trust. Too weak to hold on any longer, his fingers fell limply to the ground but his eyes never left Dean's tender gaze. It took every ounce of his strength to leave his brother alone and in pain and not have the urge to throw himself off a cliff.

It wasn't long. Not really. But asking Dean to go off with his Sammy wasn't going to make time go normally. After walking on his injured legs for what felt like days, Dean was finally able to call for help. His voice was shaky and he felt close to screaming at them to hurry, but in hardly any time, he knew Sam and himself would be taken care of.

While it didn't take long for the sirens sounds to be heard, to Dean it felt like it was a lifetime too long. He had rushed back to Sam after his call like everything depended on it. At least that's what it felt like. Seeing Sam in the exact same position that he left him in, Dean let out an exhale of relief as he skidded to his knees in front of his still brother, pulling him gently back into his arms. Sam let out a weak laugh at the urgency of his big brother's hold and gripped him just as lovingly.

"You're safe now Sammy…You're safe…" Dean breathed, his chin resting on the top of is little brother's head as he held him close to his chest.

"Of course I am…I have you here." Sam whispered, leaning against Dean affectionately as he felt himself fall to unconsciousness at the raging pain in his head. The heartbeat of his brother's, a sound that he could swear only he himself knew, lulled him to sleep. He felt safe though, felt protected by the possessive hold Dean had him in; proving that not even an army of demons and angels could pull him away from his brother.

They stayed in the same potion until the ambulance arrived.

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Feeling rhythmic warmth caressing up and down the side of his cheek, Sam woke up at the hospital shortly after the attack by the angry hunters. Turning his head, Sam felt his heart beat back happily at the sight his brother by his side; one hand cupping his cheek with the other was still, griping his little brother's hand and watching him with anxious eyes…and Sam knew that he was better than okay.

It was the next day, after a few tests, that Sam was able to convince Dean to finally let them leave the hospital. Some bruises and a concession, which was why he couldn't remember much from before the attack. Police had come and they had the bodies of the two angry hunters as enough proof to their "attacked by crazy killers" lie to sound true, leaving both brothers in the clear.

Sam did look better with fluids and his pale face had a bit of color to his cheeks. Not enough to Dean's liking but enough for Sam to assume he was better and could finally head back home with Dean. Dean wanted to get him to stay longer but knew the only reason Sam would ever be willing to stay in a hospital was if his brother was the one who was hurt, but since Dean's main injury was only a head injury, he was released a few hours later with just a few stitches. (Although that didn't stop Sam from fussing over the wound and constantly checking on Dean's well-being)

Silence fell as Dean drove them back to the bunker, knowing that Sam would be fine in a few days, but the fact that he had gotten hurt in the first place made him want to summon those two hunters back to life and kill them again. Dean ghosted his fingers across Sam's cheek before gently shaking him awake and soon Sam rolled his head towards the touch, blinking his eyes rapidly.

"We're home." Dean said softly, gently tugging on Sam's arm to help him stand up.

It took a little bit longer than usual but both brothers made it inside the bunker; hurt and tired but alive and safe. A few minutes later, Dean was gently setting his brother in their bed, taking off his boots with care and smoothly removing Sam's jacket to make him comfortable.

Dean heard his brother exhale slowly before hearing in a small voice, just one word. "Dean…" It was barely above a whisper but Dean could still hear him, always so connected with his brother. Dean sank down next to Sam, Dean reached around Sam's shoulders to lean him against Dean's tired body, winding his fingers in the plaid fabric of his shirt. "I'm right here Sammy…" Dean pressed his face against his brother's steady shoulder, both craving the other's presence. "I'm glad you're okay Dean…"

His big, protective, loving brother had to swallow before he could reply. "Same to you little brother." His voice was soft as he leaned down to place his lips against Sam's flushed cheek. The tender gesture had Sam reaching up and pulling Dean down with him; planting an affectionate kiss on his big brother's temple as he held on to him with pure adoration. With his other hand, he cupped Dean's chin. With his thumb caressing Dean's freckled cheek, came the silent conversation of _I love you I'm so glad you're safe please stay_

And like always, the brother understood the gesture.

Dean's hand tangled in Sam's hair with a solid grip, a grip so strong it felt like he was afraid that letting his grip loose even for a second would have Sam disappear from his possessive clasp. Sam, of course, didn't mind one bit at his big brother's embrace; he just held him close and knew, that no matter how many dangers they would face in their life that this was exactly what he wanted. Dean by his side. That's how their lives went…and he wouldn't want it any other way.

_Thank you SO much for the kind words of encouragement and for following this story! *hug!*_


	32. A Different Kind Of Love

Prompt: I would like to see a scene/tag from 1x15 The Benders. In particular, I'd like to see the scene where Sam returns to the house from the barn and frees Dean from the chair. I was disappointed that they didn't show this scene (especially since it's likely that Dean probably believed that Sam had been killed after hearing the gunshots and probably would have been relieved to see that Sam was actually okay). This scene has the potential to be a great (and adorable!) chick-flick moment

_Click flick moments are my weakness. I can't help it. Thanks for the prompt! I hope you enjoy!_

Dean was seriously debating on whether or not is was immoral to non-fatally stab a thirteen year old girl. She grinned as she lightly trailed the blade across his freckled cheek, small beads of blood slid free from the sharp slice of the weapon. Dean growled at her venomously, still pulling against his tight bonds that was currently separating himself from his family. Oh he was going to _kill_ the whole family, all of them, he was going to _slaughter_ them. They took Sam and they _dare_ threaten to kill his baby brother? He hadn't given a damn about if they took his eye, he just wanted Sam _safe_. And if they hunted him, Dean had no doubt that Sam would win. That of _course_ Sam would end up victorious and come to both Kathleen and Dean's rescue. He knew his little brother could do it; knew that his brother could survive.

But these monsters wanted to shoot him in the cage. They wanted to take away his fighting chance.

Because of his _stupidity_, he might have just killed his Sammy.

He just killed his baby brother.

No…

Oh God please _please_ let Sammy be okay. Oh God, what if he had gotten Sam killed? His brother would have gotten a fair chance if they were hunting him out in the forest. He knew that Sam would have gotten away, there was no doubt in Dean's mind about that. But…if they-

Nonononono please God no…was he able to get out of the cage before they got there in time?

A flick of a knife brought Dean temporary back to the present. Moving his head in vain out of the psychotic little girls' reach, Dean's mind instantly went back to Sam.

If anyone could get out of this bloody situation, it was Sam; he always had a plan and could work perfectly under pressure. It was a talent that Dean had always admired. When they were growing up, he encouraged Sam to pursue the books and research rather than the more grunt work of the job. Being a murdering soldier was Dean's profession, he understood that…but being a hero was Sam's job.

He had to be okay, Dean couldn't-_wouldn't_-accept that the shot was aimed at his Sammy. Sam got out, he had to have gotten out. Dean was going to get out of here, and he was going to kill every last one of them for even _thinking_ of killing his brother.

"My big brothers are going to have fun skinning your little brother." The bizarre girl said playfully, moving the knife down to Dean's chest, twirling it over Dean's frantically beating heart; not noticing Dean's right hand slowly but surely sliding out of the ropes from behind him, causing his wrists to bleed with the friction but he didn't are as long as he would be able to go help Sam.

"Yeah?" Dean sneered at the girl. He could take her out but he knew he didn't have it in him to kill her; no…he would let Kathleen deal with the kid when they all escaped this place. "Clearly you haven't met _my_ brother." Dean turned to eyeball at the girl with a cruel smile on his lips, enjoying her look of confusion. "I bet he's killed them all by now." Dean sighed in mock sadness.

A flash of fear was placed on the teen's face, causing her to bring the knife back up to Dean's eye, dangling it too close for comfort. "You're wrong." She hissed. "_They'll_ kill him."

One hand slipped free silently and quickly worked on sliding the second one free while still distracting the girl. "You heard the gunshots." Dean grinned playfully, ensuring that she looked at his face and not at his hands. "If they've already killed him-" Dean hid his small shutter of fear at the thought, his heart feeling like it would implode in pain without the other half of his soul…but he needed to stay calm, needed to get back to Sammy. Sam was alive and he was going to go back to him. "-Then why haven't they gotten back?" Dean finished in grim satisfaction. Relishing in her look of fear of losing her whole family, like they were threating to do to him.  
Here the girl lowered her blade slightly; dangling his her hold limply as she let it hover over Dean's chest. Her expression held terror at the thought. She turned her head towards the shed where they were keeping Sam, her grip on the knife trembling slightly. "No…" She whispered. "No they-they'll be okay…"

"Or they're dead. Bleeding out right now from being gutted like animals. " Dean felt his last hand almost slip free…

She stood there for a few moments in silence, deep in thought over the words that terrified her to her soul. "Well then…" She announced softly, a look in her eye that said exactly what Dean was fearing. "I guess I'll just have to have my revenge now." She trailed the sharp blade down to Dean's exposed throat-

Right before she fell limply to the ground with a small thud.

Dean's mouth fell open in shock for a full second before he looked at his savior.

And his heart started beating again.

Sam stood in front of him. Dirty and bleeding but alive and holding a shovel as a weapon against a thirteen year old. They had to make sure dad never found out that they had so much trouble by an underage redneck.

"Sammy." Dean's voice cracked, feeling like he was drowning in relief and he had to convince himself not to pull Sam into a hug and hold him close, although he felt like he was losing that control. Sam was _here_. He hadn't gotten his baby brother killed. Sammy was alive. Sam panted, dropping the shovel Sam knelt down in front of his brother. "You hurt?" Sam's voice shook in fear, his hands trembling as they started undoing the ropes on Dean's feet.

"_Not now that you're here." _Dean thought to himself in relief at seeing Sammy breathing. "I'm fine." Dean groaned, rubbing his wrists from the pain that the bonds left on him. Slicing the last thread of the rope, Sam yanked the bonds away from his brother in such disgust it was like they were personally responsible to his brother's injuries.

Sam gently clutched Dean's hand and hauled him up, before quickly pulling him close and embracing him tightly, arms wrapped around Dean's shoulder while one hand tangling themselves his short hair.

Dean was momentarily taken aback at the warm gesture for a moment, but soon returned the hug promptly, one hand around Sam's waist while the other cupped the back of Sam's neck protectively. As Dean's fingers soothingly started running up and down his baby brother's back of the neck, he wondered with a small frown why they hadn't hugged like this in far too long….they should fix that.

"Stop that." Sam shakily exhaled, moving his forehead against Dean's. Fearing that his big brother, that his _hero_, was almost gutted while Sam was too far away to help him had Sam feel a fear that he hadn't felt in a long time.

"Stop what?" Dean muttered, closing his eyes at the affective contact. He breathed in deeply at the comfort that it brought to him, his hold on his brother still not loosening.

"Scaring me like that." Sam answered, still giving no sign of letting go to his big brother. "Don't-Just don't go away. Okay?"

"Sorry." Dean said honestly. Maybe it was time for a small break; they could wait a while before accepting another hunt…

Sam seemed to take that as a promise and breathed in deeply, closing his eyes as he regained his composure. Clearing his throat, Sam reluctantly pulled away, his bloodied hand still cupping the nape of Dean's neck possessively. "Next time I say I'll leave without you, you have my permission to slap me."

Dean gave a half laugh at that. "And same for me too." Dean promised, knowing that he was going to have a hard time letting Sam out of his sights again any time soon.

"Okay." Dean tried to keep his voice form breaking in the utter relief that he felt having Sam in his sights again. "We gotta go help Kathleen; if anyone could hold their own it's her, but we'd better go before..." Dean didn't finish; thinking that if anyone needed revenge against this freaks for what they did to family, it was her.

Sam nodded, still not taking his gaze off of his brother's green eyes. "Okay…" Sam mumbled, still unable to form complete sentences now that he had his brother back in his sights.

After looking at him for a few more seconds, Dean couldn't stop himself from wrapping an arm around Sam's back, walking in sync back to the shed; both silently agreeing to stay within each other's sights for a few days…or maybe weeks.

The Winchester brothers walked side by side, just like always…right where they always belong.

_Next prompt is a request for de-aged Sam. :)_


	33. The Young And The Restless

I would love a de-aged Sam fic :)

_De-aged Sam is just too fun to say no to. :D_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

_-There's like a million different ways to say "I love you," …you've just got to listen.- Unknown_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

_Don't freak out don't freak out don't freak out._

That was the chant that rang throughout Dean Winchester's head as he looked upon the small sight that was in front of him. As Dean stood in the middle of their bunker's old living room, he was so far keeping a calm facade as he stared at what was most definitely a five year old Sammy. It was sad that this wasn't an abnormal situation. He wondered exactly how their lives got to the point where this situation was not surprising anymore. There was no doubt it was Sammy; he was practically a dad to him when Sam was growing up, he knew what five year old Sam looked like.

Dean figured it was partly his fault. He didn't notice Sam picking up that old Men of Letter's book while they were examining the books again. "Huh, haven't seen this passage before…" Sam muttered thoughtfully. And like a Winchester, he decided it was a good idea to read from it before checking it out.

John Winchester taught them well.

Dean was angry at himself, he should have been faster at stopping Sam from reading that old book out loud, should have snatched it away before a puff of purple smoke surrounded Sam and turned his little tall brother turned into his…well…little _little_ brother. His clothes fit him perfectly, like they shrunk along with him.

Okay, he could deal with this, they were "de-aged" before, he would just help Sam reverse it and then everything would be-

"Who are you?" Sam's voice was scared, demanding, looking at Dean with true fear.

Aw crap.

"Where's my dad?!" Sam shouted, taking a step back as his voice turned angry and defensive. "What did you do to Dean?!"

"Sammy…" Dean helped his hands out, showing that he had no weapon and wouldn't harm him. "This is going to be difficult to explain but-"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO DEAN?!"

Whether Sam moved to fast for Dean to comprehend or he really didn't think a four year old could move so fast Dean didn't know. All he knew was that Sam had practically bulldozed to Dean's stomach, knocking the air clean out of him and sending him down to one knee. "Where's my family?!" Sam screamed loudly, not thinking about the logic of how a five year old couldn't win a fight with a thirty-seven year old but that was the last thing on his mind when his big brother was currently missing from his sights.

Dean swiftly grabbed Sam's skinny shoulders, holding him one place as Sam continued to squirm, kick, and shout. "Sammy stop! You'll hurt yourself!"

"Don't call me that!" Sam roared, his little voice full of hate for the man who took him away from his family. If he hurt them in anyway…Sam may be small but he could still inflict some damage on this man. "What did you do to them?! Who are you?!"

"I'm Dean!" He tightened his hold on Sam, hating that he was hurting him but he needed to stop Sammy from hurting himself.

"No you're not! Dean isn't that tall!" Sam yelled, turning his head away as he was still trying to move him arms from the man's hold, thinking of all the ways to punch someone, just like Dean had taught him. "Let go! Dean is going to hurt you if you don't let go of me!"

"Sam stop, look at me!" Dean implored, pushing Sam to fold over his knees, so he would stop kicking. "No! You're not Dean! You're not my Dean! Go away!"

Dean held on to the struggling child, needing him to know the truth. Needing him to see him as his big brother "Really look at me." Dean pleaded; using the tone that he only ever used with Sam. The tone that was always able to allow Sam to stop whatever he was doing and listen to his big brother. He had done that voice for years and he knew Sam would listen. "Please, I'm Dean, I promise…"

Sam struggled for a moment longer, more out of training than any real attempt to escape. Breathing heavily, Sam then turned his head upwards to the man with doubt in his hazel eyes. Then he looked. He _really_ looked at Dean. Dean breathed lightly, green eyes silently begging Sammy to believe him, to know that he was there to protect him; just like always. Dean loosened his hold on Sam and watched Sam understanding dawned over his little brother.

As his eyes soften suddenly as he examined this man with genuine interest, small gasp escaped him and his eyes widened in astonishment. Could it be…? Small hands lifted up and gently touched either side of Dean's cheeks, his thumbs trailing over the freckles he knew by heart, his eyes observing the apple green eyes that he knew he adored with all his heart.

"Dean?"

Relief swarmed over him and Dean nodded eagerly. "Yeah buddy, it's me."

Sam stared at Dean for a second longer before throwing his small arms around Dean, where shoulder meets neck. "Why are you so tall?" Sam asked, his feet dangling in the air as he continued to hold on to his really big brother.

Dean wraps one arm around Sam's back while the other is around the back of Sam's knees. "It's kinda a long story…"

"I think we have time…" Sam mutters, his face buried in the crook of Dean's neck as his lip trembled due to the course of events that had only occurred in the last few minutes.

Dean grins at that, getting up from his knees Dean makes his way to the fallen book. Bending down while still holding onto his precious cargo, Dean skims the Latin words thoughtfully before groaning.

"What's wrong?" Sam asks, not being able to see since he's facing the wrong way.

"The spell or whatever it is won't fade way until it's been a couple of hours…I guess it could be worse. When you read aloud from the spell, you didn't finish it, so it'll ware off." Dean internally groans again as he thinks of how he's going to tell little Sammy what's been going on in the past couple decades.

"Why did I read from it if I didn't know what it was?" Sam asked, confused.

Dean scoffed at that. "Because we don't really think about things like that until it's kinda late in the game.' Dean just hoped Sam wouldn't ask any harder questions.

"Where's dad? Maybe he can help?" Sam suggests, his small fingers playing with the back of Dean's hair.

Like that for example.

How was Dean supposed to explain this?

"Dad's…on a hunting trip…and he hasn't been home in a few days." Dean hid his nervous swallow, hating that he had to lie but how he supposed to tell Sam that their dad was dead when Sam barely understood where their mom was at this age?

Sam seemed to take this as an answer, even at five understanding that their dad was gone most of the time doing his job…he just didn't know what that job was.

Before Sam could ask when dad was going to be back home, his stomach growled audibly; Dean could feel the rumble against his chest. Dean couldn't hide his smile of amusement. "You hungry there big guy?"  
Without a pause, Sam nodded, his brown hair flopping in Dean's face with the force of his eagerness. "_Really_ hungry…" Sam muttered, refusing to loosen his hold on Dean. He didn't know how he could have doubted that this man was his brother. Everything about him was so…Dean-ish. His big brother could practically radiate love and protectiveness.

Dean smiled and, while still holding on to his brother, walked them to the kitchen. A peanut butter and banana sandwich should to the trick…

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Slicing off the crusts of the bread and ensuring that he had gotten the sandwich juts like Sam always like it, Dean filled a glass of milk and placed in in front of his little brother. Soon after Dean had fed his brother, he grabbed the book from the other room, examining it more thoroughly in case he missed something.

"What's that?" Sam asked, cupping his cup of milk as he leaned over the table, trying to get a view of the book.

"Latin." Dean answered. "It's what made you turn small again."

"You sure it's not just you who's too tall?" Sam asked helpfully, taking a sip of milk nosily.

Dean smiled softly. "Nah, I'm sure buddy."

Sam shrugged at that, seemingly accepting that as an answer as he took another bite of his sandwich that Dean had made for him. It was nice to know that future him still liked peanut butter and bananas. "So, can you fix it or do we wait for it to go away?" Sam asked, moving his empty plate away and folding his fingers together to look at Dean thoughtfully.

Dean sighed, setting the book down. "Well, it looks like there's a cure, but with all the complications…it might be better just to wait for it to end."

"Well then," Sam beamed jumping off from the table. "I saw we either watch movies past our bedtime, or we eat chocolate. In a perfect world, I'd say we do both." Sam said importantly, moving towards his big brother and stealthy climbing up on Dean's lap. Dean wrapped his arms around him and stood up, carrying him to the other room while Sam bobbed favorably in the arms of his big brother. "I say both sounds good." Dean agreed, unable to _not_ grin when Sam was looking at him like he had just said that he was able to fly if he wanted to. "We can?" Sam gasped.

SPNSPNSPNSPSNSPN

"Um, what are you doing?" Dean asked. He had come into the room holding chocolate and stopping in his tracks to see Sam in front of the TV where they held their movies. Sam would look at the cover of the DVD for a second before looking bored and throwing it behind him.

"You said we could watch a movie." Sam was looking intently at the stacks of films. "You don't have 'MacGyver' or 'Speed Racer' so I have to look for something else."

"Because?" Dean questioned.

"I want to watch something." Sam said like it was an obvious answer, continuing his adventure of throwing DVDs that he wasn't interest in.

"I can see that." Dean said, watching the pile of discarded video grow. "Remember the book I read to you when you couldn't sleep? The one with the hobbits and elves and the magical ring?" Dean asked curiously.

"Lord of the Rings!" Sam answered excitedly, practically jumping up and down, pleased that he knew the answer.

Dean smirked at his enthusiasm before leaning closer, eyeing Sam with eagerness. "What if I told you that it is now a movie?"

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Watching Lord of the Rings, Sam was enthralled with the action, fascinated with the story that Dean had read aloud to him for many years. Seeing it being played out was just amazing…but even a story being played like this couldn't keep his eyes open.

Yawning, Sam scooted even closer to his brother, laying his head on Dean's lap uninvitingly as he allowed his eyes to fall shut. Strong, callused fingers ran through Sam's hair, a soothing rhythm as he felt his brother lull him to sleep, knowing that no matter what, he was going to be safe.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"It's ending soon?" Sam asked softly, looking at Dean with big, hazel eyes.

Sam had woken up a few hours later, still in his brother's strong arms as he rocked him to sleep protectively. When Sam looked over at the clock, he felt his heart sink. He was going to have to be big again. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about that…but clearly it couldn't be bad…not if Dean was still with hi. As long as he had Dean, his life must be happy.

"Yeah, you're going to be a big boy again." Dean smiled, caressing Sam's cheek lovingly. Even though this was exactly what he wanted, he couldn't help but feel sad over Sam having to remember the messed up life that he had been forced to live. "You'll go back and you'll be fine."

Sam nodded attentively, accepting the outcome. "So I'll be taller again?"

Always with the questions…Dean had to let out a small laugh at that. "Yeah…actually, and if you ever repeat it again I will deny it…you're taller than me.  
Sam's eyes widen in pleasure. "I'll be taller?" Sam asked excitedly.

"Way taller, it's like, ridiculous how talk you get, you're like a moose."

Sam grinned at that, happily relishing in the fact that he would be taller than their dad.

Dean leaned over the gap between them, planting a tender kiss on Sam's head, his lips lingering on his baby brother's floppy hair while Sam closed his eyes peacefully at the touch, reaching up to cup either side of Dean's cheeks affectionately. Pulling back slowly, Dean kept his smile on his face. "See you in a minute." His tone was soft enough that only Sam would be able to tell that his voice was close to breaking.

"See you." Sam grinned.

The same puff of purple of smoke appeared again and surrounded the smaller Winchester, leaving neither brother enough time to react before it disappeared, revealing-

"Did I miss something?" Asked the thirty-two year old Sam Winchester, lying on the floor in (thankfully) correctly fitted clothes.

"You could say that…" Dean started off slowly.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPSPN

"So I was _five_?" Sam tussled his wet hair with his fingers after his shower, listening intently to what Dean had told him of the day's adventure. "Like, honestly five years old?"

"Yeah, some spell you read turned you into a kid, but thankfully it only lasted a day." Dean answered, tossing Sam some clean socks. "I was thanking God that I didn't have to change anymore diapers with you." Dean gave a small shutter at the thought.

Sam threw a dry towel at Dean, laughing. "Shut up." Sam was grinning, his eyes never leaving Dean's.

"What?" Dean asked suspiciously at the look Sam was giving him, scooting over on the bed so Sam could have a seat.

"Nothing…" Sam muttered, sitting on the bed next to Dean as he pulled on the socks. "I'm just…I'm so thankful that you're my brother."

A flush of pink blush took over Dean's cheek at the praise. Looking down for a moment, Dean raised his eyes to look at Sam. "Me too kiddo." Dean's answered truthfully, leaning over to place a kiss on Sam's temple lovingly, afterwards, smoothing away brown strands of hair from Sam's face. The gesture had Sam beam, reaching up to cup either side of Dean's face lovingly for a few moments, just looking at Dean; wishing he could somehow tell Dean, find the words that could even begin to describe all that he loved about him.

Sam smiled before swinging an arm around the back of Dean's back, pulling him into a hug as they sat on the bed. Dean returned the embrace and brought his fingers up to the back of Sam's neck, holding the nape of his neck protectively.

They stayed in that position for a while, both brothers enjoying being exactly that: brothers.

_I hope you enjoyed!_


	34. AU Confession

I would have loved for sam to confess and actually go to dean about the demon blood/ruby manipulating him in season 4

_This is such a cool request! Thank you!_

_This will be an AU of season 4 then. I hope that you enjoy it. At this point, Sam wouldn't have gotten addicted enough to need the painful withdrawal treatment that broke all our hearts but worse of all Dean's…I'm tearing up just thinking about it, let's move on to the story...*wipes away tear*_

Dean knew something was off with Sam, he knew it from the first few minutes of being with his brother for the first time in forty years. He knew that this wasn't how his brother would have done certain things in the past like he was doing now; knew that this here? Wasn't pure, unadulterated Sammy.

But _this_? Having his little brother come out and say the God honest truth was not like anything he was hoping to hear. Dean missed all the signs. How could he have not known what was happening to Sam when he wasn't there for him? Drinking demon blood? _Being_ with a demon? It wasn't even on the _list_ of possibilities of what could have been going on with Sam.

This had been revealed to him the day after Dean had finally confessed to Sam what he had done in his time in hell, he hadn't even told him the worst of it but it hurt Sam to the point that it was like Sam himself could feel the torture that Dean had gone through. Dean felt like he was stabbed ruthlessly in the gut when he looked at Sam's face after his confession about hell; he didn't want Sam to feel guilty for something that was not his fault-actually hated when Sam felt guilty about anything even when something was his fault.

He would never blame Sam for when he went to hell, nor for selling his soul and dying for Sam. He didn't say out loud, but if the chance came again, he would do it again in less than a heartbeat. That was always going to be his choice and nothing, _nothing_, would change his mind. Sam was the most important person in his life and he couldn't- no…_wouldn't_, live without him.

"I need to talk to you." Sam had forced out as he sat on the edge of one of their motel beds; his voice was on edge like he was physically in pain for the words that would soon leave past his lips. Sam's trembling body proved to Dean that whatever Sam had to say, it was not going to be pretty.

And it wasn't.

Sam was drinking demon blood…from Ruby…Dean looked at his baby brother as Sam continued on, but it was like Dean couldn't hear a word he said. All he knew was that Sam was feeding off of Ruby's blood…because Dean was too weak to kill Lilith and save anyone…because Dean was not good enough to take care of Sam anymore. He couldn't trust his big brother to protect him anymore, or protect anyone for that matter.

It hurt, of course it hurt, his own brother trusted a demon's word and left Dean alone in the dark…Because Dean was weak. Because he broke in hell. Sam knew that Dean wasn't worth having around because he could take care of himself. He didn't trust him…he didn't need him-

But that wasn't true though, was it? If Sam really didn't need him, didn't care for him, then why would he be telling Dean any of this? Why would he care about what Dean thought of him? Why would he still be with him if he didn't care?

This problem, this drinking blood thing, could never end well, Dean knew that if it had been him with the power, he'd have told the demon to stick it where the sun don't shine. But if Sam was able to kill demons with it, he could understand the temptation that would come along with it, to be able to stop monsters and even be able to save their victims. Looking at it from Sam's point of view, the ability to be stronger was clearly comprehensible. Dean wouldn't abandon Sam for this. This was _Sam_, he wasn't going to just leave him-couldn't.

"I can understand why you would want to leave me…" Sam said in a soft voice, though not soft enough for Dean to miss to crack in his brother's vulnerable voice. "You can hate me, wish I was dead…but-but please-" Sam looked up, his hazel eyes searching into Dean's apple green ones with heartbroken eyes. "Please don't leave me…" Sam's tone was spoken with fear, fear that the answer to all his prayers in his entire life, would leave him for his treachery.

Sam pushed himself to continue, needing to tell Dean the whole truth, leaving nothing out. "I needed you back, I couldn't live with you gone-and-and Ruby-" Sam said her name with venom, hating how he had lied to Dean and was going behind his back with a demon. She wasn't worth it, not even a small percent of her was worth his big brother. "She said that if I was powerful, if I tapped into my true potential, I could bring you back from hell. A-and when you came back-I-I needed to protect you, I had to-I couldn't risk losing you again."

Sam's voice was trembling as badly as his body was, the force of the confession shaking him to his very core because how could he ever be forgiven for this? He would be lucky if Dean didn't try to swing a punch at him. "That's why I had to tell you know, before you found out on your own-I needed to let you know what I've done. Please, I know I have done something unforgivable-"

"It doesn't matter."

Sam snapped his head up in shock. "What?" Sam questioned his hearing. This didn't matter? Of course it did! He had kept this hidden and was in cohoots with a demon. How could Dean not understand this?

"It doesn't matter." Dean repeated firmly.

"I-I drank demon blood." Sam repeated in a disgusted whisper, waiting for the words to sink in. Didn't Dean understand what he was saying? "I-I was with Ruby and I drank her blood so that I could kill demons!"

"Are you stopping?" Dean asked, his voice calm and kind; it was the same tone that Dean had always used back when Sam was a child and had confessed to breaking something. "Are you going to stop taking the blood?"

"Y-yeah, I'm not going to do it again. I'm never going to see Ruby." Sam said hurriedly, needing Dean to understand that he couldn't go on doing something that would hurt Dean. He had chose this path to get his brother back but if this was going to have him lose his anchor, than it was not worth it. Nothing was worth losing his big brother.

"Then it doesn't matter." Dean nodded his head sharply to Sam, letting him know that he was being honest. This wasn't a lie, nor something he thought Sam needed to hear. He meant every word. Reaching over slightly, Dean had his fingers hover over Sam's cheek, waiting for permission to touch him. When Sam nodded softly, Dean rested his hand tenderly against Sam's cheek. Sam leaned into the warm touch, feeling tears start to leak out of his eyes at the loving gesture. "What happened in the past is exactly that: the past. It doesn't matter what you did before. You are _my_ baby brother and I will _never_ hate you."

As he spoke, Dean caressed Sam's cheek with his thumb almost thoughtlessly; like it was just a natural reaction for him. He silently moving his other hand to cup the other side of Sam's face lovingly, trailing his finger down Sam's face lightly.

Pulling him forward, Dean rested his forehead against Sam's. "I promise you'll always be my brother…" Dean whispered, closing his eyes as he felt the shutter of Sam's body against his own. The force of Sam's anguish of being too close once again to losing Dean again filled the atmosphere to the point that Dean felt like _he_ was the one feeling the painful emotions. "I promise."

Sam's bottom lip trembled; his body unsure how to handle the pure, soul-consuming love that he had for his brother. To know that if he were any other person, Dean would have held nothing but disgust for them...but because he was Dean's little brother, he would stay with him. Dean didn't need to say how much he would do for Sam, he showed it everyday.

And that was when Sam _finally_ understood that no matter where he looked on the face of heaven and earth, or who he loved, Dean would always be his _soulmate_. They would never be separated for long, because their bond could withstand anything. This was special and he was going to hold on to this with both hands.

"I-I…" Sam tried, his voice breaking, unable to tear his eyes away from the adoring gaze of his big brother.

"Yeah…" Dean said softly, a small smile growing on his lips. "Me too." _I love you too Sammy._

Without wasting a second, Sam leaned over the distance between them and enveloped Dean into what would have been a bone crushing hug if Sam wasn't emotionally exhausted from this event. Dean quickly wrapped his arms around Sam, holding him tight.

Yeah…they were the Winchester brothers. They would be just fine.


	35. In The End, He Is Always Worth It

What about a reaction to what happened after Dark Side of the Moon? I feel there is still something kind of missing after Cas leaves to drink a Liquor Store, Dean walks out after tossing the Samulet, and Sam standing there absolutely devastated by the false memories of heaven and deserted by Cas and Crushed by Dean.

_I'm broken after reading this prompt because that episode's last few minutes broke my soul…so this prompt has given me a way to add some comfort! Love it! Thank you all for these awesome ideas! _

He couldn't do this anymore. Failure and disappointment were becoming a common occurrence for him. Dean turned his back to Sam. Dean left the room. Left the amulet, left Sammy…and left behind any hope for himself to survive this war. It didn't matter.

Not anymore.

Cas had left then to go God knows where and Dean honestly found himself not caring. It didn't matter where he went. Really, what did matter anymore? Cas was gone, God had left them to deal with their own messes, and really Dean couldn't blame Him for wanting to leave this messed up place.

Feeling like he was going to suffocate if he stayed outside the car one more minute, Dean got into his Impala and slammed the door shut with unnecessary force, not caring if he damaged Baby or not. Because why did it matter what happened to car? It was just a car. Just some hunks of metal that he was pathetic enough to call home. Nothing mattered. Nothing, and Dean knew that he was just as useless as the car. He was just some worthless little soldier who no one gave a damn about. Why did it matter if he said yes or not to Michal? What did _anything_ matter?

A flare of anger burst through Dean and he pounded the dashboard of the car, inflicting pain on his bruised fist although he felt nothing. Raising his fist again with a fit of rage he was against ready to strike the car for a second time when Dean suddenly froze, lowering his black and blue hand softly and letting it fall limply on his lap.

"Sorry Baby." Dean said softly, resting his hand gentle on top of the slightly dented dashboard and then started looking back for his brother. As much as his heart felt broken from what he saw in Sam's heaven, he knew that it would take more than that to tear him apart from his baby brother. Hell, Sam had chosen a friggin' demon over him and after a few weeks Dean still went back to Sam after he thought about how pointless his future would be without his one constant in life. It looked pitiful but he couldn't make himself leave Sam unless it was to keep him safe.

But right now, Dean was angry at Sam. After all that had happened; choosing Ruby, drinking blood, and _now_ his heaven was about all the times he had left his family, had left _Dean_. Sam wanted out and when he did, he didn't even regret it. Would probably di t again if he had the chance. And Dean couldn't remember when he left so empty at a piece of knowledge. It may not be true but it sure as hell felt true.

Everything felt wrong-but Sam was his and he was Sam's. He couldn't figure out how to say the words aloud (or even if he ever could) but he needed Sam…And he didn't see a future where he wouldn't ever want to be without his little brother…even if Sam never felt the same way about him.

A sigh of angry relief left past Dean's lips as he watched Sam walk out of the motel shortly after Dean. His big brother was already seated in the driver seat of the Impala, gears in place and ready to go the moment Sam got in the car.

Which is exactly what Sam needed.

"I'm not getting in the car." Sam said firmly as he stood in front of the passenger seat door.

Dean snapped his head towards Sam, his mouth in a tight line. Is this seriously happening? "Why?" Dean's terse tone wasn't angry, confused, or annoyed. It was…empty. And that proved to Sam that he had to stand steady and make his brother listen to what he needed to say.

"I'm not getting in the car until we talk about this." Sam was firm. Those memories? They weren't his "perfect heaven". Not in the slightest. How could it be if his own brother wasn't there? Dean is his _soulmate_, Ash confirmed it. Doesn't that prove that Sam's heaven is and always will be _Dean_? His big brother's heaven was his family; it was full of his loved ones who were kind, supporting, and loving to him. It was _Sam_. And Sam knew that he needed to have Dean understand that Sam's real heaven would have his big brother in it.

Throwing away the amulet hurt Sam, but he understood that it wasn't Dean losing faith in Sam, it was him losing faith in _himself_. Yes, Sam had hurt his brother; seeing memories of Sam leaving him and their dad for himself was painful; it was what he had originally thought he wanted, and was another reason the amulet was gone from Dean's neck and was now currently hidden in Sam's jean pocket, but he wouldn't _never_ accept that their bond was broken, _never_.

"Come one, let's go." Dean's voice was sharp now. He wasn't looking at Sam, keeping his eyes fixed on the steering wheel in front of him.

"I already told you I'm not getting in the car." Sam repeated. "We are talking about this."

"Get. In. the. Damn. Car." Dean bit out slowly, refusing to turn his head towards Sam now. He was getting angry. Good, it meant that he was listening.

"_No_. We need to talk." Sam crossed his arms against his chest to look more in control of the situation, his I'm-not-moving-until-I-want-to stance standing firm.

Dean pounded on the steering wheel loudly with his fist, the force of Dean's anger caused Sam to jump slightly but still, he didn't move. "Sam, get in the car now!" Dean yelled threateningly. He didn't want to be here another second, he couldn't do this, he couldn't talk about this but there was no way in hell he was leaving Sam behind no matter how furious he was.

"Dean…" And that was all Sam had to say to cause Dean to snap.

Pushing the door open so harshly Sam thought he could have torn the door off its hinges, Dean got out of the car and got right into Sam's face. Sam stood his ground, unblinking and was ready to take whatever Dean was going to throw at him. "You wanna talk?" Dean seethed dangerously. He didn't want to break down in front of Sam, not now, not after what had just happened with their "deaths." Sam didn't need him, didn't want him. And after everything that had happened, Dean couldn't stop the truth from spilling past his lips. His walls fell and only Sam was there to watch.

"Let's talk. Let's talk about how I allowed the first Seal to be broken because I was weak. Let's talk about how no one gives a damn about their world expect us. Let's talk about how me saying yes to Michael and then burning myself with holy oil would better than saying no to him because then at least you would survive!" The words were said in a rush, as if he thought that if he didn't get them out now, he would never be able to say them again.

There. The truth was out. Dean was worth less than the mud on his boots.

Sam's breathing all but stopped.

No.

No he couldn't let that happen to Dean.

He wouldn't.

"Dean, you don't mean that!' Sam insisted, horror overwhelming him as the thought of Dean dying, of losing Dean forever, made him willing and ready to kill himself right after Dean. Sam tried to reach out to touch his brother only for Dean to take a quick step back. Dean was hurt, broken, and if Sam touched him Dean knew he would just break down and he didn't see himself recovering from that.

"Maybe I do!" Dean yelled back, frantic at the sting behind his yes but he ignored them. "I don't care if I die or not!"  
"You need to care!" Sam yelled back, taking a step forward to which Dean didn't move away from this time.

"And why the _hell_ is that?!" Dean hissed, his voice dangerously low.

"Because I can't lose you!" Sam roared back reaching out to fist his hands in Dean's jacket and dragging him closer. Dean's stare was pained and angry and Sam wasn't going to stand there and watch as his brother started to break down. "I can't! If you die, I'd follow you and I know you would do the same!"

There it was.

The absolute truth.

Neither brother could be without the other.

Dean stood there in shock at Sam's words, only being able to stand since Sam was supporting him with his fingers gripping him upwards. It was true…Dean would just follow Sam if his brother died, he knew that without a doubt…but Sam doing the same? After what he had just seen? Sam was determined to live a happy, normal life. Why would he follow Dean into death?

Sensing what Dean was thinking, Sam pushed on, desperately trying to keep back the break in his voice. "I _need_ you Dean, I need you…Please-" there were just no other words for it. He needed his brother as much as his brother needed him.

The events of the last few hours got the better of him and he fell to his knees, bringing Dean along with him. And Dean offered no resistance.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"Dean?" Sam started, turning his head towards Dean as they remained seated on the ground, their backs still resting against the Impala. They hadn't left the motel yet. They sat shoulder to shoulder as they were in front of the bumper of the Impala. Unmoving but together.

He wanted so badly to give him back the amulet, to watch him place it back around his neck where it belongs-but it wasn't time. Sam knew without doubt that Dean loved him as much as Sam loved Dean…but the wound on his big brother's heart was too raw, too broken…Dean didn't need a necklace to remind him of how he felt about his brother, Sam understood that-but that part of his mind that wondered if Dean would come to his senses one day and leave Sam because he wasn't worth the trouble to brought into Dean's life-was too strong for him to pull the amulet out and ask if Dean wanted it. And if Dean didn't want it because of Sam-well, it just hurt too much to know just yet.

Dean was looking at Sam, waiting for what his baby brother had to say. "Yeah Sammy?"

"You know I love you, right?" Sam looked at his brother with desperate eyes; knowing the truth about his brother's feeling about him but needing to hear it anyway.

"…I love you too Sammy…" Dean hadn't said those words aloud in years, yet they rolled off his tongue so easy that he wondered why he hadn't said them as often as he wanted to.

Dean's body moved faster than he realized when he found himself pulling Sam's jacket and wrapping his arms around him. Instinctively Sam moved his arms to hold on to his Dean and hook his chin over Dean's shoulder. The warm and safety of being in his brother's arms wrapped around him to his very core and he would have sold his soul to just be able to stay like this forever.

They were still hurt, and there was so much they had to do, but this? This right here? Being in the arms of their soulmate? There was no where they'd rather be.

_I really hope you enjoyed! Next up is a fic request I got to do when Sam came back from Flagstaff _


	36. After Flagstaff

Prompt: Could you talk about when Sam came back from Flagstaff?

*_Grins evilly*_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

_-If you were gone it would be as if my bones had been removed. No one would know why, but I would collapse.- Sarah Kane_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Living on his own for these past few weeks in Flagstaff still hadn't prepared twelve year old Sam for the fact that he had to wake up every morning alone and without his family. All his life he had them by his side and ever since he ran away he felt...wrong. He had his own place, he had his own dog, Sam Winchester had everything he needed; but it was still wrong. Lost in his own thoughts, it started too quick for Sam to have time to prepare. One second he was awake and with his dog, Bones, the next second-

Random flashes of light and pain assaulted Sam's vision. He was just about to take Bones out for a walk when he had to fall to his knees due to the blinding pain that grabbed at his head, stabbing at him like a knife. Sam could hear Bones barking by his head as he lay on his legs in agony, the dog's nose nuzzling at his shoulder in worry.

But Sam couldn't focus on anything but the pain that was buried deep in his head. Suddenly, as quick as the headache came, Sam felt almost in slow motion his body fall down, slamming his head on the edge of the table and ending with him unconscious.

"_I_ _don't know what to do Bobby…" _

_Sam watched from the eyes of his brother, seeing the sight of Bobby on the opposite side of the table looked at Dean with pain-filled eyes. He wasn't sure how he knew he was looking from his big brother's eyes but he had no doubt that it was Dean whom he was looking through._

_Sam didn't know how this was happening, he didn't even know how he ended up passing out and dreaming-but this dream was so vivid…too realistic for Sam to understand how this was happening but that didn't mater right now, not when he was seeing Dean._

"_I know he left because of this-this life" Dean couldn't control the fear and pain in his trembling voice. "…but he didn't even leave a note! I thought-we thought that he-w-was…"_

_Dead. The words couldn't even come out of his mouth. _

"_He'll come back when he's ready." Bobby said in the gentlest tone that Dean had ever heard. "Sam is a smart kid, smarter than most people see. He just needs a break-"_

"_What if he doesn't come back?" Dean cuts through, his real worry trembled from his lips. Dean felt broken inside. No one could see it with the naked eye, but it was obvious to those who knew and love him. "What-what if the real reason he left was because of me?" _

"_Dean no." Bobby said with conviction. "It's not you, I know it's not about you."_

"_Sam was frustrated with me, frustrated that I couldn't stand up to dad, that I couldn't help him… not the way that he wanted me to…" _

_Dean knew that he was failing at keeping up his walls anymore; no longer could he act like he could carry all the weight that went with being Dean Winchester, no longer could he focus on saving people, hunting things…Sam didn't see him as his hero anymore and knowing that made Dean lose all focus on his hunting, how could he when Sam was gone and he had no idea where he was? Whether he wanted to come back or he was never going to see him again. John was furious when he had come back home and was told that Sam was gone. Dean had never been scared of his dad until that day._

_John was disappointed in him. He blamed him; thought that Dean should be the one who was missing. He didn't that, he didn't say anything when Dean had told him. He just told Dean to help him look for Sam. But John's dissatisfied silence was ten times worse than any harsh words that John could have said._

"_Dean…" Bobby's tone was soft, caring, reaching over the small table to rest a hand on Dean's shoulder. He gripped him firmly, trying to ground Dean back and let him know that this was about Sam and Sam alone. Sam was going to be back, of that Bobby was sure of. When it came to a bond like Sam and Dean, he knew that no matter what they said or did, they would _always_ come back to one another. No matter what. "He'll come back…"_

"_Not if he had no reason to…" The confession left Bobby unable to speak. Dean kept his gaze down, knowing that if Sam never came back, Dean would be unable to be what made him _Dean_. _

Sam opened his eyes with a gasp, Bones was licking his face rapidly in concern, whimpering in concern as Sam wearily sat up, his back resting against the table. His legs were shaking still and his head still felt like it was on fire.

It was a dream. It must have been...Yeah, it wasn't real-it couldn't have been real. It was all a dream… right? God, he hoped it was just a dream. The thought of Dean blaming himself for what Sam did made him feel sick to his very core; hurting him worse than the headache did. Sam wanted to go back-no, he _needed_ to go back. He wanted to scream at Dean, scream and shout at him, to beg him to believe when he said that it wasn't because of Dean that he left, he was never because of Dean. It was his superhero, he always will be.

He needed to go back, and he needed to go as soon as possible.

"We gotta go Bones." Sam wobbly stood up, Bones helping him up by placing his body by Sam's hand to stabilize him as Sam reached out to grip the wall in front of him. "We gotta go now."

In the back of his mind, Sam half expected Dean to come out and help him back, past memories of the countless times that they had to move off to a new home. How easily they had been able to laugh and talk about anything and everything as they were ready for their new lives.

It didn't take long to pack, he didn't take much to begin with. His backpack swung around his back, Sam knelt down by a panting Bones, burying his face by the dog's shoulder and he hugged him close to him comfortingly. "Thank you Bones…for being here…but it's time to go."

Bones wagged his tail anxiously, tilting his head in confusion. Sam sighed sadly, and opened the door and set out, one hand holding on to Bones while the other hand held onto a case that was holding what little positions he owned. He couldn't bring Bones with him, knowing that he had to leave Bones behind but he was going to make sure that Bones was in good hands.

Sam had kept tabs on his family and thankfully, that hadn't moved away yet. A part of Sam hoped they had stayed in one spot because they were waiting for him. It was a foolish hope but he hoped to God that he hadn't completely ruined their relationship.

"What a cute dog!" Sam turned his head behind him to see a middle-aged man and woman by his side, looking down at Bones with affection, who was clearly loving the attention since he was wagging his tail eagerly at the sight of new people. Without permission, the woman knelt down and started ruffling Bones' golden hair and the man (her husband judging from the silver band on his left finger) was by her side watching his wife with the most adoring expression.

"Do you like him?" Sam asked, still holding onto leash.

"What's not to love?" The woman said grinning happily as she allowed Bones to lick her face eagerly.

"Then you can have him." Sam said, putting the leash in the husband's hands and walking away, ignoring their look of surprise and pleasure. Bones would be better off with a family who didn't hunt werewolves on a regular basis.

It took a while but eventually Sam was back. Back at where he knew Dean and their dad were currently living and thankfully the Impala was still there, parked in the sun and it gave Sam a new bust of eagerness to know that he was home…although it was the motel that was giving him the real problems. Sam looking at the motel door like it was a new form of a creature, unsure how to even start the attack. How was he going to pull off this conversation-"Hi guys, missed you, can I come back home though I had left and didn't tell you where I was going?"

Yeah like that was going to work perfectly.

But this was _Dean_ he was talking about. John would never trust Sam again but John would still love him. But Dean? If Dean had reacted like how he did in Sam's dream, how could Dean ever forgive him? He left him, abandoned him and had them all think that he was kidnapped or dead…any other family would never forgive him for this…all other families that weren't Dean. Even through all that, if anyone would still love him and still be there for him, it was Sammy's big brother. It was always going to be Sam and Dean, always and forever. He needed his brother…more than that it was like Dean was ingrained in his soul. He couldn't live without him.

Sam stopped his pacing, crossing his arms around his chest although it wasn't cold. Dean was there…he had to go home. And if Dean didn't want him back, he would just go one to prove to him that he was sorry and that he would always love his brother. When it came to Dean, he could never stop caring for was impossible for him.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Sam stepped up to the door and gave a swift knock. Before he could even blink, a disheveled Dean opened the door before Sam even had time to finish knocking. Sam was momentarily shocked at how he could have gotten to the door so fast when a thought sudden occurred to him: Dean had seen him pacing outside the door, and he did nothing because he was waiting; waiting for Sam to make the first move and see if he really did want to come home.

And there was no way that Sam would deny his brother that.

"Hey Dean." Sam tried softly, blinking rapidly as he felt the tears start coming before he had time to prepare. Dean looked at Sam for exactly one second in pure silence before he knelt down on one knee and pulled Sam into a fierce, tight hug that was somehow too tight and perfect and the same time. Sam fisted his fingers on the fabric of Dean's shirt, pulling him closer against him just as Dean did the same. "You're back…" Dean whispered. Small and childlike and it caused Sam to just _break_.

Sam's body trembled with the strength of his tears, his whole body relaxing at the loving embrace of his big brother. Sam felt his shoulder where Dean's head lay grow wet and he realized that Dean was crying, actually sobbing at having his little brother come back. Dean rarely showed such raw emotions like this, but when it came to Sam, all bets were off. The strength of Dean's love for him would never cease to amaze him and ensure that he knew his love and devotion for his brother would never go unrequited.

"I'm so sorry Dean." Sam's voice broke in misery, everything in him breaking without his permission. "I'm so sorry I left. I missed you so much-I wanted you to come with me just I wasn't going to be gone forever-I should stayed."

"It's okay Sammy." Dean didn't hide the crack in his voice, his fingers running through Sam's brown hair in a calming rhythm while his other hand was rubbing soothing circles on Sam's thin back. "All that matters is that you are here." The grip was tight like Dean thought Sam would slip past him once again and Sam kept his own hold just as tight.

They were finally together. His real family, the only family he needed was right in front of him, safe and sound with his arms wrapped around Sam in such a protective manner that was so loving, that Sam couldn't bring himself to let go of his big brother.

And Dean didn't mind it at all.

_I hope you liked it! The next chapter will be one of my own ideas about Dean going missing and Sam looks for him. I even added a new creature that the show hasn't had but their books have!_


	37. It Hurts To Be Separated

_I hope this is any good. Ugh, I can't wait for this semester to be over..._

-"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected."- Unknown

Ever since Sam had confessed to Dean when they were in the Impala that he was sick from the blood infection because of the whole Darkness-Is-Here-and-Is-A-Girl problem, his big brother had been trying to find cases that wouldn't cause Sam to get injured. Yes, now Sam was cured but protective big brother Dean was insisting that any cases they take for the next few weeks be easy and stress-free…

Well...at least he tried…

"Sir? Sir! Why won't he wake up?"

"Damnit Hannah, I'm a blogger not a doctor!"

"You run a pointless board about _Lost _theories! The show ended five years ago!"

"And I'll have you know that I am 87% sure that those are true!"

"You know what, never mind. What should we do about this guy?"

"I dunno. Is he dead?"

"No idiot, he's breathing, see his chest!?"

"Oh boy do I…"

"This is _so_ not the time for this…."

Sam tried opening his eyes to locate the two strange voices although it was easier said than done. Sam clenched his teeth painfully as he started moving which only sent pain straight through his whole body. He groaned under his breath as he heard the voices resume once again.

"Oh thank God. Sir, we called an ambulance, they should be here soon." One of the female voices said in a worried tone. Sam groaned, needing to get away from this. Ugh, everything hurt...

He didn't know how he ended up wherever he was, last thing he remembered was that he and his brother had found a shape shifter attacking a nearby town, they were called Selkie, and they were a nasty bunch. Usually they were in groups, hunting and feeding off of humans but this time there was just a loner, making the brothers assume it wouldn't be a difficult hunt.

Sam wanted to go back twelve hours and slap him and his brother's younger selves for that moronic thought.

Last thing he remembered was being cornered by the creature. It was on top of him, landed hard on his back with almost bone-breaking strength. Last he knew, his handgun was pushed out of his grip, leaving him defenseless.

Well, almost defenseless.

Dean had come to his aid, stabbing the Selkie in the back but not fatally. The monster gave an earth shattering screech and made a swipe and Sam, banging his head against the Impala and he remembered no more.

They had to find the Selkie, but he knew that he needed to get up, get Dean, and get the hell out of dodge. The only problem was-

_Where's Dean? _The thought was running through his head like a chant. It didn't matter who these people were, he needed to find Dean. Sam started to sit himself up.

A blurry face with blonde hair and concerned blue eyes moved into his vision, trying to sit him back down. "I-I don't think you should be moving-" The girl tried, timidly trying to push him back.

"Where's Dean?" Sam mumbled in a weak voice, unsure where he was but he knew that Dean wasn't there with him, so therefore he didn't want to be there.

"Who?" The blonde girl asked, looking at her brunette friend who shrugged unhelpfully with a "how am I supposed to know" look on her face. Turning back to Sam, the girl frowned in confusion. "There's no one else here, just you."

And that set Sam off.

Sam reaches over and grabs the girl by her coat sleeve urgently and started pulling her closer, and from the sudden fear in her eyes, he must look and hysterical as he felt. But caring about this girl's feelings wasn't at the top of his list, nor was the girl's friend who was screaming something about pepper spray at Sam while digging through her purse.

"Was there a man here before?" Sam demanded, pulling the girl (Hannah, was it?) closer while ignoring her confusion and her friend's current pursuit to look for her pepper spray, and Sam could have swore that he heard her mutter something about being in the first five minutes of a Carver Edlund book. "Was there?!" Sam demanded.

Shaking her head truthfully, Hannah's expression brought Sam back to his sense and he hurriedly lets her go, to which she immediately and hastily moved away from him, her friend now abandoning her futile search for a weapon was now behind Hannah and grabbing her shoulders comfortingly. "Some help you were." Hannah muttered under her breath as she stayed by her friend's side.

"I'm not good at stressful situations." The brunette answered defensibly.

But as guilty as Sam felt for scaring these girls who were just trying to help him on this empty road, he found himself unable to properly care. Not with Dean missing.

"I need to go, I need to find my brother." Sam proclaimed in a shaky voice, wobbly standing up. A sigh of relief escaped his lips at the sight of the Impala, still here and currently undamaged. Neither girls responded towards his answer; they could only stand next to each other, away from him yet still engrossed in whatever happening with the strange man they had found that was knocked out next to his car.

Sam opened the Impala car door and shifted her into gear, leaving the young women still entirely confused although safe and with an interesting story to tell the cops. Sam ignored them and drove away, needing to get back to their motel room and find out where his brother is.

Although his stomach disagreed with his mission.

Pulling off to the side of the road, Sam put the car in park, promptly got out of the car, and tried not to puke as he dry heaved off the side off the road.

Okay, so let's see here: Dean is missing, a shapeshifter had him, and Sam has no idea where it could have taken him or if he's even still in the town. As much as Sam was thankful that Dean was not dead (Sam refused to have the opposite conclusion be an option, if he was dead, it would have killed them both. Therefore Dean was alive), he didn't know where to begin with locating the creature.

Sam hunched over the side of the road, tears of frustration sliding down his cheeks. With a growl of defiance, Sam rose up and slide back into the Impala's driving seat. Breathing deeply, Sam thought back to what he and Dean had researched about these Selkie, once his head stopped throbbing from the force of the hit to the side of his head.

"_From what the Men of Letters say," Dean exclaimed with a small hint of interest, it wasn't often that they found a creature that they had never encountered before. "Is that the Selkie tend to impersonate people of the town for years, decades even."_

_Sam leaned over Dean's shoulder, glancing at the book that Dean was skimming. "Random people or certain people?"_

"_Eh, looks like random." Dean sulked. "But it says that they kill the real person, and basically take over their life."_

"_So, what if we go over the missing persons list of the town?" Sam suggested. "It's a small town, maybe it won't be too hard."_

_They had found the house of a missing person who was gone for a week before returning, she was a deputy. Her disappearance didn't get much attention because she claimed she had just gone through a painful breakup and needed a break, not telling anyone._

_Yeah right._

"_So we'll spilt up on the road since this is where the last person when missing." Sam said, gesturing his flashlight to the road as they had just finished searching the empty house._

"_Now remember Sammy, if you see an ominous dark figure, the appropriate response is to run." Dean said matter-of-factly in his mock serious voice, a hint of a smirk on his lips._

_Sam was about to offer a rebuttal when the __Selkie jumped at him, landing on his back. Pain exploded from his head. Sam could feel its mouth close to his face when the monster suddenly gave a blood-curling scream by his ear, damn near making him deaf. Before he felt darkness start to surround his vision, Sam saw Dean holding a hunting knife with fresh blood on it from stabbing the creature in the back._

And that was when he last saw his brother and the shifter.

Sam slammed his fist against the steering wheel, his feeling of helplessness rising. He had no idea where the shifter would be. It clearly wouldn't be back in its usual fortress and they had no other leads other than what the shifter's human form looked like.

Sam's head snapped up at the last thought. He knew what it looked like, the whole town did. Closing the car door with a slam, Sam speed towards the police station, praying he wasn't too late.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"Yeah we saw Helen, 'but an hour ago." The sheriff, his name Jacob, confessed, staring at Sam with a worried expression. "You look…edgy. You okay? Where's that partner of yours?"

"I need an answer for when you last saw her." Sam insisted, gripping the edges of the sheriff's desk. "What did she say? Did she mention where she was going?"

The sheriff frowned his brows, deep in thought. "Well, she was supposed to take the shift with me tonight, but she said she had some family emergency, that she'd be back tomorrow."

"Did she say where she was going?!" Sam's patience snapped like a daisy chain, he couldn't wait any longer; Sam needed his brother back _now_.

"I think Helen said she was going to her cabin?" Jacob half raised his hands in a guess, unsure why this was important. "It's been in her family for decades. She was in a rush, I don't think she said how long she would be-"

"I need that address _now_." Sam's voice was dangerously low. He stayed silent as he watched Jacob quickly scramble down her address on paper. Sam pulled the paper out of the man's hand before he even had time to ask Sam what was going on. Muttering out a quick word of thanks, Sam rushed out, already planning out the different ways he was going to slaughter the Selkie when he got his hands on it.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam parked the Impala on the side of the road, far enough where Helen couldn't see it from her cabin. His head threating to implode and his gun gripped in his hands, Sam stayed out of sight, hidden behind trees as he observed the cabin. Lights were on inside, proving that Helen was home, and hopefully still had Dean.

"Not very quiet, are we?" Said a female voice.

Sam didn't even have time to turn around when he felt a hard object land against his head, sending him harshly onto the ground. Helen stood above him, a sneer on her lip at the sight of the fallen Winchester. Helen took a few steps closer, putting a foot on Sam's chest to keep him from moving.

"You know, your brother is quite the fighter." Helen lightly touched her jaw, revealing a bruise that Sam could only assume Dean had given her. Sam fought to stay awake, the head wound forcing his brain to try and stay conscious. He couldn't pass out, he would _not_ pass out, he needed Dean, he had to get to Dean.

"I had to brag that I slaughtered you back on that road, though that only pissed him off more." She shrugged, pushing more weight onto Sam's stomach, enjoying the sound of him crying out in pain. "I'll relish the sight of your brother when I bring him back your head."

Abruptly, too quick for Sam to even blink, Helen's eyes widen, his gaze held pain, confusion.

She fell to the ground, showing a butcher knife buried deep into the back of her head.

And there, directly behind where Helen once stood, was Dean. Weak, barely standing, but Dean. "Stupid bitch really should have checked to make sure I was really unconscious." And with that, Dean promptly fell to his knees, exhaustion beating him.

Relief hitting him like a punch in the gut, Sam quickly scrambled up despite the pain and soon he was falling to the ground in front of his brother.

"Hiya baby brother." The rasping, completely broken tone that was wrapped Dean's words tore into Sam's heart. Grasping his big brother's wrists, Sam slowly pulled Dean up from the forest ground; his grip both tight and protective.

Teeth chattering rapidly, Dean's eyes were slightly unfocused from the head injury yet despite that he could tell that it was Sam in front of him.

"Hey buddy,' Sam soothed, pulling his brother into his arms without any more delay. Bowing his head, Sam leaned his forehead against his brother's cool skin, his tears mixing with the blood on his brother's cheek. "I'm here Dean, it's okay. It's okay." Pressing his lips against Dean's bruised cheek with tenderness, Sam forgot his own pains and could only center his attention on his big brother.

Dean's fingers gripped either side of Sam's shoulders, holding him tightly and wishing that could never let go.

"What took you so long?' Dean mumbled, giving a weak laugh.

Sam didn't stop himself from grinning.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"We're home Sammy." Dean shakes his sleeping brother awake, carefully tugging on Sam's arm to help him out of the Impala. Sam blinked his eyes several times, memories of the night coming back to him in a rush. Dean doesn't say anything as he tenderly helps Sam out of the car and to the bunker's front door.

Sam leaned his worn-out body against the doorway of their home, his energy failing by the second. God, he was so tired.

"Hey Sammy, it's okay, we're okay." Dean soothed, his arm was around Sam's waist, comfortingly leading him towards their room.

"I was so scared." Sam whispered softly, plopping onto the bed with a sense of fear and anxiety that was still in his body language. He could have lost Dean, he could have lost his brother. There were too many situations like this where Dean had almost died and every time, Sam feels like someone tore off a piece of his soul and left him for dead.

"I'm sorry Sammy." Dean sat down next to Sam, wrapping an arm around Sam's back and pulling him against his chest. "I'm so sorry."

Sam held on as he bit his bottom lip to keep from letting out a break in his voice. "I was-I thought-"

"But it didn't." Dean answered, knowing what is brother was thinking. They were both alive, and that was all they needed. "We're safe Sammy…"

Dean hugged Sam and wrapped his arms hard and possessively around Sam, letting his little brother burying his face against his shoulder, turning his head until he can feel Dean's heart beating against his face. Sam then moves his arms up possessively around Dean's firm back and sighs, moving his head so that he rested his cheek against Dean's chest.

They didn't say anything else, though they understood what the other was thinking. How glad they were that the other was safe. How they wanted with all their heart to never leave the other side. And how much they valued the other as their soulmate.

"I love you De…" Sam's voice was muffled against Dean's chest but his brother heard him.

"Love you Sammy." Dean whispered, reaching down to brush his lips against Sam's hair.

It was difficult to be a Winchester, but most days it was the best thing that could have ever happened to them. As long as they had each other, it made everything they went through, every pain they had endured and horrors they had been forced to see from a young age was worth it, because they had each other.

And that was something that was never going to change.

_Creature: Selkie-Shapeshifting monsters who can look like humans._

_Appearances: Black eyes, razor sharp teeth, and gray skin._

_Powers: super strength, super speed, enhances sense._

_Weaknesses: Fatal wounds involving their heads or chests._

_The next chapter is another prompt that one of my lovely reviewers asked for. When Sam and Dean go looking for a ghost and it takes Dean. I have a weakness for hurt!Dean. I can't help it._

_I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day!_


	38. The Haunting

So can you do one where Sam and Dean investigate a haunted house and the create takes Dean and he goes a little stir crazy? Sorry if I'm not making sense 

_I love this idea! This one is kinda creepier then the other chapters, I just wanted to warn you. I REALLY hope you like it!_

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"This is going to be a nasty one." Dean sighed knowingly, gripping his hold tightly on the steering wheel. He kept his eyes straight ahead yet his mind was on the case, thinking about how they were going to solve this one.

Sam had discovered the case located a few states over. Some guy had gone to the police two days ago, completely hysterical while he confessed to a manslaughter he had committed twenty years ago. Apparently, the guy when in his teens had taken his sister out to explore some abandoned house that was next door to them when his sister fell through the floorboards, the wood too weak to hold much weight. As a "joke", he had left his little sister there, screaming and alone, and unknown to him, she was having a severe panic attack that only made her get worse. The brother came back a few hours later, only to discover that she was dead, died by a heart attack at being left alone.

Well good riddance to that sick asshole was what Dean had thought to himself darkly. The only reason the man had even confessed to the murder was when he said that people who went inside the house would disappear, only to be found dead of the same condition as his sister: heart attack.

"I'm with you on that one." Sam sighed in agreement, disgust in his tone as he held a flashlight in one hand while holding their map. "We're a few miles away, we should get there soon." Sam continued. Neither brother was looking forward to burning a young girl's bones, but she had killed four people that they knew about. She had to be stopped.

Dean pulled the Impala out by the back of the house, cutting the engine. Sam leaned forward, giving the house a quick glance. A sigh escaped him, a feeling of dread starting to take hold of him.

Dean pushed the door open with ease as Sam followed his brother's lead, both brother's opening the trunk of the car to gather weapons and their EMF meter. Tucking their hand guns into their pockets, they grabbed the salt guns with their free hands. Heading towards the worn down house, they walked up the porch, side by side.

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The house was what you would expect being haunted by a ghost: Creepy.

Unfortunately, the house was big enough that it would be a while before they found out where they body was and the man who let the girl die here wasn't being helpful enough to answer any question; not since he killed himself only a few hours ago.

Yeah, this case was a mess.

"I see nothing. Anything on the EMF?' Sam looked over Dean's shoulder at Dean's homemade Walkman/EMF. No noise or glimmer of light showed that they still had a while to go before the found the bones. Dean shook his head.

Sam cursed under his breath, turning to look over the rest of the room with his flashlight, his handgun held tightly in his hands. "So wanna catch a movie after this?" Sam asked, his focus on any anomaly.

"_Yes_." Dean said in eagerness. Sam smiled in the dark, his brother's enthusiasm never failing to make him grin. "How about the movie that's basically an R rated Mario Kart with feminism?"

"Do you even need to ask twice?" Dean called back as he continued to the dining room slowly, his footsteps hardly making a creak, a talent that he had since he was five.

"You're getting the popcorn this time, I can't keep up with your butter obsession." Sam drawled, grinning that the thought of the last time they went and Dean had more butter than popcorn ion their meal.

"In your dreams-" Dean was suddenly cut off. No grunt of pain, no call for help.

His voice just stopped.

"Dean?"

Sam raced to the other room faster than he had thought possible. "Dean?!" Sam shouted, a horrible sinking feeling in his gut. Sam shouted his brother's name throughout the rooms until his voice broke painfully. Where was his brother? How could he just disappear? Was there a booby-trap in the room? The others who went missing...No one had ever found their bodies…were they killed instantly?

Sam's breathing stopped at the thought. No…no that couldn't be it. Sam would know if Dean was dead. He would feel it.

No, Dean was alive, and Sam was going to find him. Even if it meant being sent to the same place as Dean, he was going to find him.

Reaching for his phone Sam flipped it out and dialed his brother number, praying that they were lucky enough for wherever Dean was to have signal. _Please answer please be okay please Dean I need to know you're okay please-_

"_Sammy_?"

It was static-y and was breaking up but Dean was alive and that was all that mattered.

"Oh thank God Dean." Sam sighed, almost falling to the floor in relief. "Are you okay? Do you know where you are?"

"_Not anywhere good_." Dean answered, his voice tense like he was trying to keep from freaking out. "_It's dark but I can tell dirty here…maybe the basement…Sammy I can't stay here-please you've got to get me out of here please_-" Dean's voice was getting shakier. It was unlike Dean to be like this. Of course this wasn't good but it felt like Dean was panicking more than Sam would have thought-

Oh

Of course.

She died afraid.

She would want her victims to feel the same.

"Dean? Hey come on buddy, talk to me." Sam calmed his voice down, knowing that if he acted as worried as he felt, he would only make Dean's panic worse. "Are you hurt?"

Dean's breathing was heavy and difficult. He could only feel fear and pain. He couldn't do this he couldn't-

But _Sam_ was talking to him, was worried for him, and when it came to his baby brother, he would do anything he had to do to make his Sammy feel safe.

"Dean." Sam' voice cracked, his heart breaking at the knowledge that Dean, his brother, was suffering…and he wasn't there with him. His hold on his cell was slippery with sweat, his strong composure failing. He started walking across the other rooms, opening every door and checking every hallway for a sign of where Dean be. "Just hold on Dean, it's going to be okay. Believe me, I'm going to find you."

And Dean believed him. Or course he believed his Sammy, with all his heart. But that didn't stop the fear from clutching at his heart and make his chest feel like it was being crushed.

"_Just-distract me-anything, please Sammy_." Dean was whispering now, the fear part of the ghost's death starting to take over, making Sam feel even more useless. Dean's breathing became irregular, desperate inhales of breath that wasn't coming in his lungs.

"What-what do you want me to say?" Sam .was ready to do whatever he had to as long as it helped the most important person in his life. He would do it. For Dean.

"_Anything, I don't care, please Sammy-I feel like I'm losing it." _

"It's the ghost." Sam answered, his voice shaking. "She's making you feel what she felt when she died."

There was a short silence on the other end of the phone, showing that Dean was thinking about what Sam had said. "_That-kinda makes me feel better…Can-can you talk to me…please?"_

_Anything you need, Dean, I will do it for you, I promise._

It was hard to think of something to get Dean's mind off of this, but Sam would do anything to help. Dean would have done the same for him, and Sam was no different. "Why don't you wear dad's jacket anymore?" Sam blurted out the first thing that came to mind, needing to do whatever he needed to as long as he saved Dean. It was something that Sam had wondered bu never really asked Dean for the reason.

There was a short silence, Dean was so quiet Sam had to strain his ears to hear his brother's breathing. It was a random question, he understood that, but he always wondered why Dean stopped. "_I-I stopped wearing it because…" _Dean exhaled softly. Sam could tell without seeing him that Dean was closing his eyes tightly shut, getting his bearings back and calming his voice down. Dean was the bravest person Sam had ever known; this ghost was causing him pain and for that, she would have to be burned.

"Yes?" Sam prompted gently, clutching the cell in his shaking hands as he continued his way across the house, finally making his way to the basement.

"_I-I wore the jacket-at first-because dad was my hero…he always was, I wanted to be exactly like him…but…after a while, I realized that as much as I loved dad-I still do-I don't want to be him anymore…"_

"Who do you want to be Dean?" Sam prompted, freezing his steps momentarily.

"…_I want to be _me_."_

Sam would have cried if he had enough energy to do so.

He was lost without the foundation that is his brother. He needed to find Dean and _nothing_ was going to stop him.

He needed to get Dean back. He was going to find him, that he had no doubt, it was whether or not he would get there before Dean broke was the problem. This ghost was making its victim feel insane and in panic, it would be enough to make anyone feel like they were losing it.

But when it came to his brother, if anyone could beat that ghost sickness, it was Dean. "Can you hear anything? Can-can you hear footsteps, my voice, anything?"

"_I hear footsteps! Sammy, I hear it!" _Their connection was breaking, sending Sam's nevre3s on a frenzy. He had to fund Dean now.

Relief formed throughout Sam's whole body as he sped up his process down into the basement. Dean was close, he could feel in in his gut. He couldn't explain how he knew Dean was here. It was just like something was calling him there. "Dean I'm close! Do you still hear me?"

"_You're closer-" _and here the connection broke, making it impossible for the past victims to be able to call for help with no signal past the house.

Sam stopped in his tracks, hearing Dean's actual voice close by. Shining his light ahead of him, he saw a huge, gaping dark hole in the middle of the wooden floor.

"Dean!"

Sam rushed over to the edge of the hole, looking down with his light and chocked back a cry of relief to see Dean. He was holding his ankle delicately and was purposefully looking away from the bodies that were surrounding him.

"Sammy." Dean breathed a sigh of release.

Sam reached down, careful of Dean's injuries as he grabbed his arm, gripping the edge of the splintered floorboards as support, using his other hand to pull his brother up.

It was difficult, but working together, Dean was free.

Sam pulled his brother against his body tightly, not caring that he was sobbing in relief at his brother's presence. Dean, weak and pale and ready to pass out, wrapped his arms around Sam with all of his strength. _They were okay, they were safe, they are together, it's okay, he's here he's here they're together like they should be he's here._

"Stop scaring me like that." Sam gave a watery laugh, burying his head against Dean's dust-covered shoulder.

Dean moved his head over to plant a kiss to Sam's temple. "Had to let you be the hero for once." Dean joked back, knowing that they needed this banter or they would both just end up sobbing.

"Jerk." Sam scoffed, reaching over to place a gentle kiss on his brother's cheek before moving his hand to grip the back of Dean's head, his fingers carding through Dean's hair in a soothing and steady manner.

"Bitch." Dean laughed, stroking Sam's tear-stained cheek in the same soothing method.

They didn't move from that position for a while.

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Smelling like soot and decomposing bodies from quickly lighting a match inside the house, Dean breathed a sigh of relief that they were barely able to get away after they made the phone call to the fire department. The bodies were be burned but the brothers had no doubt that the police would be able to identify the bodies as the missing persons, giving closure to the families. It wasn't much, but it was the best a hunter could do.

Sam carefully wraps his brother's sprained wrist and ankle in fresh bandages from the first aid kit. "Finished." Sam exhales, hooking his arm across Dean's back, his fingers cupping the back of his brother's head possessively and pulled him close to his own body, pressing a kiss against Dean's hair lovingly. Dean sighs in peace, needing this contact so much.

"We are never doing a case involving tight spaces again, agreed?"

Dean nods in agreement, plopping on their bed and scooting his body towards the side, leaning room for Sam to lie down as well, lightly rested his bandaged arm around his baby brother when Sam lies down next to him. Sam shifts over and pushes himself against Dean, arms around his brother's waist, pulling him close, chest on chest. Dean pulls Sam tightly against his torso, letting Sam's cheek rest on Dean's collarbone. Their breathing in sync, the brother's fall into a peaceful sleep, hearts beating as one.

_Thank you for reading! The next chapter is when the boys celebrate Christmas because I need all the cheesy Christmas scenes. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day! _


	39. Merry Christmas

_Thank you all so very much for you helpful reviews and amazing prompts! I hope you are having a wonderful day!_

From past experiences, celebrating something usually wasn't a good sign. When the Winchesters were younger, their dad would usually properly celebrate a holiday or a birthday if something bad was going to happen. When Dean had his tenth birthday in which John had actually gotten him a bike that he had been eyeing for a couple of months, their dad was soon explaining how he needed Dean to start having to look for jobs that could bring in some extra money for food. When the brother were celebrating their seventh Thanksgiving together with actual turkey and homemade mashed potatoes, their dad was telling them that they were going to miss finishing yet another school year.

It hadn't been something they had ever really taken the time to sit down and think about. It wasn't a holiday to them where one would drop everything and make sure the house was decorated, or that they wanted call a loved one. It was just another day out of the year where they would get up and keep on fighting. And the last Christmas they had involved it being centered around the fact that Sam was going to have his big brother ripped to shreds by hellhounds because Dean had sold his soul to save Sammy. So celebrating pretty much anything was not in their top priorities.

Until this year.

With both Sam's and Dean's birthdays having honest-to-God presents and the safe feeling of home without any bad news or confessions of having to go somewhere that neither of them wanted to go, the Winchester brothers were considering another change that would enter into their lives starting with their "soulmate" thing. Holidays wasn't something either brother really enjoyed or went out of their way to do…but this they could do.

It wasn't something they sat down and discussed. It just happened. Though Dean was the one who started it by looking at some pine trees that they were passing on one of their trips back to the bunker, responding with a not to subtle "Do you think one of those would fit in the bunker?" He kept his eyes on the road but his fingers tensed around the wheel of the car, waiting for Sammy's reply.

It caught Sam by surprise, hearing Dean say something that related to the holiday. He hadn't had Dean hint around that since…well, since he had only a year left to live. The memory still sent daggers to Sam's heart even after all these years.

But he knew that if he acknowledged his confusion at his big brother's request that Dean would quickly clam up, thinking that his hope for a proper holiday would be judged by Sam. While that would never happen, Dean still wasn't used to this; to being cared for or having his requests taken seriously. "I think so." Sam replied with a small smile. Dean relaxed instantly at his brother's words.

And that was enough for Dean.

It was Sam's turned next. It had been a few days after their talk yet Dean hadn't forgotten about it. Dean had arrived home from buying food for the week for the both of them only to get home and to see a small box on decorations on their couch, in plain sight for Dean to see. Nothing extravagant, just some simple ornaments that would barely cover half of a tree that was most likely bought at a salvage store for half price.

But still it was more than enough for Dean.

It wasn't much but it was good enough. Which Dean was grateful for because he did not want to have been pulling this pine tree into the bunker for nothing. God, no one had told him that stuffing a tree into a small car was going to be this hard.

It was December but Christmas was still far enough away from the actual holiday that neither brother felt like this was something that they _had_ to do. They just wanted to do it. Gifts weren't needed either. For them, knowing that they were here, safe, that they had a home and each other was the best thing they could ask for.

And that was how the Winchester brother's spent December 25th. Safe, in their own home, only each other by their side as they sat on the couch watching black and white films. Nothing was said yet everything was out in the open.

So with the brothers, they didn't need to talk about it. It just happened. And for them that was enough.


	40. Live Free Or Die Hard

_HAPPY NEW YEAR!_

_I am just so grateful for all of the helpful tips and advice that has been given to me over the course of my time here. You all have helped me with my writing so much!_

_After rewatching the episode where Dean gets turned into a vampire for what probably is the 50__th__ time, I realized that I really, really, REALLY, wanted Sam to comfort Dean afterwards, but being Soulless!Sam, that clearly wasn't going to happen…So I took it into my own hands. I hope you enjoy!_

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Dean had a few ideas on how he would spend his New Year Day. More than a few actually, which ranged from having a beautiful girl on one arm while holding a cold beer in the other, to just dragging Sam with him to see the newest Star Wars film; though in all honest, it wasn't exactly a hard choice to make. Quickly he settled for the Star Wars option with Sammy. Ten years ago, Dean would have been scoffed at the idea of shrugging off a night at a bar with brunette by his side, just to be with his brother, but now Dean wouldn't have it any other way.

But judging from his current painful position, something had gone very wrong already within the New Year.

Nice going, 2016...

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_Painpainwronghurteverythinghurtwrongwrongwrong-_

Dean woke up with a gasp, shifting in the back seat of the Impala for the thousandth time in that hour, at least that's what it felt like to Sam. Dean was in an awkward sprawl with his head propped up against the right arm rest of their car door, with one foot resting against the floor of the car while the other leg was curled inward on the seat, underneath him. He shivered violently yet he felt like he was dying from heat. What was happening to him?

"_Sammy?" _Dean's lips were numb, making it feel as though speaking was impossible. Where was Sam? Everything just felt so _wrong_-so painful. Darkness surrounded him, suffocating him. He needed to wake up. This was just another nightmare. He would wake up and Sam would be there. He just needed to wake up. He had to wake up-

There was a familiar purring sound, too familiar for Dean to act like he didn't know that he wasn't safe in his bed with Sam next to him, and that this wasn't a nightmare...and worse was that Sam may not even be here.

Dean could feel from the familiar touch of fabric beneath him to the sound of his baby's purr that he was in the Impala, and he wasn't driving; and that right there proved to be another problem in his quick growing list of problems.

"Sa-Sammy?" Dean called out weakly. His voice was hoarse, making it painful to speak. He didn't remember what happened, why he was in the backseat, and why did it feel like every vein inside of him was on fire? He moved his arms so they would curl around his middle, trying to keep himself from becoming sick due to the Impala's bumpy movements. Twisting his head to the side by the window, he saw the familiar roads that they take when they are returning back to the bunker.

"Sam?!" Dean couldn't see him.

"I'm here Dean!" Sam called out from ahead of him. Oh thank you God, Sam was here. Wherever _here_ was didn't matter because Sam was here with him. But any real relief that he could have felt was gone when Dean thought that Sam's voice sounded a bit hysteric. Oh God was he hurt? No...please don't be hurt, Sammy.

"Y-you hurt?" Dean asked, hearing his voice become low and slurring. Dean could feel unconsciousness try to drag him down as his vision started to black, but he couldn't pass out, not until he knew Sam was okay. What was going on here? Where were they going?

"Dean don't talk." Sam turned his head over his shoulder as he drove. From the quick glance Dean was able to get to see his little brother's face, he could see the terror. "Please just-It's going to be alright Dean. Just don't move." Sam tried to keep his voice steady, to sound strong for Dean, but Dean knew him well enough to know the true emotions that were in his tone. Fear and uneasiness.

It was hard not to squirm when it felt like he was going to have heart attack. He was hot, so _hot_. It felt like he was spinning with how intense the pain felt. Everything was so _loud_. He could hear talking everywhere, feet shuffling, music blaring off in the distance but it felt like it was right there with him in the car. Ugh, and he was _starving_. It was like he hadn't eaten in years…no, _decades_. He hadn't felt this _wrong, _this _broken_ since-

Dean's heart stopped.

No.

No no no no no no, please no.

"Sam." Dean whimpered. He couldn't remember what they had been hunting, his memory was foggy and his head hurt like a mother. It felt wet and Dean was sure if he could have the energy to move his hand to feel his head he would feel blood on his skin. "Were-were we hunting a vampire?" He asked in a small voice, he couldn't talk any louder.

"Dean please don't move, I need to take you home." Sam's voice was shaky. He kept looking over at Dean more often than the road. "The bloodsuckers…they hurt you." Sam's words were laced with pure venom and Dean had little doubt in his mind of what Sam did to the surviving vamp. A small smile of pride flashed upon his handsome features.

"We can't go to the hospital." Sam spoke hurriedly, ashamed that he couldn't in any way ease his big brother's pain here and now. Even with blood loss and lying in the backseat of his precious car half conscious, Dean could hear the apology coming. "I'm so sorry De-"

"No, don't be…upset…smart idea." Dean spoke weakly. It hurt to speak, hell, it hurt to _breathe_ but he needed to get his message across to the most important person in his life. "You did good Sammy..." He added honestly. There was no way he could get the right help that he needed if they went to a hospital. "Sam…" Dean had to ask, couldn't wait a moment longer without knowing if it was happening all over again…because he wasn't fast enough, wasn't strong enough to kill the monster when he had a chance. If what he feared was true…well let's just say he'd rather die than hurt Sam with what he was turning into. "Sam…Did they- did they turn me?"

Sam's sharp inhale was answer enough.

Sam hadn't said anything, he could only look at Dean through the review mirror with worried, wrinkled forehead and terrified eyes. He let out a shaky breath before answering, though Dean could guess what he was going to say.

"It's fine Dean." Sam spoke over Dean's heavy breathing. He knew his big brother was panicking and he had to keep him calm. He had to keep him safe. "We know there's a cure now, we'll get the ingredients and you'll be okay. Just leave it to me. I'm going to save you."

Dean felt himself fade on Sam as his eyes drooped to a close, but not before whispering with conviction "I know you will Sammy…"

"Dean?!" Sam yelled after hearing the low words, he turned his head towards his brother again. He cursed under his breath when he saw his eyes droop shut, proving that he was too weak to fight off unconscious any longer. He had to get them home. He needed to do everything in his power to help his brother, and he wasn't going to let _anything_ get in his way.

Sam recalled with grin satisfaction when he caught the vamp responsible for biting his brother mere moments after smearing his bloodied palm against Dean's fresh wound on his bruised neck. Sam watched in horror as Dean's body seized up like he was quickly flooded with a sudden cold that overwhelmed his entire body. He was still feebly fighting off the bloodsucker even as he was slowly falling to the ground in pain, his mouth tight in a painful grimace.

Sam didn't mean for this to happen. They had been dealing with what they had thought was only two vamps. Their nest had been destroyed and they were supposed to be the only ones left.

Neither brother had seen the second one until it was too late.

By then Sam was being attacked by the first one, leaving Dean alone. Any other day Dean could have handled this vamp and a whole nest by himself with barely a scratch, but Dean was still recovering from a severe stab wound he had gotten recently from a hunt with a crazed ex-hunter. Not to brag but he had dealt with the maniac with only _one_ wound. Though with a soft smile, Dean recalled Sammy's horrified and mother-like behavior while tending to his big brother's injuries. Sam didn't see it as a victory.

Since Dean was still vulnerable, the vamp could smell the new wound like it had happened only a moment ago. It made sure to attack him there first, punching him full force at the wounded torso and leaving Dean in worse pain; enough pain for it to strike which lead to a bleeding Dean and a too far away Sam.

Dean had been semi-conscious at that point, the head wound along with all the other new injures making him unable to get away from his attacker. He watched groggily as Sam started to rush to him. Sam's facial expression held horror, fury, and anger. He ran closer to his fallen brother, his eyes only on Dean. But Dean shook his head at his baby brother; he couldn't allow Sam to be injured by this bloodsucking bastard. With a growl of defiance, Dean refused to allow Sam to be hurt because Dean was weak. Dean used the last of his energy to shove the blade into the creature which resorted in a scream from the vampire, knowing Sam could finish him off as Dean felt himself slip into unconsciousness.

Letting out a roar of unholy fury at the sight of the monster carelessly dropping Dean to the empty alleyway ground after letting his blood go into Dean's wound, Sam was able to grab the bloodsucker. Dean had already sunk his hand-made machete deep into the vampire's side, where it still resided. Sam had wasted no time to pull it out and hack the surprised vamp to pieces. No one messes with his big brother. _No one_.

He made sure he had kept enough blood of the vamp for the cure, thinking only of Dean. He wanted to leave the bodies here and focus only on his hurt brother, but he had to insure that they never came back. He piled the bodies' together and set fire to an abandon warehouse that was across the street, calling the cops as he made his way back to Dean.

Keeping his eyes on his brother from the review mirror, Sam thanked God when he finally pulled into the bunker, to their home, to safety.

Dean still hadn't awaken even as Sam ever so gently carried Dean bridal style out of their car, hosting him up farther so he could keep him as still as possible as Sam carried him away, to their home.

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The foul taste of blood was overwhelming him. The feel of a hot fever and nausea shot through his body. He could feel the poison in every part of his body. Everything was too hot and too bright. Dean moaned, moving to curl up on his side, trying to ease the pain in his stomach from his injuries and because of the vampire venom trying to force his body to adapt to his new cravings.

Something soft brushed against his cheek, gentle and caring. He instantaneously leaned closer to the touch without even realizing it at first. The warm touch cupped the back of his neck lightly, moving his head to the side as he started coughing. And Dean knew who it belonged to. The touch that instantly screamed out _safe_, _brother_, _home_.

_Sammy_.

"It's okay Dean. It's okay, I promise. I'm going to fix this buddy, just-just breathe for me." If Dean opened his eyes, he was sure he would be seeing Sam with his famous puppy-dog-eyes look that never failed to have Dean and anybody else within a ten mile radius want to do whatever it was that they could do to fix whatever was wrong. The thought made him smile slightly.

"Dean? ...Please man, open your eyes. I need to see you, please, just-Please?" Sam's voice had a small noticeable tremor in it. If their roles were reversed and Sam was the one, bleeding, transforming, and not moving, he knew would be reacting the same way. His eyelids felt like they weighed a ton but he was able to pry them open; he'd do anything that meant making Sam feel calm.

Sam smiled in tenderness at the sight, even though his lips trembled. The worry in his eyes seemed to pierce Dean's heart and left him wishing so much that this wasn't happening to Sam. He heard erratic beating and realized that it belonged to Sam...because of his new situation, he could hear Sam's heartbeat, panicked and rushed at the knowledge of his brother transforming. Dean reached his hand up and grab Sam's strong shoulder. "Gonna be 'kay Sammy…" And with that he felt his body shut down, leaving Sammy alone in the room, with an unconscious brother, who thankfully didn't see his tears.

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Adrenaline still was running through Sam's body, even though they now had a cure for this, it didn't make this situation any easier for either brother. Even if they didn't have a cure, Sam would never leave Dean. He was his brother, he would always be there for him. But Dean was hurt, bleeding, because Sam wasn't fast enough. The first time Dean had been turned, he was terrified of hurting others, of becoming a monster. Sam didn't want Dean to worry about that. He was going to help him…unlike last time.

They thankfully had all the ingredients that were needed for the concoction. Dean had insisted that they have them in case they had a chance to save someone from becoming a bloodsucker. As Sam started mixing the cure together, it started to turn into an ugly black liquid color. The sight turned Sam's stomach in disgust. Rushing over to his brother, Sam knelt down by the couch, shaking Dean's shoulder to awaken him. "Wake up buddy, I have the cure. All you need to do is drink it."

Dean moaned but opened his bloodshot eyes. One stiff had Dean's facial expression look like he was going to be sick.

"I know Dean." Sam sympathized, wishing his brother didn't have to suffer any more then he already had. "But just take it, you'll feel better, I promise."

Dean eyed the cup for a moment, looking back at Sam with a "Do I have to?" expression before swallowing his bile in defeat and reached for the cup. Tilting the mug up to his mouth, Dean drank the rank liquid all in one swallow. He waited for a few second for the pain like last time, yet there was none. "Was that it-" Dean didn't get to finish as the thick liquid suddenly exacted past his lips and he started throwing up the contents. Dean had to leaned on the side of the couch, dry heaving painfully.

Sam was right behind him, one hand on his arching back while the other hand rested against his chest, steadying him, whispering words of encouragement and praise. "It'll be over soon, you're going to be okay, I promise. You're doing so good. So good. You're gonna be fine Dean. I promise. I won't let anything bad happen to you. I'm so sorry."

Dean gaged again and resumed ridding his stomach of the liquid. Sam was still speaking to him, holding him close, Dean's back against Sam's chest as Dean whimpered in agony. His tone soothing even though he felt like he was close to tears. Dean wanted so much to comfort Sammy, to tell him everything was going to be alright, but his insides burned. _Fire _and _pain_ was all he could feel, erasing all thoughts of comfort and replacing it was pure agony.

Dean was thrashing against Sam despite his strong hold; his fingers gripped Sam's thin wrist to the point he was afraid he was hurting Sam. Dean just wanted so much to scream on the top of his lungs because there was nothing but _painIneedSammyagonyhurtpleaseGodmakeitstop _But still, through all the screams and moving, Sam refused to let go of him; he held him even tighter as Dean thrashed around his hold, keeping him together, making sure he knew that he was safe, that he was _never_ going to let go.

After what felt like hours later, even though he knew that it lasted just a few minutes, Dean stopped moving, falling limp against Sam as the white-hot pain simmered down to tolerable, which lowered down to being in a constant ache. Neither brother moved, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of both Winchester brother's breathing heavily. Sam exhaled a sigh as he rested his cheek against Dean's sweaty hair, rocking them both gently side to side. Dean sucked in deeply, his body still shaking slightly. "You did it Dean..." Sam whispered. "You're okay."

Nodding weakly, Dean turned his head towards Sam's shoulder. "Thank you Sammy…" Dean hoarsely muttered, still holding on to Sam's wrist like it was his life preserver.

"Anytime big brother." Sam promised by Dean's ear, pulling Dean somehow even closer against his chest. Dean's vision faded to black but he knew that Sam was going to be there when he woke up, and that was all he needed.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Awakening slowly from a dreamless sleep, Dean felt his breathing turn into coughing; air that he was desperate for neither going in or out. And then he felt hands on him-not painful nor demanding, just solid and warm and real. One hand was against his face; the thumb softly moving and back and forth while his palm of the hand was on the back of his head. Hands that he would know everywhere.

Sammy.

It was hard to understand what Sam was saying but it must be important because it was _Sam_ talking, of course it was important. If only his body would listen to him and start functioning like how he wants in to. His eyes were closed against his will although he wasn't too upset about that; not ready for any more blinding light that might shine his way.

"Hey buddy, it's me. You're fine, it's going to be alright now. I've got you." Sam's voice was urgent but carefully, knowing that he needed to calm his brother down, keep him safe just exactly like he knew Dean would do in Sam's place. He owed Dean so much and he loved him more and more every day for all the love and tenderness that Dean had placed on him.

Breathing didn't seem easy but he would do it for Sam. He could feel a rhythmic noise against his ear and he knew that he must be lying against his brother's chest; he could feel it moving up and down and he found himself following the lead, breathing in…and out…Sam's hand was still on the back of his head, while the other was now resting on his back, moving up and down in time with Dean's breathing. He felt weak against his brother yet he knew that he was safe as long as they were together.

All too soon, Dean felt Sam move away from him and he couldn't help the whimper of protest that escaped his lips. He wanted to call him back, but it still felt too hard to breathe…yet he knew that Sammy wasn't going anywhere, at least not without him. He suddenly felt Sam's hand fist possessively on the front of his shirt, seemingly hearing Dean's moan of hurt. His other hand was clamped down on Dean's forearm.

"You awake?"

"Barely…" Dean responded tiredly.

He heard Sam's half laugh and it brought a small smile to Dean's lips as he struggled against his eyelids for the ability to wake up. "How are you feeling buddy?" Sam asked with concern as he watched Dean's eyes flutter open carefully, blinking rapidly at the dimly lighted room that Sam made sure was low enough for his brother's still healing eyes.

Dean tried to scoot up on the couch but Sam put a hand on his chest, stilling him. Which Dean was grateful for when he felt his head was about to fall from his body at any movement. "Tired…" Dean answered in a small voice. Sam was surprised to see Dean look at him with concern. Anybody else who wasn't Sam would have been confused. Concern for Sam when he was the one who almost become a sparkling douche-bag? But Sam did understand. Dean was the one who just went through hell again but Sam was and always would be his only priority no matter what shape Dean himself was in.

Sam swallowed his panic that Dean was still in some pain and knew that he had to calm himself down. Dean's protectiveness was _just_ as strong as Sam's and he knew that if Sam showed his worry, that Dean in turn would become worried for Sam's well-being and he would instantly forget about the pain of his own body and start to care for Sam which could do more harm than good for his big brother's body.

Sam inhaled deeply, his own concern for Dean was still strong even though he knew from the strong color in Dean's cheeks and his strong inhale and exhale that he was getting better by the minute; yet this whole ordeal had Sam feel on edge.

"I know Dean…" Sam said affectionately, following his brother's lead and speaking in a soft voice. "Here, I got you some water…" Sam picked up the water bottle and held it by Dean's lips, using his other hand to cup the back of Dean's neck and pull him up slightly, letting Dean sip from it until he laid Dean's head back down to the armrest of the couch securely.

"…Thanks Sammy…" Dean mumbled, looking up at Sam affectionately. His eyes started drooping shut and he had to fight a losing battle with his eyelids. He wanted to talk to Sam, he wasn't ready to go back to sleep, he _needed_ to see Sam. To talk to him and thank him because it felt like neither brother could ever even begin to tell his brother how much the other meant to them. The brother had only each other; they had their brother as their best friend, savior, and brother...and no one could ever take that away from them

...and nothing could ever have them want to change their situation.

"Of course Dean." Sam smiled fondly. "Anytime." A little thing like being turned into vampire wasn't going to stop Sam Winchester from taking care of his brother.

"Could you-" Dean licked his dry lips, feeling himself start to slowly slip back into unconsciousness. "If it's okay with you-could you please stay here? Just until I wake up?" Sam swallowed, needing to fight the powerful urge to pull Dean into a bone crushing hug when he was still in a weak state.

"No problem, whatever you need from me, I'll do it." Sam promised, cupping his hands over Dean's.

"Love you Sammy…"

"Love you too big brother."

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Dean awoke alone on the couch, feeling weak and tired but alive and definitely not a bloodsucker. While that was a good thing he was more focused on finding where his brother was at this moment. A part of him hoped the whole thing was a dream, that he didn't really put Sam through all that but one look at the Sam-like finger bruises on his forearms from where Sam was holding him proved that it was all real.

He was going to own Sam a huge apology when this was over although a part of him knew that it was not needed; if Sam was hurt, he would be happy as long as Sam was up and moving. Nothing else mattered in his world except for his brother. It was the same for both of them. Years ago they may have tried to find other more "normal" ways to be happy but one way or another, they always found their way back. The Winchesters were connected unlike any man, woman, creature, or angel had seen before. It was a bond that not even angels and demons put together could pull them apart.

Dean stayed on the couch for a moment longer; allowing his body to get some more rest before he got up to look for his little brother. Being separated from the other wasn't something either wanted to allow.

Year before Dean would have acted like this had done no pain unto his body and he would just simply kept fighting the good fight. Now, however, he would let Sam know when something was getting too much for him. Now, the made sure neither one of them pushed themselves to fight past any limit that just left them feeling empty and weak. Now, they paid more attention to the others limits and would ensure that they were safely taking care of themselves. Moving up at the slowest level, Dean was about to call out to his brother when he saw out of the corner of his eyes a familiar figure leaning against the hallway wall.

Sam's eyes grew soft as he gave a reassured beam, just for Dean, always for Dean. And Dean felt himself relax at the sight of his brother's dimples.

Dean silently sat up from the couch and Sam crossed the short distance between himself and his brother, Sam did the same, as if they were both bound by the same magnetic pull. Without a single pause, Dean reached over and wrapped his arms around Sam's shoulders, pulling the taller man against him in his signature tight, strong, possessive embrace that always was able to make the person receiving the hug to feel like nothing bad could ever happen when they were receiving such a loving hold. He moved his head to the crook of Sam's neck, feeling Sam's head lean against his own.

So much he wanted to tell Sam, but what exactly? _Thank you for saving me. I'm glad that you didn't give up on me even though I was a monster. I love you. _Yet all he could say was-

"Hi." Dean let his eyes close once again as he felt Sam reflexively hold him back in the exactly same desperateness that Dean was currently holding him in.

"Hi." Sam said back, his voice choking with emotion. Sam rested his head against Dean's, both needing the closeness. Dean could feel Sam's heart beat against his own in the same rhythm, in sync, just like always. He took in a deep breath, knowing that this, right here, was home.

_Even after all this time_

_The sun never says to the earth,_

_"You owe Me."_

_Look what happens with a__ love like that,_

_It lights the whole sky.-_

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

_I really hope this was good! I always wanted something like this to have happened but I've found less than a handful of stories that had one brother help the other when they were bitten, so, here was my try! Next chapter is a prompt where Dean is acting off and Sam wants to know why._

_Have a wonderful day!_


	41. Happy Birthday Dean

_Sorry but the prompt that I posted before about Dean acting off and Sam doesn't understand why is not this story! I messed up, that's later! This is a prompt trhat I found and though I would post in honor of our dear Dean Winchester's birthday. I hope you enjoy it! *hug!* _

_Prompt: _Person A being held hostage in a fortress and Person B violently leaving a mess of carnage in their wake in order to get to them. Covered in blood and questionable pieces of enemy remains, Person B finally makes it to Person A in the center of the wreckage and gives them a gentle peck on the forehead before apologizing for the wait.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"And then you add some red pepper flakes and there you have it! John Winchester's famous Cure-All Kitchen Sink Stew." Dean proudly stated to his little brother as he shook the canister of pepper flakes into the bubbling soup. "Can you grab the thermoses over in the cupboard?" Dean asked as he stared intently at the stew, making sure it bubbled properly to the proper heat level.

Sam grabbed the thermoses with ease before going back to staring at his thoughtful brother, who took the time to show him this complicated recipe that their dad had invented whenever they boys were ill or going to be in the cold for a few hours. Dean had learned the recipe from only a few weeks of watching their dad make it and had perfected in their time living in their new home, the bunker. As Dean used the ladle to pour the stew into the thermoses, Sam stayed close to help him pack for this hunt for night. The date was January 24th, Dean's birthday, yet he insited that a hunt was the only thing he had any interest in doing that day. So naturally Sam had already bought his big brother a birthday gift that he would give him when they got back.

"What?" Dean questioned at Sam, who was smiling adoringly at Dean. the smile always made Dean feel loved but he wasn't going to say that. "You are so cute, you know that?" Sam proclaimed suddenly, leaning over the counter to peck his lips against Dean's cheek. Dean's indignant look was worth any insults he was going to get later. "I'm not cute," Dean spluttered. "I'm manly as hell." Sam hummed as a way of agreeing for his brother and decided silently with himself that it was best for his safety if he didn't mention the apron with pink plaid colors that Dean was wearing as he cooked…Not if he valued his life.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

"Still nothing from your side Dean?" Sam asked wearily, trying to hide his shivers from his brother as he pulled the phone away from his face.

"Why are you shivering? Are you too cold? Did you drink the stew?" Dean's sharp hearing wasn't going to be denied and his protectiveness went into overdrive, hearing his little brother's shivers had him debate going off from his position, grabbing Sam, and leaving this hunt for some other hunters in the area.

"Nah, I'm good." Sam sniffled. They'd been out in the wood in damp, foggy weather and both boys were more than ready to head back home. "See anything yet?" Sam asked, changing the subject so Dean wouldn't worry about him.

Dean could tell what Sam was doing but begrudgingly went along with it. "Nothing yet, the house looks empty but there's still a possibility that this is where they're hiding out."

Sam stifled a groan and nodded before realizing that Dean couldn't see him. "Ok, let's give it one more hour then call it a night, 'k?"

Dean bit back his reply of wanting to stay until they found what they were hunting but knew that if he pushed it, they would leave right then. "Yeah sounds good. Call you in an hour."

"Okay, love you."

"Love you too." Dean disconnected and Sam clicked his phone shut.

Sam didn't even have time to react when he heard the footsteps behind him and his vision went dark.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN  
Dean watched the house from afar, the urge to break into the rougarou's fortress increased with each passing second as he stayed still, unable to move until he knew they had arrived back to their home. How _dare _they take Sammy? How _dare _they think that they could take his brother from him and think that they could live?

Dean's knuckles were white from holding on to his amulet too tightly, he only realized that he was gripping it when he felt the edges pierce his flesh.

They had separated for this hunt, something they hardly ever do anymore and for reasons like this. Sam didn't call for their hourly check in and he was near this area last time they had checked with each other's position. If they touched even one hair on Sam's head, he was going to live long enough to see that they were all slaughtered.

It was an abandon house, once a beautiful home that was now transformed into the creature's pantry for food storage. And Dean was going to make damn sure they weren't going to live to find a new place to live after they had their fill for the week. The brother had only just found them, they had been careful to go from town to town in search for food but they had gotten lazy, stayed in once place longer than they should have, which was fortunate for the two Winchesters brothers.

There weren't too many of them, just a wife and her husband. From what Sam had found out through research and newspaper clippings, they had found each other years ago and apparently decided to live out the rest of their monstrous lives as their own interpretation of a "flesh-eating Bonnie and Clyde" as Dean oh-so wittingly pointed out to an unamused Sam, although he couldn't hide his fond smile dedicated solitary for his big brother.

Dean never liked solo hunts but they had his Sammy, putting them on Dean Winchester's automatic kill list. Sam would have told him to wait, to think out a plan, to ask questions first _then_ shoot everyone. But that wasn't something Dean could ever successfully do with Sammy's life on the line. Lying in wait outside the worn wooden door, Dean waited for voices to be heard. When he overheard the sounds of the couples talking excitedly, Dean went into action. His only thought of how to make them pay.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam growled at the gag that the woman had placed over his mouth. Mentally cursing at himself for getting caught, he knew that Dean would know something had happened since he had failed to check in with Dean, but the thought of Dean fighting these two freaks alone make his stomach twist painful and he continued to work harder on the ropes around his now bruised wrists.

After too many times of each brother being captured, they made sure to never leave their home without a several different devices for situations just like this. Twisting his wrist upside his coat's sleeve, Sam kept in his sigh of relief at the feel of the familiar knife that he had kept hidden. He was placed in what looked like the basement of the house. He could easily break free of the binds on his wrists and feet. Escaping, however, looked more difficult. He knew exactly what to do but that didn't make rubbing the skin off his wrist trying to escape any easier.

Sam was able to cut through the first strand of the rope in time to hear what sounded like a door being broken open in the room outside of the door.

Sam yelled a muffled yell for his brother, knowing that it was him, that Dean had found him.

Only the sounds of objects being thrown and the noise of breaking limbs was greeted back to him. Sam gripped the handle of the knife harder, cutting the thick ropes as quick as he could with both wrists being tied together.

The noises got closer yet he couldn't tell who was winning. His brother's name running like a chant through his head, Sam felt the last of the strand of rope break, freeing his hands. Quickly, Sam removed the gag from his mouth before using the knife to try and cut through the binds that held his ankles.

"Dean!" Sam yelled again, but his voice couldn't be heard through the sounds that were still coming from the door in front of him. Roars of rage and the slicing of flesh were the only noises that were heard throughout the once beautiful house. Sam cursed under his breath, vowing to massacre the ones who dared to hurt his big brother.

Sam banged against the locked door, once, twice, and a third time when he noticed that there was only silence now. Panic overtook his body and with a final yell of frustration and rage, Sam pounded against the door with one absolute use of his strength and felt it give away as it slamming down to the floor with a thud, leaving no object to hide the sight of what was there.

It was Dean. _His_ Dean, was standing in front of him. Pale and hurt and covered in blood, but _here_ and _alive_ and _with him_.

"Sammy…" Dean breathed out with a ghost of smile on his handsome features, his weariness forgotten the moment he laid on his brother as if Sam was the most amazing sight he was ever blessed to see.

Sam was in front of Dean in less than two strides, already reaching out and gripping Dean by his forearms with his fingers, his distress for his brother evident as he saw Dean's relieved expression though he was almost completely covered from head to toe in blood.

"Is-is that your blood?" Sam whispered, fear and terror taking over his senses as he gazed at his gore covered brother, tuning out the carnage of the room and needing to insure that his big brother was okay, that he wasn't in pain because of Sam.

Dean didn't answer as cupped the back of his Sammy's neck, pulling him closer before pecking a kiss on his forehead. "Sorry for the wait Sammy." Dean whispered, his tone hoarse. He moved his hands from Sam's nape of the neck to his cheek before resting his forehead against Sam's. Dean stayed quiet as they stood there, he pressed his lips together, blocking the emotions that threatened to spill free from his wall, allowing himself to realize the extent of his fear and worry for his Sammy.

Sam's breathing calmed down at his brother's touch, the grip on the back of his neck that was soft, steady, pulling him away from reality and into a world where all he knows is just Dean and himself, where it is safe, loving, and just _theirs_. Dean hadn't allowed the thought that Sam could have been dead. He had made this trek to find his little brother, and now that Sam was here, was _solid_ and _here_ in his arms, the relief left him feeling weak and shook his whole being in ways he wasn't emotionally prepared to handle. His brain went into overdrive over all the "what ifs" and "could have happened" if he was too late. His embrace was shaky and he felt his eyes water at the thoughts that plagued him but he refused to let go.

Sam was locked into the strong hold of his big brother but he could tell that even if Dean wasn't physically hurt, he was still hurting. He knew what he would be feeling if the roles had been reversed. Tears threatened to spill down his cheeks, his chin quivering against Dean's muscled shoulder. Sam knew that Dean would be okay, but there was that small part of him that taunted him into to considering what would happen if Dean had died saving him.

Both brothers held on for dear life on each other. As the world-wind of emotions simmered down, they breathed easier. Gently pushing against Sam's chest, Dean took a step back to look Sam over again in case he missed any hidden injuries as Sam did the same.

"You are never leaving my sight again. Ever." Dean said, his voice tight although a small smile was etched on his face.

"Agreed." Sam smiled lightly, moving his arm from Dean's chest to grip his forearm again, the urge to hold his brother close not yet leaving his system. He looked like his whole body relaxed at the sight of his brother's smile. "Come on buddy, let's go home, I still have to give you your gift for today."

Dean would never admit the slight excitement that swelled his heart at the thought of having a normal birthday present after the day they had. Sam knew exactly how to make him feel loved. Dean nodded and swung his arm around Sam's shoulders, tenderly pulling him along. Sam did the same and they both felt a great weight leave their chest, knowing that they were together, and not even humans, demons, or angels could separate them.

They were together…and that was never going to change.

_Next chapter is a prompt left by one of my wonderful readers: _I wanted Sam to find Dean right after the Cage and actually have some brotherly love.


	42. AU Swan Song

Prompt: i'm not sure how you feel about AU, but I wanted Sam to find Dean right after the Cage and actually have some brotherly love.

_Oooo, I really like this request! Anything to make "Swan Song" feel less like my heart is being ripped out of my chest with a crowbar. Just a warning, I'm going SUPER AU because I'm going to have Sam be actual Sammy, not soulless!Sam like we all know and enjoy. :) _

_Also, just a small little thing: IT'S BEEN EXACTLY A YEAR SINCE I STARTED THIS STORY! I can't believe it! Ack, I can't believe it! Looking back at my old writing makes me cringe and I'm sure that I'll feel the same looking at my writing now by next year. Thank you all who have stuck with me, supported me, and have given me such fantastic advice! I only hope I can get better as I continue! Love you all!_

It was strange...as dangerous as their lives were, as deadly as the monsters they faced on a daily basis, Dean had never thought about life after Sammy.

In all honesty, Dean Winchester fully expected to go first in a blaze of glory and have Sam live out his life, or maybe if that couldn't happen that they would go together. A foolish thought maybe but thinking about moving on with a pointless life that involved never seeing his baby brother again...it made him feel like someone was gripping his heart with a vice and refusing to let go until he broke.

Castiel said they won, he said that everything was going to be okay and that the world was going to keep on turning...Yet it didn't feel like a victory, not even close judging by the missing part of his soul being stuck in hell. They had won…at least that's what Cas said…it sure as hell didn't feel like a win; not after what they had lost. Sam was gone…maybe forever and Dean didn't think he could survive with that as a fact.

Having nowhere else to go, Dean stayed with Bobby in the near empty house, hours after he had lost the most treasured person in his life. He hadn't moved from his spot in the kitchen, staring at his full coffee mug while he sat. He could feel his adopted father's affectionate gaze on him from time to time. Even though he knew that Bobby also lost someone important to him, it didn't make Dean feel any more inclined to talk about what had happened.

Bobby had made sure to say nothing to him during these last few hours, thank God; because the last thing he wanted to do right now was talk….there was only one person that he wanted to speak to and now he would never have that chance again…The feeling of never having his brother with him in this lifetime had Dean having to summon all his strength not to just lay down and never move again.

But he couldn't do that...Dean had promised Sammy that he would go to Lisa and Ben, go be with them and be a family together, and he knew he was going to go to keep his promise; but there was really no point. He would try to be normal, try to be a family with them…but he knew that this isn't what he needed-or what he wanted. He _needed_ his brother…

Dean didn't fight the single tear that trailed down his cheek, couldn't even bring himself to care about its presence. The oldest Winchester was prepared to sell his soul, kill himself, let himself be toured for years and centuries and millenniums just to have Sam back for one more day. To say "I love you", to protect him, to promise him that he would always be there, to pull him close and never let him go again. Just one more time. Please, if anything, just give him one more time. Without Sam, everything in this whole damned world felt bleak and pointless and just plain hopeless.

Another mug of fresh, steamy coffee was gently pushed into his line of vision while the old one was dumped in the sink, and Dean couldn't even smile as a way of saying thanks to Bobby…he couldn't even bring himself to reach over and drink it. Bobby was staring unabashedly in concern for him and Dean understood why. Just looking at him anyone could tell that Dean Winchester was only half there. It was like someone had ripped open his chest and was harshly holding his broken heart, debating on whether to protect it from further pain or crush it until there was nothing left. He was empty, lost, and he honestly didn't mind if the latter became true.

"You're going to look for a way to bring him back."

It wasn't a question directed from the older man. He just needed to hear it be confirmed. Bobby never doubted even for a second that there was a way that Dean would just _allow_ Sam to be stuck in the cage, not if he could try and find some way to bring him back to earth. He would never stop looking for a way to bring his little brother back and Bobby was astounded once again with how strong the love was between two boys. He could never doubt the lengths that either one would go to save the other.

There was no reply as Dean raised his green eyes upwards to face Bobby. Slowly, Dean answered in a slightly exasperated way; like how could Bobby ever think otherwise. "Did you really expect me to leave him?" Dean quirked his lips up to give a sad smile. He _needed_ to find his brother, he just had to. He couldn't just leave him alone in the cage. If he could bring him back then he would go with him as soon as he found out how, no matter how many people got in his way. Dean would look for _any_ way to bring him back.

"You need to prepare yourself for the possibility that he might be gone for good." The bluntness brought a flicker of anger into his eyes but Dean understood that Bobby only said it because he didn't want him to be hurt at the knowledge that they would never see Sammy again. A small swallow was Deans first reply. That could be true, but Sam not being found was not an option for Dean. He would find his brother; he would search every day for any book, lore, tip, or legend. It didn't matter how long it would take, he just knew that he would find him one way or another.

Yes, he promised Sam he would try to go back to Lisa…and yes, he was going to do that at one point or another…but he knew-_he always knew_-that there was no real life for him in this world if Sam wasn't by his side. They could and have lived separate lives but they were always going to find one another. "Yeah…" Dean answered Bobby softly… "But I'm not going to stop until I find a way to either bring him back or leave me with him."

He knew the reply would end in that yet it still brought fear into Bobby's heart. Before Bobby could smack Dean upside the head for the sheer thought of leaving him alone in this world without his two sons; the door slammed open with a loud bang that sent both men to their weapons instantaneously, ready to fire at anyone who was interrupting their time of grieving. Footsteps were heard and Bobby took a step closer to the door, standing in front of Dean in a protective stance. A figure walked wearily into the doorway and both men felt their bodies freeze.

His eyes recognized the figure but it took his brain a moment to catch up. It wasn't until Dean registered who it was that he felt life and purpose flow back into his soul like a simple flick of a switch.

_Sammy_.

His Sammy was here. He was panting like he had run a marathon yet there were no other signs of injury or pain. His hazel eyes never left Dean's green ones; his gaze was full of affection just for his De.

It was like the sight of all that he wanted to see finally see there had sent back all energy out of Dean yet still he found himself unable to do anything. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe…he could only stand there behind Bobby shocked figure; both men with their guns drawn out and mouth fallen open in complete astonishment.

"Dean." Sam breathed, like it was the most sacred word that had ever uttered past his lips.

It couldn't be him...it couldn't be...Could it? If their dad were still here, he'd make sure to go through every direction in the journal to ensure that this was not a demon or shifter but Dean didn't need to. The hunter side of him was silenced and only the big brother side remain and with that, he knew this was his brother.

Dean felt his riffle slip past his limp fingers and clatter loudly on the floor. He walked up past an equally shocked Bobby, almost like in a dream and moved so slowly to the other half of his soul.

"Sammy?" Dean's voice was timid, unsure, as if he was just waiting for Sam to vanish or be revealed that it was all a cruel, twisted dream of something that would never happen. Reaching out almost like a reflex, Dean grabbed Sam first, wrapping his trembling arm around the back of Sam's shoulders while the other hand was gripping the back of his neck possessively. Sammy's heartbeat was beating like a steady rhythm against his fingertips and he could feel himself becoming compete. Sam went for the exact same position; his fingers tangling themselves in Dean's hair as he held on with all his might.

Bobby was staring at them in awe, watching the two souls reuniting like it was the most spectacular thing he had ever laid eyes on. The two brothers foreheads touched and their positions were mirrored exactly, looking so much alike, more than he had ever seen them before. Bobby loved Sam so much…so much like a father would to his son...yet he knew that Dean without Sam was a fate worse than death for the oldest Winchester brother, and the same went to the youngest with Dean.

For a moment Bobby considers breaking in between the two, to just grab on to Sam and yell and sob that he should never do this to them again because he needs both of his boys in his life. He wants to pulls Sam into his arms and hold him from here to the end of time…but he knows that they need each other right now. Quietly, Bobby leaves, not bothering to wipe away his tears of gratitude of his boys being reunited. He would get his time with Sam later...but they needed each other more.

They held on to each other for a few more moments in pure, tender silence before Dean quirked one side of his mouth up, trying his best not to have his voice sound like it was breaking while his heart was doing the exact opposite. "What took you so long?" Dean choked out, wishing he could hold Sam against him for the rest of their lives if it meant that they would never be separated.

Sam gave a muffled half laugh, half sob before humorously answering. "Got stuck in traffic."

Dean tries to laugh yet it comes out as more of a sob. Sam feels Dean's knees start to shake and he returns the embrace again while carefully guiding them both down to the floor, neither brother loosening their hold on the other as teh kneeled in front of the other.

"You're back…" Dean whispers like a prayer, like it was a gift that only God could have supplied and maybe it was…

"Couldn't leave my brother alone, now could I?" Sam doesn't bother to hide the soft break in his voice as he responded with a weak smile on his lips, his hazel eyes staring at his brother like he was his savior and to him, Dean was.

It wasn't over, not with the lives they lead. There would be more danger of course, but they were _here_, _together_, and _soulmates_. Nothing else mattered. They had each other, and that is all they will ever need.

_Next up: The brothers take care of each other after a hunt_


	43. Mature Love

Dean winced as Sam applied pressure to the fresh wound; green eyes shut tightly at the stinging contact from the wet washcloth that Sam was pressing against with his other hand. His little brother gently skimmed across Dean's blood-stain forehead as he berated his stubborn sibling.

"It's like you enjoy hitting your big skull." Sam mumbled fondly.

Scoffing, Dean tried to respond with a smile but it came out as more of a flinch of pain, causing Dean to weakly start to move away from the painful sting of the pressure that Sam was inflicting. "Careful Sammy, you trying to kill me?" Dean joked kindly.

The truth was that Sam had barely touched the wound, yet Dean had flinched noticeably at the physical interaction. Dean swallowed back bile at the pain that ran throughout his entire sore body. Sam's eyes flashed with sympathetic pain as he started cleaning the blood from his brother's face, knowing from experience that this was a painful procedure.

Dean was wishing he could cover his head with his hands since felt like it was close to imploding with each exhale, and Sam could see it, even though Dean tried hard to hide it from his baby brother. Part of this reason for that was that Dean always hated showing any sign of weakness to his brother, and another reason was that Dean could always tell when Sam was blaming himself for something, and this was one of those times. In Sam's eyes, he failed to help spare his brother from this injury, and Dean couldn't allow Sam to think like that; so, in his eyes, showing himself to be fine would help the both of them.

Even though Sam could see right through Dean's act.

"No, but that ghost almost did." Sam relied bluntly, hiding the fact that he was ready to go back and burn the ghost's bones a _second_ time for what it did to his brother.

"Whatever." Dean mumbled, continuing his act to ignore the soreness of his body as Sam started to put bandages around Dean's sliced and cut up waist now, the head injury taken care of for this moment. Altogether, Sam calculated that Dean had a deep cut on his forehead, three deep slices on his torso that had required over ten stitches, and a bruised wrist that would need a couple days of rest (which to Dean, "days" meant "hours" and Sam was going to go all mother-hen on Dean's butt and watch him closely so he doesn't cut off the bandages too early like he did with his broken leg from a few years ago.)

They were in Dean's room in their bunker; safe but not pain-free. Sam gently grabbed Dean's chin with his fingers, tilting it slowly to see it the dark bruises that scattered across on his neck and jaw.

Sam winced in-sync with Dean's painful grimace towards the movement but neither brother said anything. Dean never was able to be okay with looking weak in front of his baby brother, even as an adult. Sam slowly released Dean's chin, but couldn't make himself move away any further from his brother.

"_Stupid friggin' ghost." _Dean thought in disgust, thinking back to the ghost throwing Dean around the room like a frigging ragdoll. His body was covered in cuts and contusions to the point that Sam couldn't control his grimace in compassion to his big brother's wounds. How could he have messed up so badly? What if that ghost had gotten its fugly claws on Sam? Dean's jaw clenched, furious at the thought though he felt somewhat better knowing that he didn't mess up bad enough to cause Sammy any harm.

After Sam had covered half of his brother's upper body in bandages, he handed Dean a fresh, clean shirt.

"It'll hurt for a few days. I think you might want to take a break from the job until you feel better." Sam said gently. Dean's tone from before was full of frustration, no doubt angry at himself for "messing up". Sam wanted so much to be able to wipe away the overwhelming miserable expression in his brother's green eyes while screaming at him that Dean should never feel that getting hurt was something he deserved.

Dean scoffed, as if he could ever take a vacation from this job. One of the biggest and most important reasons were that he couldn't allow Sammy to get hurt.

Sam knew what Dean was thinking, but he still was hoping he could get Dean to take a break. Did his brother _have _to act like he was always fine? Like he was invincible? Sam's heart couldn't take much more of Dean getting hurt. When would Dean understand Sam was never going to be okay when _Dean_ was injured? His brother was so important, and Sam wanted so much for him to see that as much as Sam does.

"You know, it's hard to believe but we are not the only hunters in the world." Sam smirked slightly at the dirty look his brother sent his way.

Dean said nothing but Sam grinned when he saw him roll his eyes while a small smile formed on his face, proving that Dean wasn't upset with his comment.

"Come on Sammy, you know my good looks make me invincible." Dean drawled sarcastically. "How else could I sweet talk my way out of being dragged back to the after-life so many times?" Dean smile faded somewhat with a small groan escaping his lips from his movements. Sam bit his lip at the comment. His brother didn't often talk like that unless he was in enough pain to forget to censor his words.

Dean seemed not to notice Sam's concerned face though he must have sensed it because he turned to face his brother with a worried expression. "You alright? You didn't get hurt did you?" Dean's mind instantly going to protective mode.

"No, no I'm fine." Sam quickly assured before Dean went into big brother mode over nothing. His answered brought on a pleased expression on Dean's face and he went back to trying to rest himself tenderly on his own bed.

"You should be worried about yourself, you know." Sam said, smiling at his brother's protectiveness.

"I'm not a true big brother unless I'm worry over you." Dean confessed with a sarcastic drawl, smiling as well. Seeing that Dean was not able to lay down without looking uncomfortable, Sam wordlessly cupped his hand to the back of Dean's neck, with the other hand he pressed his hand to Dean's chest to gently ease him on the bed. Dean gave an affectionate smile as his way of saying thank you. Sam didn't move away as he held his hands still on his brother.

Dean cradled his side with his uninjured arm, cringing as he rolled over to his side as Sam moved into a new position to ease him more carefully to his side. Dean turned his head towards Sam. "You sure you're okay?" Dean asked again, his face returning back to being concerned.

Sam nodded, then mumbled a quick good night before reluctantly leaving Dean's room. Usually they stayed in the same bed (more often than not), but with Dean in pain, Sam thought it was better to go to his own room, least he ended up hurting Dean worst by allowing more pressure on Dean's injured side.

When Sam closed the door with a soft thud, Dean was thankful that he didn't need to hide his pain and curled up into a ball on his bed. Cursing under his breath, Dean stiffly positioned his body sat up on his bed, his back leaning against the headboard and curling his arms around his waist.

Dean silently berated himself for not asking Sam to stay for the night, yet he knew that he couldn't allow Sam to feel like he had to stay, he wanted Sam to _want_ to stay. Ugh, if Bobby was here to hear this he would have told him to stop growing lady parts. The thought made him smile softly.

This was going to be a long night…

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam walked slowly to his own room, knowing that if he stayed in his brother's room any longer he would most likely end up pulling Dean into a tight embrace, something that usually would make Dean feel cared for but right at this moment, would most likely make him feel like he was being pitied.

Sam sighed sadly at the thought and plopped limply onto his own, empty bed. His legs dangling off the side uncomfortably as he brought a tired hand to his face and gave a half groan, half yawn. His brother was going to give him even more gray hairs before his time.

He stayed in the same position for a while, unable to move. He half expected to feel Dean's strong fingers come to gently pull on his wrist, something he usually did when he noticed that Sam was falling asleep in an uncomfortable position and needed to be put into his bed properly. Just like he always did as kids and still does to this very day. Yet Sam knew that they weren't in the same room this time and it made him feel sick.

Sam stayed in his bed for a while longer, unmoving and unable to sleep. He loves his brother, he loves him more than life itself and he knows that Dean feels the same way about him, but there are times when Sam wants to sternly yet lovingly grab Dean by the shoulders and shake him until he realizes that just because he was hurt would _never ever_ mean that he was weak or unworthy of being comforted, or being taken care of.

It was always hard for Dean to understand that. It's like Dean can't understand that he is _worth_ all the love Sam has for him, will always have for him. He can take care of Sam until his dying day but Dean wasn't allowed to be treasured? Well, that wasn't going to stop Sam from making sure that he shows his adoration for his brother every day until it finally sticks in his head, and even then he'll continue for the rest of his life.

Glancing at his clock for the fifth time in that hour, Sam gave up and got out of his bed. Grabbing his blanket and pillow, he made his way to Dean's room with determined steps.

Dean must have been suffering the same problem because he was lying on his bed on his back, green eyes wide awake and arms still protectively settled with delicate care around his wounded waist.

"Sam?" Dean's eyes frowned for a moment in confusion before a small smile appearing on his lips proved to Sam that this wasn't an invasion of privacy. Dean tried to sit up to a sitting position before groaning at the movement and landing back on his back. "What are you doing here?" Dean questioned as Sam looked at him with concern.

"Can't sleep." Sam said simply with a one armed shrug, plopping his pillow on the floor by Dean's bed, and lying down and closing his eyes without another word. Even if Dean didn't want to be comforted, Sam would stay by his side to show him that he was never going to just leave him alone.

There was silence for roughly about thirty second before Dean broke it. "If you are going to be so dramatic about this, you might as well be comfortable." As he spoke, Dean threw off his covers off his legs and scooted over to the side of his bed by the edge, making more than enough room for Sam to be comfortable.

"You sure?" Sam asked hopefully, getting into a sitting position from his spot on the floor and hugging his pillow to his chest like a small child.

"Just get in before I wake up fully." Dean drawled, acting like he would actually change his mind when it came to being near his Sammy. Dean gave a stifled yawn though it was obvious he hadn't been asleep at all. Neither Winchester brothers could sleep peacefully without the other close by anyway.

Without a word, Sam got up and carefully got onto Dean's bed, trying his best not to jiggle Deans' wounds too much. Dean said nothing he pulled the covers back over the both of them. Sam didn't say anything about the smile on Dean's face, mainly because he was sure Dean could see Sam's too. "I'd rather have you here." Dean mumbled truthfully. "It's not as bad when you're here." Yes he was in pain, he hardly ever walked away from a hunt scrape-free, but it honestly felt so much worse without Sam being near him.

Sam smiled as he leaned up on the bed to place a kiss on Dean's temple, a smirk on his lips as he watch Dean's eyes flutter to a close, relaxing at the loving gesture. "Love you too."

With Sam resting on his right side of his body and Dean on the left, they faced each other and relaxed with each other being near. They were together. They would never be apart. With that soothing thought in their head, they both were able to sleep.

_-Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'- _unknown


	44. We're Better Together

_Good Lord, last episode and the episode before that just shoved coal onto the fire for my love on these codependent brothers. My goodness, this show is my favorite, I could sing the praises for those episodes until the cows came home, like honestly._

"They were identical. After thousands of hours in sparring, they knew each other better than brothers, more intimately than lovers ever could be; they were complementary halves of a single warrior." Unknown

Dean had been acting…off today.

Normally, Sam would know fairly quickly why Dean was acting like this. One reason was that it usually _was_ Dean who was acting off, mainly since the whole Darkness-is-a-girl and we-killed-Death, but they had gotten better. The Winchester brothers agreed that being together was the only way they were going to fix this mess and Dean himself had for once seem to not have the whole weight of the world on his tired shoulders. "We're better together than we are apart." Dean had told Sam and they were the words that caused Sam to feel like they were closer than ever before, at least verbally and physically.

Sam's heart clenched painfully at the knowledge that something was wrong with his big brother. It seemed like Dean was getting better, healthier…until this.

The day before was nothing out of the ordinary, at least not for the brothers. Dean had his usual limitless energy, ruffling Sam's hair excitedly after another successful hunt that ended with no bloodshed. "This Sammy it what makes our job the best." Dean grinned as he swung his arm around his baby brother's shoulder, pulling his moose of a brother closer to his level. His smile was infectious and Sam beamed at his brother's smile, as if it was the best thing he had ever seen in his life.

Sam continued to think back on their day. What ever had happened started this day. That morning had been the same as the other mornings. He had seemed in his normal Dean Winchester mood; he had woke Sam up with a light kiss to his temple so that Sam would wake up slowly and softly. Later he even made them both white omelets (he didn't even make fake gagging noises as he ate it this time) and he even went grocery shopping without a fuss to pick up some food for them.

It wasn't until early afternoon that his mood changed drastically.

Not in a cursed change, or in a possessed change; nothing that seemed supernatural or out of the ordinary that would make one suspect that it had something to do with their job…no…it was like he was just suddenly (there was no other word for it) sad.

It was like Dean suddenly had no energy, no Dean Winchester never-stop-moving-always-bouncing-up-and-down-like-a-kid energy; he was not Sammy's Dean. It came out of no where in Sam's eyes.

Dean stayed in the same spot in the library, a book in his hands yet his eyes never moved from the same page he had his eyes on for the last two hours. When he thought Sam couldn't see him, he would gaze at Sam with a look Sam couldn't understand. It was a broken and raw; so open and vulnerable. Like…he was waiting for Sam to leave. It wasn't until it was close to five in the evening that Dean put the book, mumbled off some lame explanation that he was tired and there was some leftovers for Sam in the fridge to eat from the other night, then he left for their room.

Leaving Sam alone in the living room feeling like he was missing a piece of himself.

Just _so_ painful to watch, and Sam felt like he was punched ruthlessly in the gut because his Dean was upset and he didn't know why or how to help.

Sam bit his bottom lip in concern, his chest clenching in a tight manner; he was unsure what could have brought this despondency on. He wanted to ask ever since Dean's behavior had changed, wanting to make sure Dean wasn't ill, but whatever was wrong, it was one of those things that Sam knew his big brother would just say he was fine. If he wanted to find out what was wrong, he either had to push Dean until he told him (something he didn't want to do, knowing Dean would of course eventually confess to him but this situation seemed like it needed to be handled more delicately) or Sam had to find out on his own.

He wasn't mad that Dean hadn't told him what was hurting him; no of course not. Dean was not the type to tell anyone what was the matter…Well, he would tell Sam one day or another, but since he hadn't yet, it showed Sam that whatever the problem was, it something to do with Dean not wanting to hurt Sam's feelings.

Typical big brother syndrome.

Sam adored him with his entire being but he would never want Dean to feel upset over something that might hurt Sam. Dean was too important for Sam to allow that.

Jumping slightly, Sam pulled out his phone that was vibrating from his pocket and checked a text Garth had sent him. Garth was just saying that he had found a case near them if they were interested; something that Garth would have done himself unless it was either something that he was too far away to deal with himself or if it would not be the best for his situation, because of the whole being-a-werewolf-thing. Sam was about to text him back that they would look into it later when he noticed the image on the top of the screen.

And his heart sinks.

The date.

How could he miss this?

Sam felt like slapping himself for being so obvious. Of course this was the problem. It was the date; the day that he left his family for Stanford. It was the date that he made a choice that he would always regret even if he lived a hundred years. It was the date that he broke his heart along with Dean's.

His brother must not have noticed the date until later when they returned, then the memories flooded over him until he couldn't function.

Dean's fear of abandonment ran deep, far deeper than Sam knew, yet he understood why Dean felt like this, and who lead to him feeling this way. It wasn't that Dean thought Sam would leave at the drop of a hat, but it was a deep, irrational fear that he had developed from too many past experiences. His anxiety of being alone were strong and would cause him to just put his walls up so high that sometimes Sam didn't know how to climb over them.

But for Dean he would do it anytime, no matter how long it would take.

Dean always had assumed his loved ones would leave him one day or another, like some sort of sick punishment for a sin he never had committed. Always assuming that he would be abandoned by the one person who he loved more than anyone or anything. Always assuming there would be a reason for the ones he cares for to leave and never return.

Always fearing the worst anytime he was close to someone, even Sammy. To think that he wasn't worthy of being cared for. To fear that one day, Sam would eventually change his mind and leave Dean in the dust and find his own life once again.

No.

Never.

Sam wouldn't-couldn't- leave Dean. Sam had to lean over the table to catch his breath, his pain for his brother overwhelming him for a moment. They were part of each other, so intertwined that Sam couldn't see them ever being apart and he wouldn't trade their relationship for anything.

Sam ran back into their room without a second thought.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Opening the door as softly as he could, Sam could see Dean lying on their bed, eyes shut sight and his position making him look seemingly asleep yet Sam could tell by his breathing that he was still wide awake. Dean was miserable every year on this date, however, it seemed that since this was the first year that they had started acting like this, like soulmates, Dean was even more afraid of Sam leaving, of breaking him much worse than before.

Well then, Sam is just going to have to show his big brother day after day that he really is going to stay with him, that he would never consider leaving him alone ever again. He loves his Dean too much to even think about going off and living a seemingly "normal life". They have done too much, come too far, to leave each other. He can't fathom living apart from his brother. Doesn't want to try.

Sam runs his hand up and down Dean's curved spine, knowing that his brother is still awake. Sam begins to gently massage Dean's back, using only light pressure as he rubs Dean's back in small, soothing circles. Dean inhales deeply at the contact, his breathing sounding easier as he Sam continues his massage on Dean.

Sam looks at his big brother, really looks at him. They know each other so well. They knew every scar, every strength, every headache. He knew Dean well enough that a big hour long speech wasn't what Dean needed to hear. He just needed to know that he was loved, that he was always going to be loved. Bending his mouth to Dean's ear, Sam whispered with the utmost love in his tone. "I'm not going anywhere Dean, not without you." He finished by leaning down, kissing Dean's cheek lovingly.

Dean's whole body relaxed at his baby brother's words, not a single doubt in his mind they were true. Sam was all that he love, needed, and believed in; he didn't know how he was blessed with such a brother like his Sammy.

Without a word, Dean turned over on his back and rested his hand on the back of Sam's head. Sam's moves his own head to lie on his breastbone to which Sam burrowed into Dean's chest with fondness. "I know Sammy…" He whispered, holding his brother close to him. "I love you too." Sometimes, Sam can't believe they have gotten to the point where they say "love" on a daily basis. Yes, mainly because they were raised in a "home" where talking about love or emotions would soon be nipped in the bud, but also, in a way, Sam is shocked because saying the words "I love you" seemed inadequate when describing their own relationship.

Dean puts his arm around Sam's waist and pulls him closer so that Sam's back faces Dean's chest. Sam's body is warm, comforting. Dean knows Sam's body almost as well as he knows his own, better than he knows anyone else's, and he's aware that Sam knows his just as well.

After a few peaceful moments of the stillness of lying down, Sam rolls himself over to face Dean, soon hooking his arm around Dean and fondly burrowing his face against Dean's collarbone and starts to hold onto Dean's back, his fingers digging into Dean's shirt like letting go means death

Dean keeps his hand wrapped gently on the back of Sam's head and soothingly presses his fingertips against Sam's scalp, back and forth in the same, sweet movements that he always had done since Sam was a kid. He starts to caresses Sam's cheek with his thumb, still holding Sam to his chest.

I'm not going to leave you again." Sam says in a low voice, a slight tremor in his tone. "I don't want to live without you De, I never want to go through that…not again."

"It's okay Sammy." Dean whispers, still holding onto his little brother. "I know you. I trust you. I just got a little overwhelmed."

"_Because of me."_ Sam thinks to himself though he remains silent since Dean would never allow Sam to put this blame on himself. Words can't describe his love for Dean but still to this day he feels his stomach tie up in a painful knot about leaving Dean so many years ago. It was his fault that Dean would get depressed over the fact that Sam had left him and their dad. Though there was no way he could change that, he was going to make damn sure that he never gave Dean a reason to believe Sam would ever leave his side.

Sam was clinging to his brother; listening as their breathing followed each other in perfect sync. When he's calm again, his body relaxes around Dean. Sam's was barely unconscious when he feels Dean cup the back of his head and tilts it so gently that Sam barely feels the comforting touch. Dean kissed the top of his forehead as Sam held tightly around the warmth of his brother, closing his eyes as the feeling of affection failed to leave his body only the feeling of comfort and safety replaced it.


	45. Dean's Christmas Present

Prompt: Sam's POV when he give the amulet to Dean

"_I look at you and know. Hell is just another place I guess I'll go to keep you warm." Claudia Boleyn_

Dean is special. He always has been. Our problem is that we never told him that.

I would like to blame the stubbornness on our father's side but I would bet money that mom was just as bullheaded, though I'm sure she never failed to make Dean feel loved. Somewhere along those lines, all of us expect Dean were just too blind to see anything past out what we felt was right; hunting, going to school, dad and I had our own things that we wanted-needed-to do.

Mom would have kept the peace better than dad and I have been doing. That was where I needed to pick up where she left off.

Waiting for Dean to return, all I could think of was that even though I was hurt, I couldn't deny that my brother did this to save me. Even before I figured out what Dad and Dean have been doing my entire life, this whole hunting what goes bump in the night, he was protecting me. Dean was special, even though neither of us ever told Dean that we were proud of him, that we appreciated the fact that he watched over me, protected me, or even the fact that without him Dad and I would be stuck in one of our stubborn arguments for weeks.

So giving him this small token was one of the only ways I could think of to show him that I needed him too. I had no idea if Dean would even want the gift. I wasn't exactly in the best of moods earlier with Dean's confession about what dad does for a living still fresh in my mind and only that same day I had told him that the gift was for dad from Bobby.

Not the best move on my part; the last thing I wanted was for my brother to feel like he was getting leftovers for a gift. All those thoughts were banging against my skull as I handed Dean the small wrapped present. I needed Dean to know that I love him and wanted this amulet to go to _him_ because he is Dean Winchester; my big brother and the only person I wanted to spend Christmas with. I just hoped that he wouldn't see the amulet as a half-ass way of trying to make him feel better about going out of his way to bring me gifts from "dad".

But Dean's face as he held the necklace delicately in his hands had all fears and doubt leave my mind instantly. Dean had that effect on me for as long as I could remember. He is the only one who could make me go from painfully nervous to feeling like I could take on the world as long as he was by my side.

I held my fingers together with apprehension as his eyes stayed on the bronze symbol, hoping that he would see how this was only a small way of showing how much I appreciated all that he had done for me in my years of being his little brother.

Yes, it was for dad…but really in a way, I was still giving it to my real dad.

Dean looked at the amulet in adoration, picking it up by its black cord tenderly before placing it over his own slim neck. I grinned happily when I saw Dean finger the bronze figure affectionately. "Thank you Sammy." Dean sounded dangerously close to having actual gratitude and affection noticeable in his tone. "I love it." I could tell he meant every word.

I had to hide my blush of pleasure at the tender look he gave to me and only to me. It was a look that I always took pride in, because of the fact that he saved it just for me. My big brother never had that look for anyone; not even dad…it was just for me… it was better than any gift he could give me.

I couldn't stop the hug I gave him when I quickly wrapped my arms around his shoulder blades and held on tightly. Dean laughed softly in my ear when he grabbed on, holding me just as forcefully as his strong arms were wrapped my small frame protectively.

We hadn't hugged much anymore…and I didn't like that. We used to when I was younger, back when Dad was a superhero and Dean could never get hurt as long as we were with him. But the older I got, the more I was sure that acting psychically affectionate with Dean was one of the reasons Dad never told me anything. It felt like we only showed physical affection was maybe when I started it. I should have a talk with him and see if he should change that…

Dean held on to me for a long time after that…and I wouldn't have it go any other way.

"You do realize how girly this is, right?" Dean mumbled playfully against my ear, causing me to laugh and hold on as tightly as he was. Ever the macho man.

"I'll care about that another time." I laughed, laying my head against his collarbone and he ran his fingers through my hair. Nothing was said, but we were too in tuned with each other to call it an awkward silence. Nothing needed to be said because it was already out in the open.

I don't know what my life would be like if I didn't have him, but thank God I'll never have to find out.

Yeah…I have an awesome big brother.

_Thanks for reading! I wish you all a wonderful day!_

_Next prompt: Dean meeting baby Sam for the first time._


	46. His Baby Brother

_Here is the next prompt! I hope you enjoy it!_

Prompt: Dean meeting baby Sam for the first time.

Dean banged his small hands excitedly on either side of the wooden arm of the hospital chair he was sitting on; waiting impatiently for his dad to show up with his new sibling. Both of his parents were in the hospital room and he was staying in the waiting room with Mr. Guenther, a friend of his dad's from the mechanic shop.

His mother's growing belly was a source of wonder for the young Winchester. His parents had told him repeatedly that his new sibling was growing in mom's tummy though four year old Dean still didn't understand how that was. But it wouldn't matter because soon he was going to see the new baby. His parents had told him how he was going to be the older brother; that he was going to be there for him just like older siblings should be.

Dean hoped the baby was going to be here soon; Dean was practically bouncing out of his chair due to his excitement; his legs kicking forward and Mr. Guenther could hear small frustrated grunts coming from the child due to the fact that the baby was not here yet.

Dean groaned as he slid bonelessly from the seat; the upper half of his body barely on the chair anymore. They were taking forever and he wanted to see the baby _now_. How long does having a baby take anyway, the young mind of Dean wondered obliviously. Like, only a few minutes right?

"They'll be done soon." Said his daddy's friend gently. The older man was looking at him with a look that said he was used to children squirming around in boredom.

"But I want to see the baby!" Dean pouted, his arms hooking around the arm of the chair to support himself as he pulled himself back up to rest against the seat.

"Ask and you shall receive." Said a familiar yet tired voice from the door in front of them.

"Dad!" Dean yelled giddily, his eyes wide as he started pushing himself up and running to his dad. John reached down and picked his son up with ease, setting him down on his hip. "Ready to meet your new baby brother?" John grinned, dark marks under his eyes.

"I have a brother?" Dean asked in awe, his mouth dropped open at the news.

John beamed as he nodded his thanks to his friend and took his son to meet their newest member of the Winchesters.

Dean's mouth dropped open and he quickly squirmed out of his father's arms to rush over to the barely covered bundle in his beaming mother's arms. Her face was flushed and her posture was weak; yet she was smiling with all her might. Still not big enough to see what laid beyond that covered bundle, Dean grabbed on to his mother's ankle and climbed up, settling himself by his mother's side against her hip, his eyes never leaving his mother's face. Never before had he seen her look so pale, or with such a lack of energy. Dean bit his lip in worry over her features and he reached over to her face, his small thumb brushed against her cheekbone and her smile grew bigger, settling his concern slightly. Even at just four years old, he was more observant than adults with forty-plus years of experience in this life.

"Dean, come meet your new baby brother." Mary said with pride, glancing at John for a moment with a grin before turning back at her Dean. Wrapping her free arm around her son, she placed her baby in her Dean's arms. As if he had done this a hundred times before, Dean held the precious child in his study arms with the most adoring look placed on his features.

Feeling John behind her, Mary wrapped her fingers around her husband's strong digits; unable to stop the slow fall of tears that fell as she gazed her two sons with a look of love that almost beat the look Dean was placing on Sam. The pain from the birth was still lingering yet she held off asking for ma doctor; she had the best medicine she could ever ask for right there in front of her.

Dean looked at the baby like he was the most magnificent thing he had ever laid eyes on. "This is my brother?" He asked in amazement, his eyes watching in wonder as the baby squirmed ever so slightly. Dean continued his strong hold on his new valuable object, watching with excitement as the child opened his eyes to see his big brother for the first time.

"Yeah…" John said in enthusiasm, his brown eyes switching back and forth between the three most important people in his life.

"What's his name?" Dean asked as he reached down to trail his thumb lightly over the chubby cheeks of his baby brother.

"We were thinking…Sam." Mary said thoughtfully, looking at her beaming husband in confirmation. "After your grandfather." Dean nodded slightly; though had never met her father, he never failed to notice the sad look that covered his mom's normally bright eyes whenever she mentioned him.

"Sam…" Dean said smiling thoughtfully as he considered this. "Sammy…I like it." Dean leaned over his new brother and placed the gentlest kiss on Sammy's forehead. His lips lingered against the baby's pink head and moved back with care. "I can't wait for you to get to know me." Dean whispered against Sam's small ear. Sammy gurgled happily in Dean's arms as his small hands reached up towards him again, and with that, there was not a single doubt that Dean's whole life had changed…and it was for the better. Resting his Sammy against his chest, Dean settled his body so that he was almost crouching over the baby, like a human shield.

Vowing silently, Dean Winchester promised to himself and Sam that he would never have that sad look on Sam's face like his mother had when she though back to her own father. He would protect Sam with every fiber in his being. This was not an obligation, but the best privilege that he could have ever received.

_This was such a cute prompt and I hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it!_

_Next up: _If you have time, maybe you can write a part where Dean has to face his phobia (it may be planes, rats, heights, tight and dark places...) anything that would make him panic and relay a lot on Sam to get him through. And Sammy being overprotective, awesome bro he is, helping his soulmate to deal and overcome his fear of smth.


	47. Plane Ride

_If you have time, maybe you can write a part where Dean has to face his phobia (it may be planes, rats, heights, tight and dark places...) anything that would make him panic and relay a lot on Sam to get him through. And Sammy being overprotective, awesome bro he is, helping his soulmate to deal and overcome his fear of smth._

_Thank you for this fantastic idea! I hope you enjoy!_

Sam watched as Dean nervously ran his fingers through his hair for what felt like the fifth time in the last ten minutes, leaving his hair in a disheveled state. The plane was thankfully not too full of loud and overbearing passengers, leaving the brothers free from prying eyes.

They had agreed to help an old friend of Jody's; she and her family had in the past month moved into a house that had all the signs of a simple haunting. The good news was that it left the brothers with the ability to be in and out of there in less than an hour.

The bad news, however, was that her friend and her family were far enough away that it left the brothers unable to use Baby to get there, causing them to have no choice but to leave Baby at home and take a plane. The first plane ride there was difficult for Dean, the second one to Scotland was bearable, but this third one was somehow worse.

"Jody is _so_ lucky we love her." Dean muttered irritably, his eyes avoiding the plane's window and focusing instead on his denim-clad knees, already on edge after only thirty minutes in the air.

"It's not going to be too long Dean." Sam tried in his usual supporting tone that he was such an expert at, setting down his book of lore on his lap. "We're going to be there and back in just a few days."

"I know." Dean snapped in a growl. He immediately regretted his tone and turned to face Sam and started to stumble out an apology but Sam interrupted kindly. "No need." Sam shook his head softly, knowing exactly what Dean was going to say. "It's okay." Sam smiled. Dean's little brother was capable of understanding that Dean didn't mean to snap at him, but being in planes clearly didn't help with Dean's edginess.

They stayed silent for about half the trip, Dean trying in vain to sleep and Sam trying to read a Man of Letter's journal, when the plane jumped.

Dean immediately opened his eyes, his arm suddenly across Sam's chest in a protective manner, like a shield from the danger. No one in the plane noticed this reaction except Sam and yet Dean's cheeks turned a shade of pink and he lowered his arm quickly, gripping it on his bouncing knee. Sam, however, reached out and settled his hand on top of Dean's, intertwining their fingers and not giving a damn who saw them.

His big brother looked down at their connected hands, and slowly looked up. The small smile on his lips proved to Sam that Dean needed that.

The airplane pilot spoke and Dean's ears perked, hung on every word. "We're going through some turbulence," The pilot's tired voice spoke through the cabins. Obviously, he wasn't concerned. "But it's nothing to worry about. Just sit back and relax and we'll get through this in a few minutes."

Dean turned his head away from his brother, not in anger but silently telling Sam that he was done with this conversation and done with being on an aircraft. When Dean wasn't ready to talk, hardly anyone could get him to speak except for Sam, and even then that could be a challenge. It took patience and soft words, but Sam was the only one who could help Dean. That's the way it's always been and nothing had changed.

Sam's eyes were still on Dean. Saying nothing yet Sam watched to see how bad the situation was doing to his big brother as he saw the muscles twitching in Dean tense jaw, his green eyes looked ready for an attack at any given moment as he started directly ahead of him, eyes looking anywhere but the windows and Sam. Sam wondered if Dean even noticed his restless leg bouncing rapidly up and down in anxiety.

"Stop looking at me like I'm going to explode or something.'" Dean said flatly, his body still tense and apprehensive. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, course you are." Sam said in a huff although there was no heat behind his words. He understood his brother's way of dealing with fear, and the only way for him to function most times is to play through it. Get through it and don't worry about it. Soldiers don't get scared and they don't let their guard down, especially not when they had something precious to take care of. "Will you tell me if this gets to be too much?" Sam asked gently, wanting to do whatever it took to help his brother.

"It's not like they're just gonna stop the plane on a dime." Dean mumbled like a five year old. Why did Sam have to be so nice about this when Dean was acting like a pouting child?

"Dean…" Sam started, an exasperated fondness in his tone. Dean's eyes shifted to meet his brother's gaze, his mouth tight with nervousness. "Please, just tell me. You know you can tell me anything."

Dean opened his mouth to respond but the plane did another jerk caused by an air pocket and he felt his contents in his stomach try to crawl up and escape through his mouth, causing him to clamp his mouth shut and resumed his deep breathing with his eyes squeezed close. He could feel Sam's eyes on him during the whole ordeal and wasn't surprised to open his eyes to see a concerned Sammy eyeing him.

"Ah God, this sucks." Dean gasped out, letting his head fall back against the head rest as he focused on the roof of the plane, needing something, anything, to get his mind of the fact that he was currently _in a freaking plane_.

"It does." Sam said sympathetically, reaching out to gently grip Dean's restless knee, trying to be supportive. "It'll be done soon."

"I know…" Dean mumbled miserably.

"Dean." Sam whispered meaningfully, placing his hand over Dean's. "Did something happen? That made you nervous of heights?" The words were spoken with patience and love, his eyes showed that if Dean's didn't want to answer, Sam would drop it. But Dean couldn't leaving Sam feeling that Dean didn't trust him, he wouldn't let him think that.

Dean sighed in resignation, running a shaky hand down his face in defeat. "It's not the heights, not really, I mean they don't help-but it's…I don't know…"

Sam said nothing, knowing that Dean needed to get his thoughts in order. Slowly, so that Dean could see his movements and stop him if he wanted to, Sam reached over to his brother's face, cupping the back of his head tenderly, his hazel eyes searching his brother's face for any sign that he didn't want to be touched, that he didn't want to speak. His thumb gently caressing Dean's chin, Sam gave an encouraging smile, letting Dean know that whatever he said, Sam wasn't going to leave his side. Not now. Not ever.

"You know me," Dean mumbles, feeling Sam's fingers leave his face. "I _hate_ not being in a situation that I can't control." Dean's voice is so low that Sam has to lean in to hear him properly; allowing Sam and only Sam to hear his confession. "If I'm not in control…If I can't help people…then I'm no good to anyone."

The fear slowly drains out of Dean as he finished his admission, leaving him feeling heavy and sad. "I can't do anything for anyone if something goes wrong here. I can't save you, I can't help you. How am I any good if I can't protect you?" Dean looks at Sam, imploring him to understand why he feels like this, why he needs to protect Sammy.

"Dean…You've always been my protector…You've never let me down and you never could."

Dean's eyes never leave Sam's, searching for any sign of doubt, any sign of a lie, but Sam wasn't lying. He knew Dean was always going to be there for him, and how could he do any less for his brother?

"We are safe, and I promise, that you are, and never have been, weak. You don't need to worry about protecting me or anyone else."

Dean scoffed at the words, rolling his eyes. To deny something that was hardwired into him like that was laughable.

"I'm serious." Sam insisted. "It's not your job."

"Yeah…it is." Dean's tone was soft, but there was almost a determination behind his words, an assurance that the world was always going to need help but not need him. And the words pissed Sam off.

"Well, then you don't have to do it alone."

Dean's green eyes never looked away from Sam's stern gaze.

It took a while, but soon Dean was able to relax enough to yawn sleepily before his head slowly came down on Sam's shoulder.

The seat-belt sign flashed and the captain's bored voice filled the cabin with the information that they were preparing for landing. No one had seen or understood what had happened between the two brothers in aisle 2B. Sam's hand was still protectively on Dean's arm the whole time.

"Thanks Sammy." Dean muttered shyly.

"Any time." Sam promised before placing a tender kiss on Dean's freckled temple. Dean closed his eyes at the touch and felt like he could literally feel all his worries and fears melt away at the loving touch. They left the airport, heading home.

_I am so very sorry about the late update, everyone. I'm afraid that I don't think I can write anymore brand new prompts; not with the my jobs, school,and internship. I feel SO bad, but I think I'll just stick with the prompts that have already been asked for. I feel so terrible about that. If life finally decides to slow down enough for me to take on more ideas, I will gladly accept them again! If anything changes, I will let you all know!_

_Love you all! *hugs!*_

_Next prompt!_ maybe you can write a prompt about Dean taking care of Sam after 10x19 "The Werther Project". He lost a lot of blood and that can't be good...


	48. The Werther Project Ending

_Prompt: maybe you can write a prompt about Dean taking care of Sam after 10x19 "The Werther Project". He lost a lot of blood and that can't be good..._

_God bless our boys, they seem to always get into trouble...They need love. But since I can't hug them, I guess they better comfort each other! Thank you wonderful people for not hating me! I'm trying to update more often! Honestly, classes are burning me out already and I'm having seconds thoughts about my English major but at the same time, I know that's the only thing I'm okay at...anyway, enough about me! Let's get to our boys!_

Dean loves his brother but even Sam had to see that he was the dumbest person on earth. Well, aside from himself.

Seriously, Dean was not worth the amount of blood that Sam was losing; at least that was the thought that was currently running through Dean's head as he sped back to their home, and pulled into their bunker and ripped open the Impala's side door; either forgetting or not caring that he could have potentially danged his Baby (which when it came to Sam, Dean would burn the Impala if it meant Sam was alive and happy).

Sam, pale from blood loss and weak with the events that happened not even an half hour ago, was still insisting to his big brother than it was" no big deal" and "I can walk myself to the door, I'm not twelve" fell on deaf ears. Dean didn't even ask for permission when he lowered his arms underneath Sam's legs and shoulder and picked him up with ease.

"I'm fine, Dean." Sam mumbled tiredly, though his fingers still wrapped around Dean's jacket like it was a lifeline and his head leaned against his big brother's collarbone. Sam assured himself that if anything, he was just tired from his actions, though knowing his big brother, saying he was "tired" would have Dean worried that Sam was losing too much blood to even walk and therefore must be bedridden for weeks...maybe months if Sam didn't start recovering in the next five minutes.

Sam smirked at the thought of Dean ensuring that Sam's diet consist of only soup, crackers, and M&amp;Ms. God he loved this dork.

"I don't see you looking pale is supposed to be funny." Dean muttered darkly, pulling Sam closer as they wobbled closer to the entrance of their home. He clutched Sam closer by the waist and lowered him carefully to Sam's feet as Dean used his left hand to unlock the door, ignoring Sam's mumbles of how he could walk himself. Their footsteps echoed in the empty halls of the bunker, leaving only the steady footsteps of Dean helping him to safety as reassurance that he was not passed out back there with Crowley's mother.

"Not funny." Sam murmured, glancing up at the concerned glare of his brother fondly. "Just smiling at the thought of you mothering me over a scratch."

Dean snorted loudly, still grabbing on to his baby brother as they continued down to the long halls towards their bedrrom. "A scratch, huh? If you call that a scratch, what do you call a stab wound?"

"Uh...free pocket?"

"Ew." Dean groaned, loosening his hold on Sam and that's when Sammy realized that they had made it to their room. "Come on, little big man needs rest."

"I'm _fine_." Sam rolled his eyes though not fighting when Dean sat on the edge of the bed, untying Sam's boots.

"Tell me that after a good night's rest, and maybe I'll let you out of quarantine." Dean announced matter-of-factually, tossing the boots away from the bed and pulling up the covers over Sam as he started kicking off his own boots. Maybe if he wasn't so tired, Sam would groan, complain, even joke about the complete way that Dean was treating him like he was a toddler again, but...that was hard to complain about when it was being done by his big brother, his best friend, his own guardian angel.

Dean may think that getting the Mark off wasn't worth Sam getting hurt, and naturally as soon as he was better he was going to get ripped a new one from Dean, but none of that mattered because Sam was always, _always_, going to risk everything to save his big brother. And nothing was ever going to change that.

Sam signed contently as the covers were soothed around him. "Thanks." Sam whispered, prying open his heavy eyelids to look up to Dean.

His big brother was pale-not sick pale but the worried pale he never failed to have when something was wrong with his Sammy. His green eyes were staring unblinkingly at Sam and the younger brother had to close his eyes again; the feeling of guilt for putting that look on Dean's face filled Sam chest. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Sam signed sadly, genuinely feeling remorse for almost making the Mark worse but still feeling glad that he tried to help; this was _Dean _after all, Sam wasn't going to sit around and hope Dean would get better. Sam would make deal after deal, kill demon and angel alike, kill Death himself if he had to, just as long as he had his brother by his side.

"I'll get mad once you're feeling one hundred percent again." Dean shrugged, shifting on the bed till he was lying next to Sam, his back against the headboard and his legs straight out on the blanket.

"I just..." Sam looked up at Dean again, those puppy dog eyes shoot straight into Dean heart. "I need you to be safe too De...I can't stop from feeling that."

Dean nodded softy, his hand reaching out and started stroking the long brown locks of Sam's hair. The smooth rhythm brought of a purr like sign from Sam and he scooted closer, his head moved up to lay gently on Dean's hip. Dean's movement didn't falter and soon a small hum was coming from his lips and his fingers set up a constant stream of movement. The nostalgic tune from his younger years was relaxing, comforting. "Hey Jude" had that effect on him.

"Love you, Dean..." Sam sighed, his eyelids pressed down before he even knew it. Before he passed out from exhaustion, his fingers raised up slightly to wrap around Dean's digits that were not buried through Sam's hair. Before he felt the comfort of sleep take over, his fingers were being held on to ever so carefully with such _tender_ affection that Sam slept with the softest of smiles on his face.

"I love you Sammy." Dean whispered as he heard Sam's breathing even out, going deeper into slumber. They would talk about what happened later; for now he was going to make sure that his soulmate was safe and unharmed. Dean was _not _going to let this Mark consume him. He had Sammy to think about, to protect, to love.

After all, Sammy always comes first over everything else.

_Thank you again for reading! You are amazing! *hug!* _

_Next prompt!_ Could you make an ending of 4x14 too?


	49. After the Siren

Prompt: Could you make one of 4x14 too?

_Thank you for the prompt! I hope it is what you wanted!_

_I want to thank each and everyone of you for your amazing and helpful reviews, the __favorites __and follows, and your support. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate it and I wanted to let you know that!_

**_You can break my soul, take my life away, beat me, hurt me, kill me, but for the love of God, don't touch him._**

"_Take care of your brother, Dean." "Watch out for Sammy." "Be a good brother, Dean."_ Those were the rules that had been drilled into his head since before he could even read and write. Protecting Sammy was his one and only job. Not once was there a suggestion throughout Dean's life of almost impaling Sammy with an ax because of a siren. Dean almost bashed his baby brother's head in with an ax...and he would have. Dean snuck a quick look over to the curled up form of his sleeping brother. When Sam woke up, Dean knew without a doubt Sam would do his infamous puppy dog eye look at Dean and he would push for his big brother to talk about it...oh yeah, that was going to be a fun conversation…

Ever since he had come home to their hotel room, things had been rough…well, not as rough as Hell but it was getting more and more difficult for Dean to stay with Sam anymore. Sam didn't want him around anymore. He hadn't said those exact words but his behavior had. The secrets, the lies? Sam was pushing Dean away ever since he came back from the dead and he was having a hard time to be mad at Sammy. It hurt, hell, if he was being completely honest with himself, it hurt just as bad as the tortures he had ensure all those decades at Alastair's hands.

Sam had no need for Dean; Sam had been doing perfectly fine without his broken monster of a brother being thrown back into his life. Why would he want Dean around anymore? He was broken…Sam was safer without him.

They had been walking on eggshells around each other since the Siren incident earlier that day and it was only time before Sam snapped and announced that he wanted to be free from his big brother and there was no way Dean would be able to stomach actually hearing those words.

Without the slightest of noise, Dean had carefully packed his handful of items that he always brought with him and stuffed it in his case. Another quick look at Sam proved that he hadn't heard him leaving and it was just as well. Dean swallowed anxiously, half of him screaming at him to get it over with and leave while the other half, the big brother half, begged him to stay.

Sam _was_ safer without Dean. It was a plain and obvious fact. Staying meant that Alastair would eventually use Sammy to gain Dean's attention and that was _not_an option. With that in mind, Dean nodded to himself: It was time.

Unable to force himself from sneaking one more look at his baby brother, grabbed his pack and swung it over his shoulder. He's leave Baby with Sammy, but other than that he had everything he needed...well, almost everything.

Sam hardly looked Dean in the eyes anymore…he wouldn't notice Dean had left until it was too late.

"What are you doing?"

Or so he thought.

Sam's bare feet slapping against the wooden floor had Dean's fingers freeze on the hotel doorknob, mentally swearing now that he had been caught. Composing his face to look indifferent when all he wanted to do was bolt out that door, Dean turned and eyed his horrified little brother with a hard tone of voice.

"Leaving." Dean said simply. He didn't want or need Sam to lie and ask him to try and stay, this was the best for Sammy. _That_was the most important thing about this. "Isn't that what you were pushing for?" Dean added in spite of himself, causing him to clench the fist that was not currently gripping the doorknob like it was a life preserver, for allowing himself to let Sam see how much this was effecting him.

Hazel eyes blinked rapidly at his brother, his tired mind awake instantly the moment he heard the creaking of footsteps. Somehow, Sam knew what that meant. In the back of his mind, he wondered if this was how Dean felt when Sam had left all those years ago, expect this time, Sam was not going to convince himself separating from his family was the best. "Dean…" Sam tried but he couldn't seem to shake himself out of the situation that Dean was planning on leaving him in the middle of the night.

"It's for the best, Sammy." Dean's eyes softened, his hand was still on the knob, ready to go at any time.

"B-but-you can't just leave." Sam spluttered. For the best? For who? Certainly not for Sam; because in what universe would being away from Dean be for the best?

"You can't mean that!" Sam held his hands out to his side, unsure what to do with them when he was fighting the urge to reach out and pull Dean away from the door. "Is it because of the siren? Because I promise you-"

"It's because I need you safe." Dean cut in smoothly. "And almost chopping your head off kinda is the opposite of you being kept safe."

"That wasn't you though!" Sam was getting desperate; he risked taking a stride closer and his fingers were quickly yanking at Dean's shoulder dispute Dean's obvious body language of "stay away".

Green eyes flicked onto the long fingers that were clutching at his jacket but reminded himself why this was happening. Pity. That's all this was. If Dean had been quick enough, Sam would have woken up without having to fool himself into some poorly placed obligation to keep Dean with him. "But it still happened." Dean reminded him. "You don't need me; and let's be honest here, you would have been fine without me coming back into your life."

Sam had been trained for years on how to be a lawyer for the love of God, on what to do or say whenever a situation came up, yet he had no smart response to that. What Dean said was a ...ridiculously stupid thing to say. Fine? Without Dean? It would have been laughable how wrong those words were if this wasn't such a serious moment. Ruby would have been sneering in glee at this opportunity for Sam to finally be able to do what she had been teaching him to do without Dean being there to stop him. But Ruby was the furthest thing from Sam's mind.

"No!" Sam's word was louder than he planned but he couldn't let Dean go. Not after...everything. His fingers were still gripping Dean, with more strength than Dean was using to hold on to the door. "Dean please-I'm sorry-please don't go." His words were jumbled and unprepared but it didn't stop Dean from listening to every word like it being said by their own father. "I need you…I can't lose you again."

There it was.

The words that both brothers needed to hear.

Neither brother could lose the other.

The silence was deafening; both brothers waiting for the other to say something, _anything_, yet they remained as quiet as the night. Until finally Dean spoke. He looked at the closed door, his head leaning against it and spoke only in a whisper, unable to look Sam in the eyes. "But what is you change your mind? What then?" It was a child-like question but it was one that he needed answered. He couldn't stay, only to understand that Sam wanted him to stay more out of pity than brotherhood. It would ruin him in ways that not even Hell could.

Sam raised his hand higher, and with extreme gentleness, he cupped Dean's chin, raising his head to face his young brother. "Dean..." He wanted to promise that what Dean feared would never happen, because that was a situation that seemed impossible. But Dean needed to hear something even more than that. "I couldn't live without you any more than you could live without me."

The pure, complete honesty resulted in Dean swallowing back his emotions that faded from high anxiety to tender affection; feeling his eyes start to sting, he pulled his head away from Sam and his baby brother's hand went back to holding his shoulder. Gulping, he could feel his little brother's stare on his profile; knowing, _feeling_, that Sam was hoping against hope that maybe he was able to convince his brother to stay…

Wordlessly, Dean closed the hotel door and Sam let out an audible breath of relief. Walking past his relived brother, Dean set down his duffle bag by his bed before plopping on the hard mattress; his feel dangling off the bed limply. Sam followed his brother's lead and sat next to him, feeling confident that Dean didn't push him away or make a teasing remark about their chick moment. Sam's eyes never looked away from his big brother's face.

"Thank you." Sam whispered.

Dean nodded tiredly. The silence surrounded them, yet it was not uncomfortable. Sam eyed his legs, picking absentmindedly at the frayed ends of his sleep pants while thinking of something to say when slowly, but confidently, Dean's hand was wrapped around Sam's shoulders and pulled towards him. Sam found himself leaning his own head against Dean's and his eyes closed. Inhaling deeply, Sam's heart started beating at a normal pace again, having it's other half back by its side.

Dean still cared for him, still loved him, and was going to stay...for him. Sam pushed deeper into the embrace and felt Dean sneak another arm around Sam's front, holding him securely in a way that he hadn't done a long time. It was a hold that reminded Sam of everything he had lost that night the Hellhounds come, and what he had miraculously gotten back by literally the grace of God.

Sam's own fingers snaked around Dean's waist and Sam knew he had to go back and see Ruby tomorrow; he needed to get stronger, more powerful, and better than all the other creatures and monsters in the world; because he would never be faced with the future of losing Dean again. If that was the only way he could keep Dean safe, then so be it. He would never lose his brother again.

Never.

_Next prompt: Sick Sam after the Asylum episode_


	50. Asylum and the Sick Brother

Sick Sam after the Asylum episode

_Awesome prompt! Thank you for the prompt suggestion!_

**I know my brother like I know my own mind **

**You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind**

**I love my brother more than anything in this life **

**I will choose his happiness over mine every time**

**Lyrics: Hamilton. **_I loved this song and I thought switching the gender would fit for our boys, so I apologize in advance if that annoys anyone!_

Figures.

Just when things were looking up for the Winchester brothers, fate decided that it was time for some more trouble. For Sam Winchester, his trouble came in the form of coughing his lungs out and sneezing every few seconds. Which, being the big brother that he is, would have had Dean poking light fun at Sammy if it wasn't for the fact that even though Sam was still raw and emotional after the Asylum incident but being sick made him even more sensitive.

Dean had been in their crappy, but still useful enough, motel kitchen making his currently hacking out another coughing fit. Grimacing in sympathy, Dean grabbed the bowl of soup and made his way towards the bed, and quickly needed to bit back his annoyance when he saw Sam out of bed and sniffling by his laptop.

"I told you, no getting out of bed." Dean repeated for what felt like the tenth time that hour. "Not since you had medicine. It won't work if you're not in bed." Dean set the soup down by the dresser before hooking both hands under Sam's arms and pulled a weak little brother away from the computer desk.

"But when it kicks in, I get all sleepy." Sam pouted childishly in a horse voice trying in vain to slide out of the firm grip his brother had on him; Sam's feet slide uselessly against the motel floor as his laptop got annoyingly farther away. Years of experience with a grumpy and pouting Sam Winchester had Dean settle back into the overprotective mother-hen role Dean feared he'd never go through again when Stanford happened.

"That's the point. Now lay back down." Dean drawled, silently relived when Sam complied reluctantly as he limply stopping resisting him and plopped angrily against his bed. Dean rolled his eyes at his stubbornness though he expected this type of behavior. He couldn't help the small smirk that formed on his face, thinking of when Dad was the one ill. Sick Sam and Dad were more difficult than any other supernatural creature Dean ever had the misfortune to face.

"I've been sick alone before, I can handle myself." Sam muttered defiantly. His bangs were hiding his face, though by his tone alone Dean could tell he was getting increasingly irritated at his lack of independence.

"So have I, and it sucks, so shut up and drink the soup." Dean ordered promptly, smoothing back Sam's sweaty dark bangs out of his face and pulling the blanket up over Sammy's chest. Sam muttered something Dean couldn't hear but grabbed his bowl of soup without anymore complaint, which Dean counted as a win. Dean turned on the TV on a lower setting and sat crossed-armed on the same bed, leaving the conversation at that.

Sam was silent for a while after the small argument, the medicine kicking in finally. Dean stayed on the edge of the bed, giving his brother room without having to leave his sight. True, Sam had been alone for years, with only the occasional drive by when Dean or John felt the need to ensure the youngest was alive and well. And true, Dean was the one who drove by the most (and if he was in a complete honest mood, he might even confess he drove by no less than once a week), but his baby brother functioning perfectly as a normal adult didn't stop Dean from falling right back into his big brother ways.

It was difficult to find the balance of trying to take care of his young brother without acting like he thought Sam was still a kid. Sammy was always going to be his baby brother but after three years emotionally apart, maybe Sam didn't feel the same way. The thought was a reoccurring one, and it never failed to feel like a punch to the gut. Dean eyed his brother out of the corner of his eye, watching him finish the last few sips of soup before trying to put it back on the dresser with shivering hands. On instinct Dean reached over and carefully grabbed it from Sam's weaker grip and set it on the nightstand before returning his gaze back on the television.

"I didn't know."

Dean turned his head to see the red-nosed profile of his brother, looking down at his own hands, maybe seeing something that Dean couldn't. "Didn't know what?" Dean asked, his green eyes never leaving Sam's as he started lowering the TV, giving Sam his undivided attention.

"I didn't know Dad left you alone when you were sick." Sam mumbled, fighting to keep his eyes open. He turned his head to fully face his brother and Dean choked back a sign at seeing Sam's eyes red with un-fallen tears.

"Everyone gets sick by themselves at least a few times." Dean shrugged like it was no big deal.

"But you shouldn't have." Sam's voice was getting softer, his sniffling having little to do with the cold. "Did he know when you were sick?"

"Not all the time." Dean professed honestly, waiting to defend John if this was another attempt to look at Dean like he was a mindless soldier.

Instead, Sam went a different route. "You always called me when I was sick at Stanford. Why didn't you ever tell me when you were?"

Dean shrugged again, careful to avoid eye contact. "I was fine." He used to try to find any excuse to to talk to Sam, but the more he did, the more he felt like Sam answered out of obligation. Maybe he didn't but leaving your family and swearing that you never wanted to see your father again did kinda feel like that person really didn't want to have anything to do with his family.

"Somehow I doubt that would have been a good enough excuse for you if I ever said that." Sam rightly reminded him.

Dean didn't answer, though both brothers knew it was true.

Seeing Dean wasn't going to reply, Sam pushed on. "So _I_ can get sick and you'd drop everything to help, but _you_ get sick and it's-" Sam adopted Dean's famous shrug. "Nothing?"

"It's different." Dean spoke in a low voice.

"How is it different?" Sam was losing the battle against his medicine, odds were he'd remember hardly any of this when he woke up. Dean stayed silent for a few more moment. If he would fall asleep soon, maybe Dean could get out of having to really sit down and talking about his "feelings." Dean bit his lip as he was attempting to string his words together while Sam waited patiently.

"I guess..." Dean hesitated for a moment. "I didn't want you to think I was trying to guilt you into coming back." Dean kept his away on the TV, unsure of what was even on but he couldn't face Sam. "If you ever wanted to come back, I wanted it to be because you chose _us_. Not because you felt bad or something."

Sam was quiet after that. Hoping for the best, Dean looked over to see closed eyes and for a moment was torn between being grateful and upset that Sam had fallen asleep before knowing what Dean said before hearing- "You're my brother De...of course I want to know if you're okay...It's my job too."

The sentiment had Dean feeling like a heavy weight was lifted off his chest so fast he felt as if it had really been there, crushing him for months, years even, until Sammy announced that.

Dean heard his breathing even out, soon Sam's eyes were fallen shut and his mouth hung open with a small snore filling the room. Dean stayed in his spot for a while longer, his eyes never leaving Sam's pale face. Scooting closer, Dean sat next to his brother, shoulder to shoulder, ankle to ankle. Both laid flat on-top of the bed. The sound of Sam's snoring stopped soon and only the lowered dialogue on the TV was heard. "Love you too, Samantha." He whispered, leaning even closer to teh warmth of his brother, pleased he couldn't see the smile placed on his lips.

And completely unaware of the smallest smile forming on Sam's.

Next: Sam and Dean go see Star War at a drive-thru. Doesn't matter which one.


	51. Two Brothers and a Drive-In Theater

**Plot: Sam and Dean go see Star War at a drive-thru**

_So since Rogue One is coming out *cue internal screams of excitement* I thought this might be appropriate. Hope you like it! Got a couple finals today but our boys were begging at me to post this first!_

"Is something bad happening?" Dean couldn't stop himself from asking his brother, his suspicious squinting in the same manner as when Cas does it.

Dean had been kidnapped from his warm, comfortable bed back at the bunker and shoved into their car. They had been on the road for only fifteen minutes give or take, and yet Dean hadn't stop pushing at his little brother to confess as to where they were going. Though now it was more out of a big brother desire to tease Sam than to really know where they were going.

Sam continued staring at the road, though he didn't stop the smirk on his lips. "Nope." Sam answered smugly, grinning at the indignant look that was being directed at him.

"Stop smiling like that!" Dean shoved Sam's arm, though his fingers lingered too long for it to be thought of as a rude act. "This is going to be bad, isn't it?" Dean continued squinting.

"No!" Sam scoffed, looking over at his brother with exasperated fondness before eyeing the road again. "It's a surprise."

"A bad surprise."

"You are _such_ a baby."

"A baby who knows that this is going to be bad."

Sam rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. He honestly had no real reason to not tell Dean, but the teasing was worth it. He _missed_ this. Between being Mom coming back, the torture that he had been through, her leaving them again, and so many other things, they hadn't been Sam and Dean. They had been hunters, but not _brothers_. Sam felt like he was going through "big brother withdrawal" or something because having to be on hunter mode for so long was too much for him, and he could tell Dean felt the same way.

"Is it going to be something that will have me regretting agreeing to coming with you?" Dean leaned closer, his face a few inches away from Sam's before Sammy swatted him away, laughing goodheartedly.

"No."

"Is that nerd for yes?"

"You're a bigger nerd than me and you know it."

Dean's mouth dropped open with a fake indignant expression. His hand clutching his chest comically, he spoke in a hurt tone. "I have never been so offended in my life."

"Not even when that girl said you had a dad bod?"

"I still don't know what that is and I don't want to know."

"It's actually a compliment for most."

"Please shut up."

Sam seemed to take that as a challenge and tried to put in the explanation for the attraction for the dad body before Dean started groaning and talking over him. It was the sight of a drive-in theater with the words "Star Wars: A New Hope" that had Dean be the one to stop speaking.

"I-you-wha-" Words completely failed Dean as he watched in amazement at the screen that was in front of the Impala as Sam easily paid for the tickets. Sam turned off the car and crossed his arms smugly, turning to face his brother.

"I figured one could never go wrong with Star Wars." Sam shrugged, still smiling at his open mouthed brother.

Dean scoffed disbelievingly, eyeing his brother with awe. "God, I love you."

Was it silly for Sam's cheeks to turn pink at that? If it was, Sam would never feel like a proclamation of love from Dean was silly.

Night was slowly creeping up, the moon became more notable as several more cars were coming behind the brothers, some with children and others without. All had in common the love for the films.

"I've raised you well, you dork." Dean beamed, swinging an arm around the back of Sam's shoulders, cupping the back of his head tenderly, protectively and possessively at the same time and Sam doesn't mind it one bit. Sam's face shined with pleasure, examining Dean's look of excitement with pleasure.

"I know no other way." Sam smirked.

"Now shut up, I wanna see the previews." Dean said like he was indifferent, yet his reach over their seats and laced Sam and his fingers together, both brother holding on to each other's fingers with affection.

_I am so sorry for all the delays in these stories. I feel so bad. Thank you SO much for reading it! I hope you like it. *hug!*_

Next: **I would love you to write one specifically, after the resurrection of Sammy Season 2**


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